TRUE BELIEVERS - IRON MAN...

Doomquest...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

I remember the day well.  It was a sunny afternoon sometime in 1981 and I was in Glasgow with a visiting pal, up from where he now lived in England to see his in-laws who yet resided in my home town.  So while his wife spent time with her parents, me and Bob Billens (name changed, though it was a double 'B') nipped into the 'dear green place' for a jaunt.  Bob had worked as a summer assistant in my town's central library when I was a full-time employee there in 1979, and that's how we'd met.  He, like myself, was also a comics geek, though he preferred DC to Marvel.

Anyway, we were near Howard Street, so I directed Bob's attention to a huge board I'd fairly recently signwritten which adorned the side of a building close by.  Then we nipped into a newsagent's opposite and I bought The Invincible Iron Man #150, which I still have to this very day.  Now, 40 years on, I finally got the chance to read the preceeding issue when the True Believers reprint of #149 popped through my letterbox this morning.  I suppose it's fitting that the two issues involve time travel, as my mind returned 40 years into the past to the day that two pals with the same pastime enjoyed a carefree saunter 'round the city for a couple of hours.

A mere 5 or 6 years later, Bob apparently decided that our long-distance friendship was surplus to his requirements, presumably having made so many new pals in England that he considered the effort of maintaining contact with me an unnecessary exercise, so he simply stopped keeping in touch.  He'd become a bit of a social climber, like Bob Ferris in the TV show Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads, and I think he'd come to regard me as the Scottish version of Terry Collier and therefore a bit of an embarrassment to his imagined new status down south.

So, sadly, turned into a bit of a pr*ck, did Bob, but, regardless, I can't help but smile fondly at the memory of our friendship, before it finally faded like the colours of a parted petal, bleached by the radiating rays of the summer sun.  But enough of such sentimental b*ll*cks - if you see this mag on sale anywhere, grab it while you can.  It's been out for a month or more, but it's well-worth having.  Meanwhile, having read #149, I'm now off to re-read #150, so that I can immerse myself in the 2 part story in sequential order - almost 40 years after the fact.

THE LAW IS AN ASS...

And here are 22 examples that prove it...

A few years back, one of my pals gave me a copy of what purported to be questions actually asked by attorneys during trials, and, in some cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses, as recorded in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers' Journal.  I thought I'd share them with you here and give you all a laugh.

******

1)   "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

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2)   "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

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3)   "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

******

4)   "Were you alone or by yourself?"

******

5)   "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

******

6)   "Did he kill you?"

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7)   "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

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8)   "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

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9)   "How many times have you committed suicide?"

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10)   Q:  "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"

             A:  "Yes."

             Q:  "And what were you doing at that time?"

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11)   Q:  "She had 3 children, right?"

            A:  "Yes."

            Q:  "How many were boys?"

            A:  "None."

            Q:  "Were there any girls?"

******

12)   Q:  "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"

             A:  "Yes."

             Q:  "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

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13)   Q:  "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"

             A:  "I went to Europe, sir."

             Q:  "And you took your new wife?"

******

14)   Q:  "How was your first marriage terminated?"

             A:  "By death."

             Q:  "And by whose death was it terminated?"

******

15)    Q:  "Can you describe the individual?"

              A:  "He was about medium height and had a beard."

              Q:  "Was this a male, or a female?"

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16)    Q:  "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"

              A:  "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

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17)    Q:  "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"

             A:  "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

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18)    Q:  "All your responses must be oral, okay?  What school did you go to?"

              A:  "Oral."

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19)     Q:  "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"

               A:  "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."

               Q:  "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"

               A:  "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

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20)     Q:  "You were not shot in the fracas?"

                A:  "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

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21)     Q:  "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"

              A:  "I have been since early childhood."

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22)    Q:  "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

              A:  "No."

              Q:  "Did you check for breathing?"

              A:  "No."

              Q:  "So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

              A:  "No."

              Q:  "How can you be so sure, doctor?"

              A:  "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

              Q:  "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

              A:  "It is possible that he could still have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

AT LAST - The GENUINE ARTICLE...

 One Together Is Two...

Copyright relevant owner

Finally!  I recently managed to obtain an original Golden Record of the Laurel & Hardy theme song from Larry Harmon's animated '60s TV show.  Regular readers may recall that I recorded the song from YouTube some months back and made my own cd to replace the single I had as a kid.  (Well, it wasn't actually 'mine' - it must've been acquired by either my father or brother, but I played it more often than them.)

