THE DAILY PLANET - PRINTED AND PUBLISHED IN MILTON KEYNES...

Following on from the previous post, let me expand a little on the subject of 'Bob Billens' and my brief mention of SUPERMAN IV.  One evening, sometime in 1986 or early '87, I received a 'phone call from Bob, saying that he'd snapped several photographs of CHRISTOPHER REEVE dressed as Superman on location in MILTON KEYNES, where the 4th (and worst) film of the series was being shot, and where Bob and his wife were then (and may yet be) living.

"How much are they worth to you?" he suddenly enquired, which took me somewhat by surprise as, had the situation been reversed, I'd have had extra prints made and sent them to him at my own expense.  I hesitated for a second while I tried to come up with a diplomatic response.  "I'd be interested in seeing them because you took them," I said, "but they're not really worth anything to me over and above the cost of printing."  A moment of silence followed as he pondered this clearly unexpected development.  (No photographic pun intended by the way.)

"Do you know anyone else who might buy them? he asked, sounding almost desperate.  I doubt he'd have needed money, but he'd never previously shown any interest in being recognised as a photographer, so I wondered as to why he seemed so eager to sell them.  "I'll 'phone a couple of places," I said, "and get back to you."  As we drew our conversation to a close, he told me he'd get a spare set of photos made and post them to me.  "I'll reimburse all your costs," I said, "so that you won't be out of pocket!"

Once I got off the 'phone, I called two people.  One was the guy (Dave Hern I think) who ran Wonderworld Comics in Bournemouth and the other was one of the guys in charge at AKA Books & Comics in Glasgow.  Both calls were short ones, as neither of them could see the photographs being of any commercial value on account of there being no end of  images of Chris Reeve in his Superman togs.

I felt slightly disappointed on Bob's behalf as I rang him with the bad news.  He sounded annoyed, but I naturally assumed it was at the shortsighted thinking (as he would've seen it) of the two comics shop proprietors, not with me; after all, I'd done my best.  As I was saying my goodbyes, my father opened the living-room door (the 'phone was in the hall), letting out the sound of the TV, while at the same time continuing a conversation with my mother as he passed me.  The combined volume of telly and parents made it difficult to hear what Bob was saying, but we were in the closing seconds of our chat anyway.

"I'll call you when the pics arrive," I said, " 'Bye."  I was in a fair bit of haste to hang up and spare us from the cacophony of TV and parents, so didn't quite catch his reply, but I got the distinct impression he'd raised his voice.  I assumed he'd done so only to compensate for the sudden burst of sound emanating from his receiver, but on reflection, I now wonder if he was being stroppy, thinking I had been bullsh*tting about ringing anyone regarding the photos.  You see, I'd called him back within about 15 minutes, and perhaps he considered that too soon to have fully investigated all the potential possibilities.

Anyway, the photographs failed to materialise and I never heard from him again, though I later learned he'd dropped into our former workplace a couple of times while back in town to visit his inlaws.  I once considered him a top bloke, but when I became surplus to the requirements of his everyday life, I was jettisoned like so much 'excess baggage'.  However, my philosophy is who the hell needs 'friends' like that anyway, so no great loss.  So why bore you all with this reminiscence now, you may be wondering.  Am I acting under a bizarre compulsion to indulge in some sort of cathartic 'exorcism' ?

The explanation is simpler than that.  When one has a blog, one often has to plumbs the depths of one's personal experiences to provide material to write about, otherwise you lot would have to go without - and that'd never do.  So - consider the depths plumbed.

Any of your pals ever proved to be 'fairweather' friends?  Tell your Criv-ite chums all about it in our ever-so-interesting comments section.

Next - another rambling (but riveting) repost.

RAMBLING REPOST: SUPERMAN, 'BOB BILLENS', AND ME...

Images copyright DC COMICS

I was looking for some biographical information on a well-known comics artist a couple of days back, and duly entered his name (or so I thought) into the search box at the top of the screen. Being the impatient type, I picked the first one on the proffered list and hit the key - only to discover that it wasn't the individual I was looking for.

