CRIVENS! IT'S WHIZZER & CHIPS 50TH ANNIVERSARY - COMPLETE 1ST ISSUE...

Copyright REBELLION

"Two comics in one, double the fun!", but WHIZZER & CHIPS was really just one comic with two names.  However, it was a good idea to make readers think that they were getting more bang for their bucks.  (Or in this case, more pages for their pennies.)  I recall seeing WHIZZER & CHIPS upcoming launch advertised in a centre-spread insert in SMASH! and being instantly fascinated by a picture of the friendly ghost from HARRY'S HAUNTED HOUSE.

On sale on 11th October 1969 (cover-dated 18th), I was up around 7a.m. and across like a rocket to the newsagent's over the road from me, eager to immerse myself in this new comics experience.  The title lasted for one week past its (un-celebrated) 21st birthday before being merged with stablemate BUSTER, thereby ensuring that at least a few W&C characters survived a bit longer.  I bought a copy of the last issue in the same shop that I had purchased the first, even though I no longer lived in the area.

Y'know, sometimes I think that any point in my past life is as near to me as 'over the road' was then, but it's a short-lived feeling that soon dissipates when I realise that all my yesterdays are quite a bit farther removed than that.  Anyway, that's enough melancholy introspection - enjoy the 'Whizzer' section to start with, and we'll be back right after it with its companion paper 'Chips'.  (Were you a Whizz-kid or a Chip-ite?  Don't be shy now. )

And below is the CHIPS section to help you recapture a long-vanished slice of your childhood - if you were a child back in 1969 that is.  It's hard for me to believe I originally bought this comic when it first came out 50 years ago, but yes - I really am that old, despite my youthful good looks and full, luxuriant head of hair.  I've even got all my own teeth - and I don't mean the kind that are kept in a glass of water at night.  However, before this starts to read like an ad in a dating agency, I'll shut up and let you get on with reading the following strips.  I could then end by saying "You've had your Chips!", but that would be too obvious a pun, wouldn't it?

BONUS: Here are a couple of flyers from SMASH! comic (it probably also appeared in other IPC titles) for the new weekly WHIZZER & CHIPS.

******

BABE Of The DAY - SYBIL DANNING...

Oh, SYBIL... you are awful - but I

like you!  That's a nice little something

she's almost wearing, eh, Crivs?  More

 of the lovely Sybil coming up soon!

BARGAIN BEANO ANNUAL 2020...

Copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

Looking for a bargain?  (Daft question - who isn't?)  Then get yourselves along to your nearest HOME BARGAINS store, where the BEANO Annual for 2020 costs only £2.99 instead of the full price of £7.99.  (Remember now, that's the BEANO, not The BEANO - sigh!  Whoever thought up that pointless change?)  Anyway, save yourselves a fiver now!

However, be advised that DENNIS The MENACE is no longer the scowling scamp of old (and hasn't been for a while), but rather a cutesy-looking imitation who calls GNASHER 'Dude'.  In fact, the strip isn't even called Dennis The Menace, having changed its title to that of the animated TV show, DENNIS & GNASHER - again, a change that was instigated a few years ago.

Also, although amusing, the first story in the book is a not-too-subtle PC-preachy tale about the threat of too much plastic impacting on the environment.  Whatever happened to comics just trying to be funny, instead of following a social agenda, however worthy it might be?  Just leave it to the real world, DCT - it's not as if the subject is being ignored elsewhere.

Remember when The Beano was riotous, rebellious, anarchic and untamed, and didn't 'toe the line' or follow the rules?  I miss those days!  Maybe the rest of the stories in the Annual will perk up a bit - I'll let you know once I've read them.

EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT SPIDER-MAN IS WRONG...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Y'know, something about SPIDER-MAN's origin that never really gelled with me was the idea that he had the proportionate powers of a spider - simply because he was bitten by a radioactive one.  Sure, he certainly manifested similar abilities, though didn't possess the natural physical 'equipment' to produce his own webbing, making the first movie ridiculous in that respect, despite STAN LEE saying that he thought it was an improvement.