 

There were different versions of this record, though the content is the exact same in all of them.  I believe it was first released in America in 1963 as a 78 rpm 6 inch record (yellow vinyl), as well as in Britain by Goldentone Records (orange vinyl, also 6 inch).  At some stage, the US single also became available as a 45 rpm 7 inch single (black vinyl), which is the one pictured above.  (I scanned the sleeve with the single still in it, which is why you can see the shape of the record.)

The one I had as a kid was orange vinyl, and if it ever shows up on eBay, I'll buy it if I can, but in the meantime I'm just happy to have an 'official' recording of the song.  Actually, I probably prefer 45 rpm for a single, and the sleeve isn't radically different to the Goldentone one, so I won't be too disappointed if the original remains beyond my grasp.  One look at the cover and I'm once more a child on the living-room carpet, sat in front of our old wooden cabinet record player, singing along to this humorous ditty.

Just to remind you all in case you missed it before, below is what the Goldentone one looked like, along with the cd I made for myself.

The AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #101 FACSIMILE EDITION...

A Monster Called... MORBIUS!

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

I know I've already got at least one individual reprint of this mag (maybe two), not counting collected editions that include the tale, but it's great to have a facsimile which contains all the original ads and letters page.  I've only had a cursory glance through it since it arrived on Saturday morning, but it looks good to my tired old eyes, with no faults that I can detect at a casual glance.  If you're a Spider-Man or Morbius fan, why not give yourself a treat and buy this classic as soon as you can?!  Even if you've got the original or a previous reprint, it's always good to have a spare.

WEDNESDAY'S BABE Of The DAY...

The stunning, stupendous, and sultry Sybil Danning...

Sybil isn't only stunning, she's also

creative.  Look at the sexy little number

she crafted from a black bin liner.  Beauty

and brains - what a combo!  Looks like she

was poured into it, so she must've melted

on sight of my manly-man handsomeness.

(Hey, you think writing these captions

 is easy?!  Try it yourselves!)

JOHN BYRNE'S ALPHA FLIGHT COVER & IMAGE GALLERY PART THREE...

Alpha Flight is now landing...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Question: How can you think you're in a room, yet not be in that room, while at the same time not be in the room that you're actually in?  Confused?  Don't worry, you will be.  Kidding aside, the answer is actually rather simple.  Y'see, I've been re-reading my Alpha Flight mags for the first time since buying them back in 1983/'84.  I had just moved into a new house at the time and, naturally enough, I associate them with that house and, in particular, the room in which I read them.  That association is so strong that even though I'm fully and consciously aware of my surroundings in my present house as I read, there's something in my subconscious that 'tells' me I'm still in the room I originally read them.  Weird or what?

I don't know whether this feeling is unique to me, or if other people have also experienced it.  I've mentioned before how, on completion of re-reading a comic that I first read in a former house, when I lift my eyes from its pages, I'm momentarily surprised to find that I'm not in the room where I first read it.  Does that sound familiar to anyone?  Has anyone else ever felt that strange sense of momentary displacement under similar circumstances?  No?  Oh, well, guess I'm just bonkers then!  However, if any of you cavortin' Crivvies have ever experienced the same sensation - even for the briefest of nano-seconds - let me know so that I can reassure myself that it's a natural 'phenomenon' and that I'm not just prone to hallucinations.

Anyway, such philosophical ponderings aren't the main reason why I've invited you here, fascinating as they may be.  Nope, we're here to appreciate part three of John Byrne's covers and splash pages to his Alpha flight series from back in the '80s.  Well, to be more precise, you're here to appreciate them as I've already done so while preparing them for your perusal.  I'm really only here to read you telling me how great I am for sharing these pulse-pounding piccies with you entirely for free!  So no hanging about - appreciate away, then leave a comment saying what a wonderful, unselfish guy I am.  We all know it's a lie, but I won't mind if you don't.

Well, what are you waiting for?  Time starts now...  (Incidentally, for Part One, click here, and for Part Two, click here.)

THAT'S A LOAD OF OLD BULL, JOHN...

 And you can put it in print...

Before we look at the third and final part of John Byrne's Alpha Flight Cover & Splash Page Gallery, let's take a slight detour and cop a gander at something I acquired recently to replace the original one I had back in the '60s.  Namely, the John Bull Printing Outfit.  I say 'I' had, but 'twas actually my father who brought it home one day, possibly bought from Glasgow's famous Barras market.

