ROBOT ARCHIE: The JUNGLE ROBOT - PART ONE...

Copyright REBELLION

If you're a fan of British comics and are aware of their halcyon heyday then you've probably heard of the legendary ROBOT ARCHIE, who first appeared in LION #1 in 1952 when the strip was simply titled The JUNGLE ROBOT.  Being the lucky owner of the first 17 issues of Lion, I've decided to share Archie's early strips with you here.  I haven't checked to see if the story is complete, but at least it's a start if you decide to seek out further adventures of the mechanical marvel.

Don't miss part two - coming soon!

PRISONER OF LOVE...

From when songs were songs and singers were singers and the world was a better place, comes PERRY COMO with PRISONER Of LOVE.  (Now dem's what ya call lyrics!)

OINK! A PUERILE PIECE OF PUTRID PISH FIT ONLY FOR THE PIGSTY...

Copyright relevant owner

Who misses WHIZZER & CHIPS, BUSTER, VALIANT, LION, EAGLE, TV21, TIGER, and - well, I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the point.  The aforementioned periodicals were, in the main, quality comics, but that's not always why we miss things from our past, sometimes we miss them mainly because they represent a happy and carefree period when we were young and thought we had forever.  However, kids my age were lucky in that the comics on sale in our day were usually produced to a high standard.

Such nostalgia must surely explain why anyone would look back with any degree of fondness on a weak title like OINK! though.  What a putrid pile of pish it was, with badly-drawn strips and puerile humour by adults trying just a tad too desperately to be anarchic and 'down-with-the-kids'.  There were some good artists working on the comic as well, but sadly not enough to elevate it above where it belonged - in a pigsty along with all the other sh*t to be found there.

Believe it or not, there are some deluded individuals out there who claim that Oink! was a success and one of the all time greats, but here's a few facts to consider.  Back in the day when this country actually had a comics industry (a real one that is, not the pale, shrinking shadow that clings on today by its decaying fingertips), it took a publisher around two years to recoup the expense of launching a new comic onto the market.

Basic, repetitive art and overwhelmingly bad lettering.
H'mm, now I see where The Dandy took its cue from

However, Oink! only lasted for 68 issues over a two and a half year period.  It started as a fortnightly, changed to a weekly at the end of its second year, then turned into a monthly before being merged into Buster.  Newsagents didn't like the comic, but neither did enough kids, otherwise it surely would've lasted longer than it did.  The fact that the page count was soon reduced and the mag switched to cheaper paper after only around 26 issues seems to indicate that it was struggling pretty early on, so claims of it being a success should be regarded with some degree of scepticism.

However, if you liked the comic, don't worry - you're allowed to.  Nobody will come to your house and arrest you, although it could be argued that bad taste should be a chargeable offence - with capital punishment as a possible option when it comes to sentencing.  So your memories are secure, but face the facts - a crime was committed and the comics-buying public were the victims.

So - Oink?  Ouch!  Perhaps that was when the decline set in.

BABE Of The DAY - ELKE SOMMER...

Now that's what I call a face!  Gentlemen,

the electrifying ELKE SOMMER - wow!

HAMMY HOUDINI - HE DEFIED DEATH, BUT ONLY ONCE, ALAS...

When I was - oh, I dunno - around ten I suppose, me and my brother had a pet hamster called (you'll never guess) HAMMY.  The name was inevitable, both of us having grown up on TALES Of The RIVERBANK, one of the WATCH WITH MOTHER TV shows for kids.  Hammy had a cage which was sometimes kept in the kitchen, sometimes in the garden cellar.  We would watch in rapt fascination as he raced 'round his wheel for what seemed an absolute age, presumably enjoying himself.  Now I realize it was probably out of frustration and because he was 'stir-crazy'.

One day, my brother announced that Hammy was dead, and with the morbid curiosity that most kids are heir to, we examined the corpse.  Poor Hammy.  We tenderly wrapped him up in a brown paper bag and gingerly laid him in the refuse bin in the back garden, then retired back to the living-room to mourn our departed pet.  But then I had a sudden brainwave.  "Maybe he's only hibernating" I speculated, so we retrieved Hammy from the bin and laid him before the electric fire in an attempt to revive him.

Sure enough, after a while, Hammy came out of his state of suspended animation and sniffed the air.  What a narrow escape and no mistake.  I'm unsure as to just how long Hammy was with us after his Lazarus impersonation, but one day I noticed he was missing from his cage in the cellar and a search of the confined space afforded no joy.  Perhaps a week or so later, I found him dead in our watering can (in the cellar), and even today I cringe in horror at the thought of his despair as he waited for a rescue that never came.