Therefore, if (for the sake of discussion) we accept the original notion that he got his powers from the spider, he could obviously only replicate its abilities in as much as his own human make-up would allow him to.  But if that's true, then how did he manage to walk up walls while wearing gloves and (originally) thick-treaded boots?

Furthermore, whenever he was crawling on a ceiling, wouldn't his weight have brought it down, especially in offices where polystyrene ceiling tiles hid the electrical wires for air-conditioning and overhead lighting?  It doesn't really make much sense.  (I hear you - does any superhero concept?)  But we're not stuck with the 'official' explanation if we don't want to be.

My own opinion (despite what the comics may now suggest) is that it was simply the radiation that imbued PETER with enhanced powers, not the spider - it was merely the 'messenger'.  The radiation allowed him to transcend his human limitations and do things that he otherwise wouldn't be able to.  Walking up walls?  That was as a result of Peter having some kind of 'psionic' force that allowed him to defy gravity to a limited extent.

You see, in my view, because Peter saw the spider, it had a psychological influence on the way he understood and 'rationalised' his enhanced abilities.  Potentially, if he hadn't been limited by his own perceptions of what a spider can do (disproportionate strength and speed, the ability to cling to surfaces), he might have manifested even greater powers - like being able to fly for example.  (Even his so-called 'spider-sense' is merely a form of ESP.)  

What I'm suggesting is that the spider was merely the conduit for the radiation that gave him his powers, not the source itself.  The radiation affected his metabolism, increased his strength and speed, and also imbued him with the ability to develop just about whatever enhanced attributes he could imagine (within reason).  Now, though, his powers have become established and can't evolve further.

Anyway, I think there's great story potential in my idea.  I'd love to see a tale where Peter discovers he's a 'child of the atom', not the spider, and that the arachnid merely influenced how he interpreted his radiation-induced powers, and wasn't the genetic source of them itself.  What say the rest of you Criv-ites?  Let loose the dogs of dissent in the comments section.

WHEN JACK KIRBY GOT IT WRONG...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

JACK KIRBY, for all his strengths as an artist, also had quite a few weaknesses.  His covers had impact, but sometimes they weren't that well-drawn and didn't always bear scrutiny.  Jack was a lazy artist in some ways - not that he didn't put a lot of 'detail' into his pencils (or a lot of hours in at the drawing board), but he often never took the time to draw things properly.  (Leaving out fingernails for example - it was usually the inker who added them.)

Controversial you think?  Well, consider the facts.  Was it really beyond Jack's skill as an artist to look at how STEVE DITKO drew SPIDER-MAN and reproduce Spidey's webbing in his own drawings?  Was he really incapable of looking at how SUPERMAN's hair and 'S' symbol were drawn by CURT SWAN and replicate them in his own strips?  I don't think so, he merely couldn't be bothered trying.  That's certainly a form of laziness.

But look at all the detail in surviving stats of his pencils, you say.  Yeah, but some of it was 'pseudo-detail', intended just to fill space - dashed off with the broad end of a pencil with no finesse.  A lot of the time it worked, but, also, a lot of the time it didn't.  Generic squiggly lines to denote the gleam of armour or metal, areas of abstract shapes to denote shadows, but bearing no relation to what cast them.

Take a look at the cover of AMAZING FANTASY #15 (above) for example.  Spidey's mask looks okay, but that's down to Ditko inking Jack's pencils.  However, that left arm and hand are far too long, and the webbing on the sleeve is in the wrong place.  Also, his right leg (even allowing for foreshortening) is too thin compared to his left, his boots appear to be of different lengths, and the guy tucked under his arm is a dwarf, whose legs look as if they're growing out the front of his lower abdomen.

So bad is that KARLOFF-faced figure, that I've often wondered whether that was the way Jack drew him; could Steve have redrawn the legs under instruction from Stan?  Surely he'd have done a better job?  Yeah, the cover has impact, but it's very far from being one of Jack's better drawings.  What say the rest of you?

Kirby pencilled Supe's face okay - it was the hair that never looked
right, and the parting sometimes jumped from one side to the other

BABE Of The DAY - SYBIL DANNING....