To be honest, though I said the '60s, there's a chance it wasn't obtained until the start of the '70s, which is when I remember using it to name-stamp my comics, though it could have lain dormant for a year or two before I pressed it into service.  Into a single-tier red plastic holder, I carefully set my name - G. ROBSON (it only had upper case) - and stamped the top right-hand corner (from my pov) with my awesome (in my mind anyway) appellation.

One of my pals at the time was in hospital with a broken leg, and I remember taking up a pile of my old comics for him one day during visiting hour.  Imagine my surprise when, weeks or months later, I saw some of them in a cardboard box in my local newsagent's, marked at half price.  One of the comics was the first combined issue of Valiant & Smash!, and there was my printed name on the cover.  I'm still not quite sure how they ever got there.

When we moved house in 1972, my stamp was again utilised to mark my Mighty World Of Marvels, but eventually I gave up on the practice.  For years afterwards, little rubber letter blocks and red holders could be found at the back of the drawer of my father's writing bureau, reminding me of earlier times.  The bureau moved into my bedroom in the early '80s, but whether any rubber letters still inhabited its confines prior to that point, or whether they had been cleared out long before, is lost to the mists of history.

As you can see from the photos, I now have two sets - No. 8 and No. 12, the smaller of them being (I think) the one we owned originally.  The two were sold on eBay as one item, which is the only reason I bought the pair.  Interestingly (to me anyway), the writing bureau yet resides in my bedroom, and I may well decide, space allowing, to store them in its single drawer, which my original set called home for many years.

Time has been reset to an earlier period once more, and things are yet again as they used to be - well, at least in regard to John Bull and my father's writing bureau.  (Incidentally, I remember the day the bureau was delivered to our first house in the town, around 60 years ago.  That's some amount of correspondence it's seen written in that time, I'd imagine.)

Anyway, do you remember having a John Bull Printing Outfit when you were a kid, and if so, what did you think of it?  Share your personal reminiscences in the Crivvies comments section.  After all, that's what it's there for.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE GONE...?

Long time passing...

September 1967 - I'm in 2nd back row.  4 dead, 7 moved or emigrated that I know of

It's strange, but when no great changes have taken place in your own life, you tend to subconsciously assume that none will have occurred in the lives of anybody else you know - unless, that is, you've been specifically informed to the contrary.  To me, who's never moved away from my home town, I'm always surprised to learn that some people emigrated abroad or flitted to other parts of the country decades ago, as I just assume they're still around - even if I haven't seen them in some time.  I may think it's been months since I last saw them, then find out it's been years.  In fact, some of them moved to pastures new a whole other century ago.

I just learnt tonight that someone who lived not too far from my former house (and was also in my primary school class) has lived in Sweden since 1986 - around 35 years.  Steven Ferguson is his name, and the last time I recall seeing him was back in the late '70s.  If I ever saw him after that, I just don't remember.  There are others, too, who I didn't know had left the town in which they grew up until decades after the fact, and it's an odd feeling to think that people you thought were 'still out there' not too far distant, now live on the other side of the country or the world.  Either way, I'm unlikely to bump into them any time soon.  (If ever.)

I suppose there are still plenty of people I used to know who yet gad about the local environs, but it's strange to consider that others, who were once so familiar to me, are unlikely to revisit the town in which they spent their formative years, and that I'll never see them again between now and Doomsday.  And then there are those who have died.  Covid-19 has already claimed one former neighbour and classmate, and I just learned today that one of my friends has tested positive, so obviously I'm hoping that he comes through it okay.  Although it wouldn't have occurred to me when I was younger, I think a lot of people regard those they knew in their youth as kind of an 'extended family', and when they're no longer around either in body or in spirit, we feel 'diminished' to some degree.

I'm not really one for reunions, but I sometimes think I might not mind one that brought together everyone I knew from the age of, say, 5 to - I dunno - 30, just to see them one more time and reminisce about our youth.  The faint (and by no means compulsive) 'appeal' of such a prospect fades even further, however, when I think of all those who have departed this mortal vale and would be unable to attend - except perhaps in spirit.  I'm not sure it would be the same unless everyone was there.

Stirred any thoughts, fellow Crivvies?  Is there anyone you've not seen in years who you wouldn't mind catching up with for at least one more chin-wag?  If so, feel free to express yourself in the comments section.    

SPLODGE, LAST OF THE GOBLINS...

People say I'm so ugly, I should wear a mask - so here it is... 

Copyright D.C. Thomson & Co., Ltd

This is mainly the same post as one first published in December 2019, though it's been revised and updated to include new information of an event that happened only recently.  So if it seems familiar to regular readers, that's why.  This time it has a happy ending, so give it a read and rejoice with me in my celebrations.

