SPECTRE - HAVE BOND MOVIES GIVEN UP THE GHOST?

Watched SPECTRE on Blu-Ray at a friend's house last week and was bored witless.  My pal fell asleep through it, which surely says a lot about the state of the JAMES BOND movies these days.  I still can't quite make up my mind about DANIEL CRAIG.  He's good in the fight scenes, but lacks the suaveness and sophistication that SEAN CONNERY, ROGER MOORE, and PIERCE BROSNAN brought to the role.  He's also clearly not tall enough to play 007, which means he'd certainly never have got the part if CUBBY BROCCOLI had still been alive.  Cubby had a thing about the actor physically embodying the role, so they had to be around 6' 1", 6' 2".

And what's with the cocky walk and the standing with his legs four feet apart that Craig does?  His predecessors had a confident stride, whereas Craig swaggers like a playground bully.  And why in blazes he was wearing a suit that looked at least two sizes too small in Spectre I'll never know.  He was given short shrift when it was first annouced he'd been awarded the part of Bond, due to the fact he wore a life-jacket on a trip up the Thames.  "What a wimp," cried his critics, "James Bond would never wear a life-jacket!"  Funny that the group of Royal Marines who were with him and also wearing life-jackets escaped such comments.  Or maybe not - after all, who's going to call a Royal Marine a wimp?  (Outside of someone with a death-wish or who likes hospital food I mean.)

However, it must be admitted that Craig's three Bond movies after CASINO ROYALE failed to live up to it.  SKYFALL was a hit because of the sense of expectation for Bond's 50th year, but after its action-packed pre-credits sequence, it was a bit of a yawn, let's be honest.  The fans deserve better.

So is it time for a new actor to play 007?  Someone who's tall, handsome, sophisticated and who doesn't look out of place in a tux?  Well, modesty prevents me from recommending myself for the part, but Craig's time may well be coming to an end.  Who do you think should be the next Bond... James Bond?  You know where the comments section is, Criv-ites chums.

This guy'd make a great Bond - even with
his invisible Walther PPK (or PPK/S)

"Bond... Kid Bond."  (Probably more a case of
"Bond?  Who are you trying to kid?")

CHILDHOOD CAPERS - CHAPTER THREE: The 'AMAZING' UNCLE WILLIE...

I used to have an uncle; nothing unusual about that - lots of folk have uncles.  I had more than one uncle of course, but it's one in particular I'm going to talk about today.  Let's call him Uncle Willie - mainly because that was his name.  Although, in the interests of historical accuracy, it behoves me to admit that I'm unsure whether he was an 'actual' uncle or merely an 'honorary' one, in that convenient bracket that older male relatives are placed when it's not known exactly what their title should be.  He never struck me as a very nice man to be frank, and he was eventually sectioned under the mental health act for beating up his wife - who, unsurprisingly, happened to be my aunt.  They were both quite elderly when all this was going on, which is all rather tragic I suppose.

I remember being through in Edinburgh with my family back in the late '60s, visiting one of my father's sisters (another aunt), and Uncle Willie and his wife were there too.  We all left at the same time and I remember Uncle Willie put his hand in his pocket and slipped some coins into the hands of my other aunt's kids.  I was surprised to see this act of generosity, because he'd never done that with me or my brother.  I liked him even less after that.

Uncle Willie was a bit of a blowhard.  Full of tall tales and unlikely stories designed to portray himself in the most flattering light.  Anything anyone else had ever done, he'd done first or done better - and sometimes even both.  He and his wife were visiting our house one night, and he took the opportunity to regale my brother and myself with tales of how fit he was and how he was able to expand his chest to nigh Olympian proportions.

He could see from our expressions that we remained unconvinced (nor were we much interested, truth be told) so he insisted on demonstrating his 'amazing ability'.  At first he stood in a stooped position with his chest as far back towards his spine as possible, then slowly stood up, thrusting his chest out as far as he could and, arching his back while leaning forward, attempted to create the impression that he'd achieved his stated goal.  When he was finished, he proudly announced:  "Mabel, I've just expanded my chest by 11 and a half inches!"  He hadn't of course, all he'd done is made a tit of himself.   We were too polite to say so, but we had a good laugh at him after he'd left.

