HAVING A WEE HOLIDAY...

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I won't be able to do any new posts or answer comments for a few days.  See all you Crivvies on my return.  In the meantime, have a Bear Of The Day.  (I know you much prefer Yogi to women.)

THREE FANTASTIC FACSIMILES...

Copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

I was thinking of having some fun with you all by not mentioning that the above Beano #1 is a new facsimile edition and just leaving you to wonder whether I'd lucked out in locating an excellent condition original, but I resisted temptation.  It's stapled, instead of glued at the spine, but trust me - this is likely to be the best re-presentation of this iconic comic that will ever see the light of day.  It's so good, you won't ever need an original (which is not necessarily to be taken as an admission that I don't have one) and it's at a beano of a price, too.  (£16 inclusive of p&p - and it contains all 28 pages.)  Get over to eBay and type Beano #1 facsimile into its search box.

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Next up (above) is The Fantastic Four #3 Facsimile Edition and it does exactly what it says on the tin.  Indicia in the wrong place again and barcode still on the front cover, but it's still a nice little item to add to your collection, regardless of however many reprints you might already have of this tale.  Apparently, it's Marvel's intention to reissue the first dozen FF's, as well as #s 49-50 (the Galactus Trilogy), so start saving your shekels now, effendis.

Copyright DC COMICS

This one's a game-changer for DC, and I only hope that future facsimiles from them will maintain the same high standard.  Barcode discreetly placed on the back cover, high-quality newsprint-type paper, and - most important of all - every ad brand-spanking new-looking, not faded scans from published comics as in many previous DC facsimiles.  I wish Marvel would print their replicas on the same paper and put the barcodes on the back cover - then they really would be cooking with gas!  Well, watcha waiting for?  Buy 'em now!

SO WHO SCRIPTED FANTASTIC FOUR #1...?

In all three captions, past tense words have been amended
to present tense.  E.g., 'raised' to 'raises', 'flew' to 'fly' and
'flies', 'tried' to 'tries', etc.  Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Something has always niggled the back of my mind about Fantastic Four #1.  The writing, or to be more precise, the scripting.  It doesn't quite seem like Stan Lee's usual style and I wonder if Jack Kirby (or someone else) initially scripted it, only for Stan to redo some segments to imbue his 'voice' into it.  Sheer speculation on my part of course, but I've got to provide something for all you panting Crivvies to read, so I thought I'd indulge myself with this subject.

'Raced' to 'race', 'seized' to 'seizes', 'came' to 'come', 'blazed'
to 'blazes', 'melted' to 'melts'.  Note also the last 4 lines of the
end caption appear to have been altered, suggesting that the
story was perhaps originally intended for  a different mag

Stan normally scripted in the present tense, yet there are quite a few obvious examples of lettering amendments to transform past tense words into present tense ones.  Some past tense words remain in an earlier segment of the tale, but that's a flashback so it's entirely appropriate to have done so.  Take a look at the following examples and see what you think.  The amendments are pretty obvious so I won't spell them all out (except in the 'footnotes') as there's no point in overkill, but I can't help but wonder exactly what happened in this instance.

The 'eyes' have it!  Have what?  Don't seem to have their heads in panel 3

FF #1 is a peculiar issue as it's filled with contrived introductions of the four characters and inconsistences in the art.  For example, Reed has two left hands in one panel (not shown, but see here), and Ben Grimm's attire switches from peaked cap and windcheater-type jacket in a couple of panels (above) to slouch hat and overcoat in others (below).  Note also that in the third panel of the above tier, there's no room for the monster's three heads behind the eyes - it's almost as though they're disembodied and floating in mid air. 

Note Ben has four fingers and a thumb in panel 1, and it's unclear whether a finger has been
added to his right hand in panel 3.  And his left thigh seems far too thin in the middle panel

Am I perhaps being too pernickety, Crivvies?  Then be sure to tell me so in the comments section.  (Incidentally, the lettering amendments will be more noticeable if you click on the images to enlarge and study them.)

ROLL UP, ROLL UP - FF FREEBIE (AGAIN)...

You may remember me wittering on about POWER RECORDS some years back, and their Comicbook and record set of The FANTASTIC FOUR #126 ("The WAY It BEGAN!")  Well, rather than wear out the record by playing it, in 2014 I transferred the audio on to my computer and thence to CD, clever chappie that I am.  I even copied the record label to provide one for the disc, and I'm well-chuffed with it.