Betcha BASIL FAWLTY wished

his Sybil was as gorgeous as this one,

huh?  Crivvies, I present the sensational

SYBIL DANNING!  Drool cups at the

 ready, commence drooling now!

Mr. HANDSOME...

                                             

                                                     I am the handsomest of men,
                                                     the ladies look, then look again;
                                                     I'm toned and fit, and tall and dark,
                                                     in my blue eyes resides a spark
                                                     which makes them tremble deep within
                                                     and lets me turn their hearts to 'sin'.
                                                     If truth be told, I'm quite a tease,
                                                     but women's eagerness to please -
                                                     to play the game of 'birds and bees'
                                                     and do their utmost to appease
                                                     my appetite for pleasures rare -
                                                     lets me perform with style to spare.

                                                     I am Adonis come to life,
                                                     all women wish to be my wife.
                                                     I conquer hearts with languid ease
                                                     and watch them buckle at the knees.
                                                     I laugh as their chins hit the floor
                                                     whenever I pass through a door.
                                                     E'en Sapphic slaves can't help but 'turn'
                                                     so filled with lust for me they burn,
                                                     their 'lady love' they all do spurn
                                                     and nevermore will they return
                                                     to their past wicked wanton ways,
                                                     such is the power of my gaze.

                                                     My skin is firm and tanned and smooth,
                                                     my honeyed words do serve to soothe
                                                     the fever in their lustful hearts,
                                                     pierced by cherubic Cupid's darts.
                                                     I cannot fail, I am God's gift
                                                     to women who require a 'lift'
                                                     to make them feel desired and young
                                                     by one so manly and well-hung,
                                                     who charms them with a silver tongue,
                                                     whose name and fame are so far-flung -
                                                     for me they'd all lay down and die...
                                                     and do so with a grateful sigh.

                                                     Who am I?  Why...

                                                     I'm Mr. Handsome.

AMAZING FANTASY #15 FACSIMILE EDITION - THE GOOD AND THE BAD...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

AMAZING FANTASY #15 Facsimile Edition is a nice little addition to the series, but I have to be honest and say it's not quite as good as it could be.  However, first let me tell you what is good about it.  The SPIDER-MAN strip, unlike many previous 'doctored' reprints, is reproduced from faithful source material, with none of the clumsy amendments, alterations, or restorations that earlier re-presentations suffered from.  (Update: Having now re-examined the pages and contrary to my earlier impression, the back-up tales are not derived from the same sources as the 1992 MILESTONE EDITION, being slightly sharper and less blurred.  However, to my eyes, the main strip still seems a tad superior in the reproduction stakes.)

SUE STORM making an 'appearance' in the ad's most recent incarnation?

What's more, for some curious (no doubt PC) reason, an image* has been omitted from one of the ads, and the indicia has been moved from the inside cover to under the splash page, leaving too large a space where it originally sat.  Also, the cover COMICS CODE stamp has been deleted, which I think is a step too far, as keeping it would help capture the 'spirit of the age' in which the mag first appeared.  Plus, the bar code box is too prominent - it could be smaller, as it was on the Facsimile Edition of FANTASTIC FOUR #1.

(*It transpires, after further research on my part, that this image appeared in some comics of the period but not in others, so it was actually missing in the original publication of this particular issue, not just in the facsimile.)

Perhaps it was felt that she was too full of 'adoration' in her manner,
but isn't that the whole point of the ad - to attract adoring women?

Those few gripes aside, I'd still recommend it, as it's the closest that most of us will come to ever owning anything resembling the original 1962 comic.  Pick one up as soon as you can, because these mags sell for at least twice the price on eBay once they're no longer available - sometimes even more.  And they'll become collectables in their own right that will further appreciate in value as time wears on.

Why not keep the (new) indicia where the original was, like in the
 Fantastic Four Facsimile Edition?  Why compromise its integrity? 

FAMOUS FIRST EDITIONS 'FRAUD'...

Copyright DC COMICS

The cover above comes from the interior of a FAMOUS 1st EDITION reprint of SUPERMAN #1 (though the comic itself was un-numbered), published by DC COMICS in the late '70s.  (The reprint that is, not the original.)  I eventually had a few copies of this issue (some sold without their cardboard covers by Glasgow news-vendors), and, inevitably, I cut one up to stick the cover and various panels on my bedroom wall.  (This was obviously before the days of home scanners and printers.)