I'm glad I've no nieces and nephews, because at least I know I can never be regarded with derision or disdain in the way that me and my brother discreetly regarded Uncle Willie.  So I suppose the moral of this story is that if you want your young relatives to be left with a good impression of you when you're gone, then you should avoid trying to impress them while you're here.

THE TV21 TIME MACHINE GOES BACK TO 1965 FOR SENTIMENT AND NOSTALGIA...

Copyright relevant owner

Here's a page from the 1965 TV CENTURY 21 SUMMER EXTRA, featuring an ad for a couple of Annuals, one of which I got for Christmas.  I also had the STINGRAY Annual, but I can't remember if I got it new at around the same time, or it was a later acquisition from a pal or a jumble sale.  I have a vague idea it was bought new though. I must have purchased the Summer Extra in June or July of '65, and I recall seeing a display of both Annuals in a shop called KRAZY KUTS in my local town centre from September on, while still living in the house my family would move from come November.

I didn't get either Annuals though, until I was living in our new house, so it's a bit strange to associate the covers and even some of the contents with both houses, even though, in the case of the former abode, it was only from looking through the books in the shop, and in the latter, from the comfort of an armchair (or sitting against one while sat on the carpet) in our new residence.

Krazy Kuts was a great shop (it was a CO-OP owned shop, if I recall correctly), and survived well into the '80s.  I replaced the Annuals a good number of years ago, and one glance at either one of them reminds be of two houses and a shop, and what a great time it was to be a child in the greatest decade of the 20th century.

This has been a completely self-indulgent, random, rambling reminiscence for no good reason that I can think of.

SUPERMAN COLOURING BOOK...

Image copyright DC COMICS

Thought you might like to see this cover from a SUPERMAN

colouring book from 1940, which is reminiscent of the cover of the

first ish of The MAN Of STEEL's own magazine.  Nice, innit?  Is

it just me, or does Superman look like a young BOB HOPE?

JASON And The ARGONAUTS TRAILER...

Now this is what I call a classic - JASON And

The ARGONAUTS.  Enjoy the trailer from 1963.

BABE Of The DAY - VERONICA CARLSON...

VERONICA CARLSON looks like

she could've played HONEY RIDER

in Dr. NO.  All she needs is a large knife

strapped to her thigh and she'd have given

URSULA ANDRESS a good run for her

 money.  Who'd you have bet on?

IF WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A WAR, AT LEAST LET'S BE CIVIL ABOUT IT...

Okay, you may've already seen this, but it's

too good not to show just in case you haven't.

RECOMMENDED READING: COMIC BOOK APOCALYPSE: THE GRAPHIC WORLD OF JACK KIRBY...

Copyright relevant owner

Much as it pains me to admit it, I can do no better at describing this book - a companion to an exhibition of JACK KIRBY art at California State University - than to quote from the spiel on the back cover: "COMIC BOOK APOCALYPSE... spotlights Kirby's art from the mid-'60s through the '70s - his most sublime and mind-bending work.  Illustrated with more than 100 images from such classic series as The FANTASTIC FOUR, The NEW GODS, and KAMANDI, and with a store of essays by artists, storytellers, and scholars, this book provides the insightful, in-depth commentary that Kirby has always deserved."  (Published by IDW.)

One thing to remember perhaps, is that Jack Kirby was a comicbook artist with no illusions about the nature of the work he produced.  From a quick read of one of the essays that accompanies the art, there seems to be a desire to impose a pretentious meaning or motivation to some images that can be nothing more than wishful-thinking on the part of the writer.  Thankfully, it's Jack's art which is the main attraction here, not the imaginative if-specious over-analysis by any of the 'scholars'.

You can buy this visual beauty from your local comicbook store right now.  Rush 'round right away!

BABE Of The DAY - CINDY CRAWFORD...

"Come over and lie beside me" said the

scintillating CINDY CRAWFORD - so I did!

I told her I was the greatest lover in the world.

 She sure won't hear a bigger lie than that!

KLASSIC KOMIC KOVERS: The AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

Originally drawn by STEVE DITKO for the cover of SPIDER-MAN's debut issue, AMAZING FANTASY #15 (but rejected by STAN LEE in favour of one by JACK KIRBY), this illo eventually fulfilled its destiny as a front cover (even if only as a variant) on the final ish of Spidey's own mag.  Ditko definitely drew his version first, because the speech balloons and cover blurb were photostatted, then pasted down on Kirby's incarnation of the cover.