Now, here's the good news (maybe).  I did a few trial and error runs on getting the label just as I wanted it and therefore have excess copies of the disc - four to be precise.  If you'd like a free copy, just leave your name and address in the comments section - don't worry, I won't publish them - and I'll send you a copy at my own expense.  Also, your details won't be passed on to anyone and will be deleted from my files once I've addressed the jiffy bag.

The disc contains two versions of the record - the original one, plus one with the page bleeps edited out (no gaps) so that it sounds like a radio play.  If you've bought the mag, but have long-since lost the record, here's a chance to replace it with a brand-spanking new CD.  It's also been processed to reduce the record crackle, so it probably sounds better than you've ever heard it before.  So, it really is that simple - if you want a copy, just let me know.  Remember  though - it's first come, first served, so better be quick!  (UK Crivs only, I'm afraid.)

******

To reiterate - there really is no catch, hidden or otherwise.  Your name and address won't be used for any other purpose, won't be shared or passed on to any other parties, and won't be stored by me for future use in relation to anything else.  I delete the info right after I address the envelope.  Honest, you have absolutely nothing to lose and a free CD to gain.

(Update: All now gone, alas.  You were too slow!)

The FORGOTTEN BIRTHDAY CARD...

Regular readers may remember me mentioning living down in Southsea in Portsmouth for 3-4 months back in 1981.  I was there in response to the invitation from a friend to visit him for an indefinite stay, but when I got there he stayed well-clear, and apart from me seeing him for around 10 minutes at his naval base (HMS Vernon) the day after my arrival, and again for maybe 15-20 minutes in a canteen at Haslar Hospital in Gosport the week before I returned home, the only other time our paths crossed was when I spotted him by chance on his Moped one day and waved him down for a few minutes of chat.

His birthday was on February 17th so I'd bought him a card, but held on to it assuming I'd see him before his 'big day' and give it to him in person - alas, 'twas not to be.  (I'd arrived in Southsea towards the end of January and purchased the card at the start of February.)  Like I said, things didn't pan out that way, but it's just as well I didn't post it because he wouldn't have received it anyway as he was no longer living in navy married quarters (as I learned when I last saw him), but either on the base in Gosport or HMS Vernon.  I never spoke to him again and only learned in September of 2023 that he died in January of 2013.

As for the birthday card, it came home with me and lay forgotten in a box for 44 years, but I recently thought of a way whereby it could finally fulfil its purpose (sort of) by placing it on my mantlepiece in February of this year.  Sure, its intended recipient never got to see it, but I felt kind of sorry for it and wanted it to have its moment of 'glory' by being the object of attention in my living-room on the date it would've celebrated back in 1981.  This way, things have come full circle (again, sort of) and the forgotten card at long last has done what it was purchased for so many decades ago.  That's a happy ending (sort of), isn't it?

THE GREATEST RACE OF ALL TIME! (Except for when me and wee Jimmy Jones raced to see who'd reach the bathroom first before wetting ourselves.)

Copyright DC COMICS

I don't know why I do it, but I do!  I've already got the original version of this new Facsimile Edition of Superman Vs. The Flash, but simply had to have this one when I saw it was available.  Enjoy the few images on display here, then run out and buy one for yourself.  You can hug it, and love it, and call it George - or any other name you like, though personally, I'll continue to call it Superman Vs. The Flash, 'cos I'm not a weirdo.  Did you have this issue back in the day?  Feel free to share your thoughts and memories of it in our ever-lovin' comments section.  (Incidentally, it also contains some pages of Neal Adams artwork, but you'll have to buy your very own copy to see them.)  Did you hear what I said, McS?  NEAL ADAMS!

WE ARE ABOUT TO LAUNCH - STINGRAY...

Copyright relevant owner

Those of a certain age (as in decrepit old farts like me) may well remember the above ad (drawn by Ron Embleton) for the Stingray inflatable which appeared in TV Century 21 - and maybe even other comics as well, back in the '60s.  I always assumed it was a buoyancy aid to help keep kids afloat in the swimming pool or the sea, but there's actually no mention of that in the ad, so perhaps it was simply intended as a 'toy' so that kids could play at being Stingray.  Will we ever know?  Do we even care?

Anyway, subconsciously, I guess I fancied this piece of merchandise in my youth, so when the chance to obtain one recently presented itself, I took the plunge (figuratively speaking - no jumping off diving boards for me) and bought it.  I haven't inflated it and may never do, but there it is below laid out on my carpet for your perusal, followed by some of the seller's pics of the item in its inflated state.