That was nearly 40 years ago, and it was only around a year or so back that I replaced the faded, wrinkled, and mottled original with a brand new copy, printed from a scan of one of my two other issues of this mag which have been in my possession since almost as long as the one sacrificed to adorn my wall.  I was gazing at it earlier this evening when, from deep within the innermost recesses of my mighty mind, a memory was resuscitated, a recollection that I am now about to relate to you.

You've read about 'Bob Billens' on Crivens! before - or at least you have if you're a regular long-time reader.  That's not his real name, but it's close enough for anyone who knew him to recognise him should they read this.  As I've recounted before, I once worked in my local Central Library for about six months, where I met a summer worker who was also into comics.  That was Bob.  One day, he asked me if I'd seen this particular reprint, and I replied that I'd seen it advertised, but never laid either hands or eyes on an actual published copy.

Bob said he'd bring his copy in to show me, which he did a day or two later.  As I was leafing through it, I noticed that several pages near the back were creased in a sort of 'half-rip', the result of a fault in the ream of paper they were printed on.  I pointed this out to Bob, but he dismissed it as unimportant, as that was the way it had left the presses, it wasn't a later infliction.  Bob considerately offered to order one for me from his comics supplier in Bournemouth, so I duly handed across the cash and waited patiently for its arrival.  What a top bloke, I thought, going to all that bother on my behalf when he didn't have to.

When it arrived and was handed over, I noticed it had the exact same damage to the exact same pages as his copy and good-naturedly 'challenged' him about it.  "I see you've kept the copy I paid for and substituted your imperfect one for it," I said, but he denied it, and seemed a bit huffy at the suggestion - but it was an affected display of huffiness, not a genuine one, so it was obvious that he had indeed 'pulled a fast one'.  Now call me a thicko (woaaahh, not all at once), but it wasn't 'til sometime later that it occurred to me that his offer to procure me a copy was merely so that he could deliberately effect such a switch - it wasn't a later spontaneous decision.  Otherwise he'd simply have given me his supplier's address and let me order my own.

What a b@st@rd, eh?  Thing is, I couldn't prove the 'switcheroo', so had to let it slide or risk the friendship.  (Some friend, eh?)  I've always been a wee bit wary ever since of anyone volunteering to do me a 'favour', as I've found that, often, it's more themselves they're intent on doing a favour for, rather than me.  It's not always 'built-in' at the time like the event I've just described, it can be a later development.  You know, they'll offer to sub you a pound if you're short at the till when buying your shopping, then a week later, they're asking you for a loan of a tenner.  (Never seems to happen the other way around.)

So always beware someone offering to do something for you, seemingly out of the goodness of their heart.  Sometimes, of course, the offer can be completely genuine, but other times there's a catch - which may not be obvious to you at the time.  "There's no such thing as a free lunch!" is the old saying, and if I had a pound for every time I've found that to be true, I could dine like a king at least once a week.

Oh, and in case you're interested, below is the cardboard cover (front and back) to the reprint itself, which is a faithful facsimile except for its size. 

The TITANS ANNUALS 1977 & '78...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Originally, I scanned these two Annuals with the intention of adding them to the final part of The TITANS Cover Gallery, which appeared on the blog around four years ago.  However, I've now also decided to give them a post of their own, hence them appearing here for your personal perusal.  That way, you won't have to trawl through the archives to find them.  What a great guy am I, I'm sure you'd all agree.

Update: I thought I'd posted these Annuals before, but couldn't find them when I searched through the blog earlier and assumed I was mistaken.  However, I've just discovered that I posted them back in 2016, so that's twice now that I've scanned these images.  I could've saved myself the bother and simply republished the earlier post.  Ah, well... 

MIGHTY MARVEL COLLECTORS' EDITIONS CHECKLIST - ON SALE NOW!!!

AVENGERS UNIVERSE #5

Copyright MARVEL COMICS.  Published by PANINI

76 pages of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes!

The Shadow Colonel and his Legion of the Unliving attack the Avengers – and the Ghost Rider is their weapon!