******

Oh no, did it again.  Already featured this cover in this series, then forgot I'd done so.  The old memory is failing me over and over again lately - I'd better start keeping a scorecard.

BABE Of The DAY - WHAT'S 'ER NAME?

This is, er... what's 'er name again?

Tell you what, Crivvies - I'll let you know

who she is when I work my way up to her

face.  Fair enough?  (Ah, now I recognise

her - it's JORDAN CARVER.)

AM I THAT EASY TO FORGET...?

Here's velvet-voiced king of country crooners,

JIM REEVES, with a relaxing song to melt all your

troubles away.  I played this before, but it's a belter

worth repeating.  Headphones at the ready...

KLASSIC KOMIC KOVERS - The MIGHTY WORLD Of MARVEL #20..

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

A dramatic JIM STARLIN cover graces DAREDEVIL's debut in MWOM #20, cover-dated February 17th 1973.  Amazingly, 44 years later, DD is still appearing in the monthly incarnation of this very same title!  Here's a thing (no pun intended) though - how the heck did he manage to burst through that circular paper disc when The HULK and The THING are standing directly behind it ?  (Answers on a postcard...)

KLASSIC KIRBY KOMIC KOVERS: JOURNEY Into MYSTERY #95...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

You know that THOR can't fly, right?  That's to say, can't fly in the way that SUPERMAN can.  Goldilocks has to whirl his magic mallet, throw it in the direction he wants to go, and hang on to the thong so that he's pulled along after his uru hammer "...like the tail of a rocket!"  Yet in the tale in this ish, Thor and his doppelganger hurl their hammers at one another while in mid-air - without either one plummeting like a stone, the way they should if logic held sway.

Just thought I'd point that out.  Great cover though.

BABE Of The DAY - PENELOPE CRUZ...

Remember when PENELOPE CRUZ was

dating action man TOM CRUISE?  (I call him

'action man' because he's around the same height as

one.)  My town's local weekly newspaper once referred

to them as 'Mr. & Mrs. Tom Cruise'.  The pair weren't

married, and their surnames were both spelt differently,

demonstrating the reporting skills of my local journalists.

However, that's nothing to do with her being easy on

the eye, so feel entirely free to appreciate her out-

 standing natural beauty, just like I'm doing.

HAVE YOU GOT THE BUG? THIS'LL 'FLOOR' YOU...

One of the good things about being a kid is the way you can sprawl over the floor, reading your comics or playing with your toys.  When friends or relatives dropped in, the living-room chairs were occupied so there was no option but to plonk yourself on a spot on the carpet and amuse yourself the best way you could.  I can still remember playing with my metallic red MATCHBOX VOLKSWAGEN FLYING BUG (with a little German-helmeted driver at the wheel, and a Germanic flag on the bonnet), scudding it over the floor then retrieving it from under the card table.  (A table for playing cards, not one made of card.)

I also recall lying on the floor reading early '70s issues of The MIGHTY WORLD Of MARVEL and SPIDER-MAN COMICS WEEKLY while visiting relatives chatted away with my parents.  It was cooler on the floor as the air which slid under the door had a refreshing quality to it, and kept you from overheating when the electric fire was on.  One of the many things I regret about being a 'grown-up' (allegedly) is that society expects adults to behave with 'propriety', and lying on the carpet is seemingly not regarded as acceptable behaviour for anyone over the age of 14 or 15. 

Which is perhaps just as well because, easy as it may be to park yourself on the axminster, once you reach a certain age it's a helluva lot harder to pick yourself up again.  Who was it said that old age doesn't come alone?  Whoever it was, dang me if they weren't 100% correct.

Hands up all those who'd rather be a kid again.

The CHORD IS LOST And The PEWTER HAS GONE TO POT...

In the West End of Glasgow was once a pub called The PEWTER POT.  Some years back, a pal of mine did stints as a deejay there from time to time and occasionally I'd help him set up his stuff, then I'd go for a stroll for an hour or so around that area of 'The Dear Green Place'.  Sadly, when I was in the neighbourhood a couple of weeks or so back, I noticed that The Pewter Pot had been demolished and Student accommodation was being erected on the site.