 ******

I couldn't say with absolute certainty when I first bought #924 of The Topper, because a comic's cover date can be confusing.  Some comics were dated the week after they went on sale (to give them a longer shelf-life), some maybe only 3 or 4 days - or were they?  Some, like The Topper, might say 'every Thursday' on the cover, but (though I don't know in regard to The Topper itself) come out before then, so being absolutely sure of precisely what day a periodical hit the shops can be a bit of a problem so many decades after the fact.

Presumably, the Splodge, Last Of The Goblins glow mask was intended for Hallowe'en, but it was a bit early.  Or maybe it wasn't meant for All Hallow's Eve at all, and the mask and the celebration were just coincidental, though it seems to me unlikely.  Looking back, I at first thought, in memory, that I was yet a primary school pupil when I bought this comic, but I'd actually been attending secondary school for around a couple of months - certainly several weeks.

I wonder if I was off school that day due to some minor ailment, because I remember lying in bed after purchasing the comic, fascinated by Splodge's luminous goblin features.  I'd have been across to the shops over the road for just after 8 a.m. to buy The Topper (so I must've known about the free gift in advance), unless, despite saying every Thursday on the cover, it actually went on sale on a Saturday.  (Anyone know for sure?)  Or maybe I was buying another comic and spotted it by chance.  I don't suppose it matters, and I know you probably don't care, but I would've once been able to recall every detail.  Age, alas.

Anyway, the mask came up for auction recently, and I bid on it and won.  It's taken me over 50 years to acquire a replacement for my original, and even though it was a wee bit expensive for what is, essentially, a piece of card, the memories it renews and refreshes are worth the price.  Last time, my image of the mask was borrowed, this time it's my very own.  Surprisingly, it still glows in the dark, which I didn't expect, thinking its ability to do so would've faded over time.  I've included a pic of it glowing away, which I took on 'idiot-proof' mode on my camera, but as you can see from the result, I'm not even smart enough to use it in that setting.

Splodge was a great wee strip, drawn by Charles Grigg originally, and then later by Ken H. Harrison.  I suspect I didn't read The Hobbit until after this issue came out (though it could've been before), because I always imagined Bilbo Baggins as looking a lot like Splodge (despite Tolkien's illustrations), but perhaps that was a retroactive impression.  I wish The Beano would reprint the strips, 'cos I'd buy it if they did.

Ah, Splodge - how have you been all these years?  Good to have you back.

 

This is from a different ish, but still a belter

FRIDAY'S BABE Of The DAY...

The voluptuous Valerie Perez...

Now this is the way to get more people to use the

subway.  Thing is, with Valerie aboard, nobody would

ever want to get off at their station before she did.

FLINTMOBILE Or FLIVVER...?

I may have the answer...

Here's a great little 1:50 scale collectable I received today, a Hotwheels Elite One 'toy' by Mattel.  (Incidentally, anyone else noticed that the Post Office now spells 'collectables' the American way - 'collectibles'?)  Strictly speaking, it's not really a toy, it's too good for that, but kids would be able to play with it I suppose, while adult collectors would simply appreciate it as a thing of aesthetic beauty that reminds them of their childhood.

But why's it called a Flintmobile?  I always understood that its name was a Flivver, which is the way merchandise of the car was described in the '60s.  I might have a plausible explanation.  See the two pics of the box at the foot of this post?  On the front illustration, the car is a single-row seater, whereas on the back, it's morphed into a double row, family-sized seater.  Same thing happened in the TV show.

Now, the most obvious explanation is that this was simply a result of the car being drawn to suit different scenarios.  If it was only Fred, or Fred and Barney, for the sake of expediency it would be drawn as a single-row seater; if it was the full Flintstone family, or a combination of the Flintstones and the Rubbles, it was rendered as a double-row seater to accommodate them.  In short, it was whatever it needed to be to suit the situation.

However, another possible explanation is that the Flintstones have two cars of a similar design - one (the Flintmobile) for Fred or Wilma to gad about in, and another, larger, family model (the Flivver) for when they do their weekly shopping or go to the 'drive-in' along with Pebbles and Dino.  Having said that, my Marx Toys Flinstone Flivver from the '60s only has a single-row seat, but that might purely be down to Marx wanting to save on tin.

Yeah, I know - I'm overthinking things again, aren't I?  Anyway, did you watch The Flintstones TV show when you were a kid, and was it your all-time favourite Hanna-Barbera cartoon?  If not, what was?  Be sure to let all your fellow Crivvies know.