Completely useless to me of course as I'd never fit in it, and it'll probably live in a box somewhere for the rest of it days.  However, considering I never owned one way back when, it's strangely still nice to have after all this time.  Anything you ever wanted (or wouldn't have minded) but never had when you were much younger, Crivvies, that you'd love to own today?  The comments section awaits your valued contributions so kindly get typing!

DAREDEVIL #1 FACSIMILE EDITION...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Another nice new Facsimile Edition that every true Marvel fan should have, so buy yours while they're available and before they shoot up in price on eBay.  Would've been better with the barcode box on the back cover (same as DC) and as you can see below, the indicia is in the wrong place as it would've been under the ad on the inside cover when originally published back in the '60s (hence the space under the ad next to the splash page)*.  That aside, it's still worth having, but I can't help but wish they'd print it on a high quality newsprint paper (again, like DC) as opposed to the slightly glossy paper they use.  At least they've included the 'Continued After Next Page...' lines, which help capture the feel of the period.  Can't wait 'til they do Journey Into Mystery #83.

(*Incidentally, Marvel eventually moved the indicia to under the splash page in their mags, but at this time it was still placed under the interior cover ad.) 

And look below - my original copy of issue #1, and below that, both issues side-by-side.

DRAMA VERSUS COMMON SENSE - IS IT WORTH THE SWAP...?

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Sometimes common sense has to be ignored for the purpose of drama.  For example, remember when James Bond chases a fleeing bad guy up some kind of crane in Casino Royale when all he really had to do was wait for him to come down at some point and capture him then?  Wouldn't have been as dramatic or exciting though, would it, and it could be argued that Bond was so caught up in the chase that he wasn't thinking clearly when he continued the pursuit and placed his own life in extreme danger by doing so.

Same goes for comics.  Take Fantastic Four #1 as another example, where Reed Richards fires a flare gun into the sky to capture the attention of his teammates.  Why not just use the little walkie-talkies of the kind that the Invisible Girl uses in issue 4, instead of seemingly causing a panic among the populace by a smoke-message?  (And would three English words in the sky really start rumours of an alien invasion - according to one cop - within seconds of the group's name appearing?  Even accepting that aliens might be suspected, it would take time for rumours to spread and the cops to hear about them, surely?)

Then we cut to Susan Storm, taking tea with a society friend.  Why doesn't she simply say she has to leave instead of turning invisible?  The short answer is to show the readers what her power is, but it's kind of contrived.  Then she makes things difficult for herself by pushing through a crowd while still invisible.  Surely if she could be seen, people would get out of her way and not inadvertently impede her, but this doesn't seem to occur to her.

And why not turn visible when she gets into the stationary cab/taxi?  The driver must've heard the door open and close and known he had a passenger, and it makes no sense that Sue would trust to sheer chance he'd go anywhere near where she wanted to - or decide to 'cruise' for a fare at precisely that moment.  Jack Kirby obviously intended that the driver was aware he had a hire and it was purely the fact that the money seemed suspended in mid-air that surprised him, not that he didn't know someone was in his cab.  Perhaps an example of a 'failure to communicate' between Stan Lee and Jack for which the 'Marvel Method' became famous.

We next turn our attention to Ben Grimm, standing inside a men's clothing store.  Despite his bulky form and him being swathed in a heavy overcoat, hat, and shades, he seems to have been able to enter the shop without difficulty.  When his attention is drawn to the flare, surely it would make more sense to exit as quietly and as (apparently) easily as he entered, instead of disrobing and crashing through the door frame and drawing unwanted attention to himself?  Of course it would, but this is a short-cut way of showing readers what The Thing looks like and what his 'schtick' is.

And what about that Johnny Storm - what an utter plonker!  He's sitting in a car, yet 'flames on' and reduces it to molten slag, with no regard for igniting the petrol/gasoline and possibly blowing his pals to kingdom come.  (He seems to have learned his lesson to some degree by the time issue 4 rolls around.)  Interestingly, in Stan's surviving two-page synopsis of the first issue, none of these details are present so it's likely that Jack was solely responsible for how each individual character was introduced.

These first half-dozen pages of FF #1 are utterly bereft of logic and common sense, but there are other failings throughout the rest of the mag which I'll leave for another time.  Sure, these liberties are taken for the purpose of creating dramatic impact and introducing the characters and their powers as quickly as possible, but does that excuse such 'shoddy' storytelling?  What do you think, readers?  Tell me and your fellow Crivvies and say how you would've handled this issue had you been responsible for producing it.