Featuring material first printed in Avengers #16-17, Avengers: No Road Home #1-2.

On sale NOW!

£4.99.

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WOLVERINE & DEADPOOL #5

76 pages of Marvel’s toughest heroes!   Three great stories!

New story!  Mysterious murders take place in the frozen north – and Wolverine is the chief suspect!

X-23 battles the Midwich Cuckoos!

The final showdown between Deadpool and the Black Panther!

Featuring material first printed in Wolverine: The Long Night #1, X-23 #5 and Black Panther vs Deadpool #5.

On sale NOW!

£4.99.

HI THERE, MY NAME'S STEVE - STEVE SUPERMAN... AND I'VE GOT AN IDENTITY CRISIS! CAN YOU HELP?

Copyright DC COMICS

I think it was JOHN BYRNE - way back in the mid-1980s when he (and others) revised SUPERMAN's origins in the wake of the CRISIS On INFINITE EARTHS 12-issue series - who first posed the question as to why anyone would ever suspect that Supes might have a secret identity.  Sure, it was traditional for masked heroes (and villains) to have other identities - that's why they wore masks to conceal who they really were - but KAL-EL didn't wear a mask, so why would anyone suppose he might be hiding who he really was - or even that there was a 'really was' to hide?

Although Byrne's reasoning seems logical at first, it begins to evaporate when you think about Superman's early years.  (His 1930s early years, that is - when the whole idea of LOIS LANE suspecting CLARK KENT of being Superman was first introduced.)  To begin with, Supes was a vigilante wanted by the police.  Nobody knew his name (it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was unlikely to be Superman on his birth certificate), nor did anyone know where he lived, so he clearly didn't gad about in his costume all the time.  If he did, it wouldn't be hard for the cops to trail him back home after his weekly shopping trip to the supermarket and try and arrest him.

Therefore, he most likely had another name, but was obviously keeping it a secret.  Presto!  That's a secret identity right there.  And he must've had a place to live which nobody knew about, so he was a figure who, as far as his everyday existence was concerned when he wasn't leaping about in his 'work' clothes, was concealing his true identity from the world.  Even when he started having a better relationship with the authorities, he never said "Call me Steve" (or whatever) in response to anyone addressing him as Superman.

However, Byrne's version of Supes was never a vigilante, so let's just allow, for the sake of discussion, that no one would have any reason to imagine he had another identity.  First though, I'm not convinced we're on solid ground going down that route, because if he didn't disguise himself in his 'off' hours, his neighbours would've been bound to cash-in on the fact by selling their story - "We're Superman's Next Door Neighbours!" - with photos of him sitting out in his back garden in a tee-shirt and jeans.  But let's pretend otherwise.  Let's just accept that no one ever looked at Superman and thought that he might become someone else when he hung up his cloak at the end of the day, or wondered about where he lived and what he did when he wasn't catching criminals.  (And to be fair, it wouldn't have occurred to them on his first few public appearances - but eventually they'd have started to wonder.)

However, that's not how the whole Lois suspecting Supes being Clark came about.  It was the reverse of that - she looked at Clark and realised that he bore a resemblance to Superman - and that he was never around when Supes was (and vice versa).  Well, you can't have one without the other, obviously, because if Clark is Superman then the reverse is also true.

What about SUPERBOY then, when he was retroactively fitted in to Clark's continuity and history?  Surely no one had any reason to suspect him of being other than who he was?  Au contraire.  People knew he must live in SMALLVILLE, but not precisely where - and they also knew that they'd never seen him attend school in his costume (or any other outfit).  He surely had to have a disguise then, and was hiding amongst them.  To me, it seems the most natural assumption in the world for them to make - within the confines of a comic designed for kids.    

I therefore propose, my learned Criv-ites, that it's consequently not quite the stretch of imagination that Byrne suggests it to be (if it was him) to assume that Supes would've had a 'civilian' identity.  To me, it would seem even more unlikely if he didn't.  Anyway, what's your own opinion on this topic, readers?  Feel free to voice your view in the comments section.  You don't even have to do so under your real name - you  can use your secret identity.  (All the best people have them.)