I think this time we buried him in the garden instead of the bin, but at least there was absolutely no doubt he was actually dead.  No consolation of course, but thankfully he was spared the awful fate of waking up as he was consigned to the grinding cogs of a bin lorry and meeting, perhaps, an even worse fate than the one which eventually claimed him.

Nearly 50 years later, I still think of Hammy on occasion, and find myself hoping he didn't suffer too much or for too long. Any Criv-ites out there ever have a childhood pet which they still fondly remember today?  Resurrect them for a brief period by telling us all about them in the comments section.

BABE Of The DAY - PENELOPE CRUZ...

The lovely PENELOPE recently had

trouble signing autographs 'cos her pen ran

out of ink, so she got a new one which writes as

smooth as silk.  Now when she signs her name,

she looks at her new pen and says - "Parker,

well done!"  (See what I did there?)

The SILVER SURFER COVER GALLERY OMNIBUS...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Yes, I know - I've shown these covers before, but it was over several posts and I thought it would be handy to have them all in one place for all you pantin' panelologists to slobber over.  The first seven issues were double-sized, 25 cents publications, and #8 was prepared that way as well.  However, it was split over two issues when it was decided to make the mag a regular-sized, 15 cents monthly.  The series lasted for only 18 issues, so assuming the change was made because it was thought the pricier format was scaring off readers, it wasn't soon enough to make a difference in sales, alas.

JACK KIRBY drew what became the last issue, but the mag's cancellation proved not even the 'King' could save it.  Sure, it was cancelled before the sales figures came in, but they must've been pretty underwhelming, as the mag would've been revived PDQ had it seemed to MARVEL they suddenly had a surefire runaway hit on their hands.  In fact, it has to be said Jack's issue is the weakest of the run and confirms STAN LEE was right in having big JOHN BUSCEMA illustrate the previous 17 tales.  I doubt the magazine would've lasted as long as it did had Jack drawn it from the very start , as his art had taken a decidedly cartoonish turn.

Got a favourite?  What memories are stirred in the cavernous confines of your mind as you peruse these powerful images from yesteryear?  Take a moment to savour those recollections, and then share them with the rest of us in the comments section.

Believe it or not, I bought pristine copies of #s 10-14 from a spinner-rack
 in a shop in Blackpool in 1973 or '74 - for the cover price of 5 pence each

I hadn't noticed before that #18 came out a whole 3 months after #17

PART FOUR Of The FABULOUS FANTASTIC FOUR COVER GALLERY...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

"Just what we've been waiting for!" I hear you all cry - yet another ten cataclysmic covers from The FANTASTIC FOUR comic by STAN LEE and JACK KIRBY.  Featuring issues # 31 to 40, my personal favourites from out the bunch are the last two.  How about you lot?  Which ones ring your bell the most?  Tell us why in our ever-lovin' comments section.

Eventually, we'll work our way through all 102 FF Kirby covers of the '60s, so that's something to look forward to.

Look at the size of the Thing here - he looks like a little boy
compared to Sue, yet he's actually slightly in front of her

BABE Of The DAY - ELKE SOMMER...

Too bad I've already used the

"I'm not feeling myself" line for some

other Babe, so we'll have to be content

with merely ogling this piccie of stunning

ELKE SOMMER with none of my witty

retorts to accompany it.  (Hey, what do

you Crivs mean, "Thank goodness for

 that!" ?  You ungrateful lot!)

MARVELMAN - NOW IT CAN BE TOLD...

Characters copyright MARVEL COMICS

As everyone and their granny surely knows, MARVEL COMICS now own the rights to MARVELMAN (sometimes known as MIRACLEMAN).  Several years back, when Marvel were considering acquiring the copyright and negotiations were underway, I was asked to letter some sample pages to be presented to Marvel as part of the process.  I had to sign a confidentiality clause, in effect until the matter was decided one way or the other.  Well, we all know the result, so here at last are those particular pages for your palpitating perusal.

Bear in mind that the writer/artist (who prefers to remain anonymous) was under no restrictions as to what he could do, and that, consequently, these pages do not represent any plans or ideas that Marvel had or may have for the character.  A Marvel bigwig described them to me in a telephone conversation as 'model comic art', and was extremely complimentary about my humble contribution as well.

So go on then - feast your eyes, then leave a comment!

PART FOUR Of The PERRY RHODAN FILES - PICTURE GALLERY...

Copyright relevant owner

As explained in part one, back in the mid-'80s I was given a folder containing a foreign publisher's pitch to either IPC or ODHAMS PRESS, attempting to interest them in the reprint rights to German comic strip character PERRY RHODAN.  Here are all the b&w film photos from that file, which I can now close due to lack of interest (mainly mine).

If you're a fan of the character and think he deserves better than my apathetic coverage, feel free to supply some pertinent details in the comments section.   Go on, step up to the plate and have your observations preserved for posterity.