On my way back to the pub after my perambulations, I'd usually pass a record shop called LOST CHORD.  It was the kind of place that leapt right out at you, because of the way the exterior of the premises was decorated.  If I was ever in the shop on a daytime visit I can no longer recall, but if I was, it was only once.  I passed it quite a few times though, and sometimes stopped to look in the window to see what was on offer within.  The place had character.

On the same day that I noticed The Pewter Pot was no more, I also discovered that Lost Chord had likewise fallen to a similar fate.  It's still a record shop, but under a new name and owner - and with a brand-new look both inside and out.  In fact, at first I didn't click it was the same premises until the person I was with informed me of the fact.  Apparently, the original proprietor, after being there for many years, accepted an offer for the place and Lost Chord ceased to be around the 4th or 5th of September last year.

I've borrowed the accompanying photos from Lost Chord's FACEBOOK page, so I trust they won't mind me using them to lament the passing of a Glasgow icon. I bought a DOLLY PARTON 12" single from the new shop, as the cover was just too enticing to resist.  I can't remember whether it had a Lost Chord price label on it or not (could've been old stock the previous proprietor had abandoned), but regardless, I'm still glad to have it as it reminds me of a shop one simply couldn't ignore on catching sight of it.  Anyone got any memories of the place?

And, in case you were wondering, below is what The Pewter Pot looked like.  Actor DUNCAN MacRAE performed the opening ceremony and pulled the first pint in 1955.

Photo of the opening in 1955

Wait, don't run off.  Below is the record I bought a couple of weeks or so ago from Lost Chord's successor.  What can I say?  How about "Well, hello Dolly!"?

PAST POSTINGS: JOURNEY INTO SWIPERY...

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #83, page 8, panel 1

All artists have (or should have) a reference file.  This usually consists of a collection of photos and illustrations of just about every scene imaginable.  It can contain previous drawings by the artist and also even the artwork of others - which is why it's also called a 'swipe' file, because it provides the working illustrator with material from which he can copy if his imagination (or knowledge of the subject) is a little lacking.

It may surprise you to learn that not every artist can sit at their drawing boards and draw just about anything off the top of their head or at the drop of a hat.  Even those who seemingly do so are often drawing (pun intended) upon their experience of an earlier drawing, the subject of which they first had to meticulously research before committing to memory.

Even artists such as WALLY WOOD and JACK KIRBY occasionally swiped from illustrators who had preceded them, like HOGARTH and FOSTER.  Joltin' JOE SINNOTT, inker of many of MARVEL's top pencillers - and an illustrator of no mean accomplishment in his own right - occasionally swiped when he was performing sole drawing chores on The MIGHTY THOR back in the 1960s.

Joe drew five Thor strips for JOURNEY Into MYSTERY (#s 91, 92, 94-96) and not only swiped from Jack Kirby, but even from himself.  I thought it might be interesting to look at a few panels 'inspired' by ones in previous stories.  Some are direct copies, others have been tweaked (and flipped), but their sources are still all-too apparent.

The following examples result from a casual browse through the stories themselves and are by no means exhaustive (in fact, I've since seen one or two others), so look through the issues yourself (if you have 'em) and see which ones you can spot.

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #91, page 12, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #94, page 12, panel 5

******

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #83, page 10, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #92, page 10, panel 6

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #95, page 4, panel 7

******

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #85, page 6, panel 3

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #94, page 10, panel 2

******

Art by Jack Kirby (?)/Steve Ditko.  JIM #88, page13, panel 5

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #91, page 1, panel 4

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #94, page 5, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #95, page 2, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #96, page 2, panel 1

******

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #91, page 11, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #95, page1, panel 6

******

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #91, page 13, panel 3

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #92, page 11, panel 2

******

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #93, page 3, panel 7.  (This pic looks like a patch)

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #96, page 8, panel 3

******

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #86, page 12, panel 5

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #91, page 9, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #95, page 10, panel 7

******

Art by Jack Kirby.  JIM #86, page 11, panel 6

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #95 page 2, panel 3

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #95, page 13, panel 7

Art by Joe Sinnott.  JIM #96, page 2, panel 3