My mistake, but - many years ago - I had a friend whose name was very similar to that of the artist, and, in my haste, I'd unconsciously typed his name - Bob Billens - instead of the intended Bob Billings.  (Names changed to protect the guilty, but they really are that similar.) The face of what appeared to be a complete stranger stared out at me from the screen, and I was about to backspace to the previous page when something made me look again more closely.

Wonder of wonders! It was the actual former friend of nearly half my life ago, apparently doing very well in the world - if his self-penned many fine words in tribute to him and his achievements can be taken at face value.  Not that it matters much - he was always his own biggest fan.  And anyway, what's a blog for if not to blow one's own trumpet?  (And, in his case, try and generate a few freelance employment opportunities.)

What struck me, however, was just how old he looked, which is why I hadn't recognised him at first glance.  Being the nostalgic sort, I just couldn't stop my mind from rewinding back through the many years to when I first met 'Bob', sometime in 1979.  As I have to fill this blog with something, I may as well tell you about it now.  Hopefully, I'll contrive a way of making it seem at least vaguely interesting before we reach the end of the story.

Starting in February 1979, I worked in my local Central Library for about six or seven months. Quite a few of the 'head' librarians were given to looking down their noses at those working 'under' them, and boasting about the extent of their overdrafts.  (As banks only give money to those who've already got money, they considered it some sort of status symbol to be accorded the 'honour' of owing loads of dosh.  They really were a tedious bunch of pretentious, insufferable poseurs.

I'd been there for perhaps only a couple of months when a female colleague one day exclaimed: "You sound just like Bob Billens...", before explaining - in response to my predictable enquiry - that 'Bob Billens' was a university student (just graduated) who worked in the library during the Summer months.

Anyway, before long, I got to meet Bob Billens, and - sure enough - he did sound a little like me.  Amazingly, he was also a dyed-in-the-wool comicbook geek like myself, and we soon hit it off - talking comics and swapping opinions on what we thought of the new SUPERMAN movie with CHRISTOPHER REEVE (which was then still only a few months old).  We also indulged in a fair amount of secret sniggering at the pomposity and pretensions of our library 'masters'.

I very soon became discontented and suddenly quit the job, but our friendship continued. However, not too long afterwards, Bob and his wife (in a pre-planned career move) 'upped-sticks' and relocated to England.  We kept in touch for a few years until, gradually, his new life claimed him completely and his already steadily-waning inclination to maintain contact finally evaporated.

When shot-on-location photos of Superman IV he'd taken and promised to send never arrived - with no word from him in the weeks or months that followed - it became clear he'd no intention of getting in touch again.  Not being one to impose myself on people, I didn't pursue the matter, even though I found it slightly puzzling given our common interest.

Perhaps he'd simply concluded that, being hundreds of miles distant, I could serve no further possible practical purpose in his day-to-day life (especially after I'd given him my highly collectable SUPERMAN The MOVIE poster) and was therefore surplus to requirements.

Also, I probably just didn't measure up to his 'sophisticated' new circle of posh friends and colleagues down South.  He'd actually once 'hinted' as much on a brief visit home, when he gave me an odd look and said "I dread to think what the folks at work would say if they saw you."  He tried to say it in a 'jokey' way, but was obviously embarrassed by what he considered my lack of sartorial elegance and less than fashionable appearance.  (Judge for yourselves from the above photo.  I think I look rather saintly.)

The irony of him becoming the same kind of status-seeking, social-climbing snooty snob as the former library colleagues he'd so often claimed to despise and regularly heaped scorn upon isn't lost on me.  It would be on him though, but that's usually the way of such things.

That reminds me - I really must track down a replacement for that Superman movie poster one day.  One that doesn't look quite so old and as tired as Bob Billens.

(And 'Bob' - if by some remote chance you ever happen to read this - I'm sure you'd like to know that 'Big Rosa' sends you her regards.  I can't speak for anyone else though.)

******

And no doubt you'll all be pleased to know that I've now obtained a replacement poster of the one I originally bought way back in January 1979 in the ABC Cinema in Glasgow.