ADAM ETERNO: VOL. TWO - GRUNN THE GRIM...

Copyright REBELLION

Latest arrival at Castel Crivens, Volume Two of Treasury Of British Comics' Adam Eterno - Grunn The Grim, from the combined Lion & Thunder.  In his introduction, Chris Lowder says the following:

"Ironically, Thunder itself was a massive con from the start, since it was by no means built to last but created solely as a weekly that, after six months or so, would be merged into another paper (In Thunder's case Lion), thus boosting the latter's readership.  This neat trick had been practised by the Amalgamated Press/Fleetway/IPC since the 1900s and, in business terms, was usually highly effective."

Trouble with that is, it flies in the face of common sense.  Sure, no new comic was ever published without the knowledge it would be merged with another title if it failed to live up to expectations, but it is seriously unlikely that a new periodical would ever see the light of day without the hope that it would be a smash hit that would run for years.  Here's why: the sheer expense of launching a new comic was immense and usually took around two to three years to recoup its launch-costs, so going to all that time, trouble, and financial outlay simply isn't practical unless you have long-term aspirations for it.

A comic was usually only merged with another when its circulation was declining, so adding a shrinking readership to another comic may not have increased the circulation of the senior title by enough of a margin to make the financial investment worthwhile.  It would make far more sense to have given Lion a boost by a run of free gift issues and new characters, than go to the expense of launching a new comic for the purpose of boosting the sales of another a few months down the line.  After all, would the bigwigs really risk that approach, knowing that a new comic could be a dud from the start?  Very much doubt it.

Anyway, this looks like a great book and I can't wait until I have a surge in energy so that I can settle down to reading it - I therefore heartily recommend it in advance.

BABE Of The DAY - KATE UPTON...

What more could we ask for, Crivvies,

than a Babe in a bikini on a beach?  And do

you see the way she's gazing at me?  I can tell

that she positively adores me - and who could

possibly blame her?  She knows a real man

when she sees one, sure enough.

TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ONE MIGHTY MAGAZINE...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Managed to obtain (at huge expense) a brilliant condition issue of The Fantastic Four #1 recently.  Good as the Marvel Facsimile Editions are, it's better to have these early strips printed on good old-fashioned newsprint paper (like this one), don't you think?  Incidentally, I see that Marvel is reissuing a facsimile of FF #1 yet again sometime in May, and if the photos are accurate in the listings I've seen, there's no barcode box on the front cover.  (That's it below.)

So here's a question for you, Crivvies - what's the one comic you don't own that you'd love to add to your collection above all others?  The comments section awaits thee so don't be shy now.

TO BE HE, OR NOT TO BE HE? THAT IS THE QUESTION...

I see a once moderately-popular comics writer has announced he's 'transitioning' and becoming a woman.  His business, although as he's insisted on sharing the news with the world (or at least his fans and followers on his blog and FB site), then perhaps I'll be forgiven for wondering about a few things pertaining to his situation (and that of others like him).

Does this mean that his life up to now has been a lie?  Is his openly admitted long-suffered depression a result of him agonising over the years about which gender to identify with?  Does his wife and children feel betrayed in discovering that he's not quite the 'man' they thought he was?  As he's in his 70s, wouldn't he be better just continuing whatever time he has left as he is, instead of facing such a life-changing event in old age?  Or is it, as one commenter speculated, merely a publicity stunt to draw attention to himself and his plans to write a trans character comicbook?  Time will tell, I guess.

I know of someone who transitioned, and without me giving any clues as to who it is, they give a strong indication of now regretting ever having done so.  My own belief (for what it's worth) is that compulsions to change genders are more than likely as a result of some form of mental illness, and should be treated as such and not indulged.  Some people think they're John The Baptist, or Napoleon, or some other character from history, and some people think they were born into the wrong body.  Shouldn't they all be regarded as different manifestations of the same psychological disorder?

What bothers me somewhat is the willingness of others to welcome this sort of decision as though it's a wonderful thing, rather than a worrying symptom of an underlying medical condition.  The very thought of losing the 'little chap' fills me with horror and I simply can't wrap my mind around anyone deciding to willingly divest themselves of their own lifelong companion.  It actually makes me feel queasy.

