"WHEN GIANTS WALKED The EARTH!" PART NINE Of SCHOOLTIME SCANDALS...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

I don't remember her name, but I do remember what she looked like.  She taught English (I think) in a room of one of the annexed huts at the back of my secondary school's main building.  I can no longer recall how the topic came up (talking about DAVID and GOLIATH perhaps), but I suddenly tuned in to what she was saying when I heard her say that giants had never existed.

I knew that wasn't necessarily true.  Didn't my ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA Anthology say otherwise?  You can bet your last ROLO it did!  Here's part of what it said:

Remains of Giants

January 11.  1613, some masons digging near the ruins of a castle in Dauphine, France, in a field which (by tradition) had long been called the giant's field, at the depth of 18 feet discovered a brick-tomb 30 feet long, 12 feet wide, and 8 feet high;  on which was a grey stone, with the words Theutobochus cut thereon.  When the tomb was opened, they found a human skeleton entire, 25 feet and a half long, 10 feet wide across the shoulders, and five feet deep from the breastbone to the back.  His teeth were about the size each of an ox's foot, and his shin bone measured four feet.

It goes on to list other examples, but the one above will suffice for the purpose of this post.  I couldn't remember the exact details when I put my hand up to point out her 'error', but I knew I had the book back home which revealed the rashness of her claim.  I told her (in the politest of terms, naturally) that (if the EB accounts were true) she was wrong, but she pooh-poohed my earnest assertion with the assured, contemptuous manner of the intellectually superior towards the gullible and superstitious, and heaped scorn and derision on my head.

The very book I took to school in 1971 or '72

"There's no such thing as giants!  Only the most uneducated of people would ever believe they once existed" she mocked, dismissing me with a wave.  Next day, I brought in the very book and showed it to her in front of the class.  As she read, she paled, then blushed, looking distinctly uncomfortable.  She might be able to look down her nose at me, but the Encyclopaedia Britannica was a different matter.

She spoke, but her voice was hoarse.  She cleared her throat, then stuttered and stammered her reply.  "Er, there's no such thing as giants, but there were tall men.  I never said there weren't tall men.  This was obviously just a tall man - a very tall man" she said lamely.  The class sniggered at her desperate and unconvincing efforts to extricate herself from an embarrassing situation of her own making.

"Well, 25 and a half feet seems pretty gigantic to me - but regardless of their exact height, that's what they called 'very tall men' back then - 'giants'" I said.  "And what about the other examples?" I continued, triumphant in my vindication.  "Tall men, just very tall men" she blustered, trying to cling on to her rapidly fading credibility.  Too late!  It had vanished like a thief in the night, and yet another teacher had learned the folly of underestimating me.  Neds they could deal with, but I represented an altogether different kind of challenge - one that they routinely found themselves ill-equipped to tackle.  (Yeah, you can feel the ego there, can't you?)

She always tried to avoid my gaze after that.  We both knew who had come off second-best in our little encounter and doubtless she didn't want to be reminded of it should our eyes meet across the classroom.  Teachers, eh?

The full extract.  Click to enlarge

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(What she should have said, of course, was that she was talking about fairy-tale giants who lived in castles in the sky, or that the excerpts in the book reflected the knowledge and opinions of earlier times, which had since been supplanted by subsequent discoveries and enlightenment. However, she wasn't quick-thinking enough for that.)

The HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT...

It was Saturday night, March 5th 1966, and one of my Aunts was visiting.  As she chatted away with my mother, I watched an episode of The AVENGERS entitled The HOUSE That JACK BUILT.  I always remembered it for some reason (especially the name), perhaps because it was an intriguing, tense, psychological thriller, with EMMA PEEL trapped in an isolated, automated house in the country.

The imagery was entrancing, and remained in my mind for years afterwards.  Then, one night in the early or mid-'90s, it was repeated for, I think, perhaps the first time since its initial airing.  It stands up well, despite the continuity errors and an obviously burly man standing in for DIANA RIGG in some scenes.

Funnily enough, after posting the previous Babe of the Day photo of Diana, I noticed it was on TV, so I sat and watched it.  I think that's three times I've seen it again (I saw a repeat of it in between its '90s showing and tonight), and it's strange to think that although the subsequent times I've viewed the episode in the home in which I currently reside now outnumber my original '66 exposure to it, I still mainly associate it with the house, neighbourhood and era in which I lived back then.

Yes, you're right - this post is nothing but a self-indulgent wallowing in personal nostalgia, but I can't help myself.  Funny how some memories and associations are indelible, and can't be subdued, erased, or replaced, however many years may pass, or regardless of how many times we may re-experience something in a different place or period.

Jack built that house close to 50 years ago.  Odd to think that, in my mind at least, I'm sometimes still living in it.  Or is it living in me?  (Ooh, profound or what?)  Nice episode by the way - if you haven't seen it before and ever get the chance to watch it, don't deprive yourself of the opportunity to catch a classic.