The writer is known for being quite an angry person, who has no truck with anyone who doesn't see things as he does.  (Admittedly, though, this may only be a blog persona he adopts to conceal a sensitive side, which he'd prefer not to reveal.)  Once he's past the point of no return, will he be a nicer, kinder, more polite individual than he often appears to be?  Again, time will tell.

My own advice, which he wouldn't countenance for a second, would be "Don't do it!" and that advice would be the same for anyone in his situation, so I'm not picking on him.  I just hope that, should his current thinking be down to some psychological delusion, he'll come to his senses before it's too late.  He appears to believe in God, so to paraphrase the sentiments of the late comedian Dave Allen, may his God go with him!   

ACTION COMICS #1050 - ALEX ROSS VARIANT...

Copyright DC COMICS

Do you know what I love?  (Aside from Susan Storm, Salma Hayek, and myself - though not necessarily in that order.)  New versions of classic comicbook covers, such as this one by Alex Ross of Action Comics #1, which recently arrived at Castel Crivens.  I couldn't recall whether I already owned it or not, but decided not to take any chances (when I spied it on eBay) in case I didn't and it suddenly shot up in price.  I've browsed the contents and they seem interesting, so hopefully I'll enjoy reading it when I eventually get around to it.

Do you like this sort of thing, Crivs?  Then say so in our comments section.

******

And do you know what I hate?  (Aside from pompous, pretentious posers, and [sometimes] myself - though again, not necessarily in that order.)  A third of a comics page being given over to credits that few people are even going to read.  Bring back traditional splash pages to comics is what I say - and do it right away!

Let's now take a look at another new version of a classic comicbook cover (below), again by Alex Ross.  Lovely, innit?  Y'know, the boy's not a bad artist - what think the rest of you?

The FANTASTIC FOUR #2 FACSIMILE EDITION (Updated)...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Here's one I meant to show you last week - The Fantastic Four #2 Facsimile Edition.  Indicia in the wrong place (should be under the inside cover's ad), though it's got the 'Continued After Next Page' lines, which adds to its 'archival authenticity'.  Here's a few images to whet your appetite Crivvies - it'll look good sitting next to your facsimile of FF #1.  I wish Marvel would do FEs of all the Lee/Kirby FF issues - that'd be awesome.

At the story's end, one of the Skrulls disappears, meaning Jack perhaps intended him to have died when his rocket-pack exploded after colliding with Johnny, or a page was omitted for reasons of space.  If the former, maybe Stan wanted to avoid casualties, hence there being no reference to any demise.  Four Skrulls are shown tied up in one panel, but unless a page was cut, one Skrull might've been added by another hand to make up the numbers, before Stan decided just to explain the absentee with a hastily-contrived (and inadequate) remark from Reed.  

Below is the cover as it was originally drawn and lettered, before being amended for publication at the behest of Stan (in all probability).  It's likely that the production stat of this (uncoloured) version of the cover was used to re-create the appearance of the published version for reprints years later, with a couple of things being inadvertently overlooked in the process.

Namely, when the blurbs and speech balloons were deleted, part of the tail of Johnny's was missed and some floorboard lines were overlooked when the floor was 'lowered'.  (Where are the proofreaders when you need 'em?)  Though it's possible the original '60s altered cover stat was used (if it survived) and some process white had cracked and dropped off in the intervening years, but to reiterate, I suspect its a re-creation utilising an unaltered stat of the initial version.

And below is the facsimile cover after I've applied a little smattering of digital technology to remove the 'extended' floorboards and the balloon tail.  My talent knows no bounds.  (Or should that be my bounds know no talent?)  Aside from the price, barcode, and Marvel logo, this is how the cover looked when originally published.

BABE Of The DAY - CATWOMAN...

Copyright DC COMICS

Yeah, only a 'drawing', but she sure is a hottie!

The UNTOLD LEGEND Of The BATMAN...

Copyright DC COMICS

Here's a 'little' beauty that's just been delivered into my eager mitts - The Untold Legend Of The Batman.  I have the original 3-issue series from 1980 (which is how long I've owned it), a standard-size paperback book containing all three stories, and an audio dramatization with reprints of the original comics, but with cardboard covers.  And now I've got a 'treasury size' limited edition for good measure.

What's interesting about it is that it doesn't appear to be a facsimile of a previously published Special, it's more of a 'what if' presentation - y'know, like a 'Lost Annual'.  Some ads from the period are included, but they're likely taken from other '80s mags and included here to give it a touch of authenticity.  Anyway, allow me to show you some pictures from it... and once you've savoured them, feel free to comment.