KLASSIC CHRISTMAS KOMIC KOVERS - THOR & THE X-MEN #37...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

As far as I can remember, no British MARVEL mag of the '70s and '80s followed the U.K. tradition of having snow on the cover masthead before THOR & The X-MEN #37 was published, so this one's a collectors' item on that basis alone.  And having ICEMAN's head in the corner was another n-ice touch for a winter issue, don'tcha think?

(If I'm mistaken and there was a U.K. Marvel mag prior to this one with snow on the masthead, then let me know, frantic ones!)

BABE Of The DAY - JENNIFER BEALS...

Seriously sexy JENNIFER BEALS

makes her Crivens debut today, readers,

and all I can say is - "I'm in luuurve!"

KLASSIC CHRISTMAS KOMIC KOVERS - FANTASTIC #46...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

It's still within the Festive period, so here's the cover of the Christmas issue of one of the all-time great comics of yesteryear - FANTASTIC!  It was just over halfway through its short lifespan at this point, but readers weren't aware of that at the time.  In fact, it's unlikely that publishers ODHAMS PRESS knew either.

And look at the pic below: MARVEL, DC, and Odhams characters all on the one page.  Such a thing probably couldn't happen today, so savour this classic moment from 1967.

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS, DC COMICS, & relevant owner

SANTA CLAUS CAME TO TOWN - AND STAYED...

It was 1972 or '73, getting on towards Christmas.  I'd just acquired two different Santa 'cake toppers' from a shop called W. & R. HOLMES, which was one of the absolute best shops in my local town centre.  One of the Santas was on skis and was identical to one once given to me by a neighbour (ROBERT BAIRD) two or three years before when I lived in a different house in another area.

The second Santa was smaller and, unlike the other, was more of a 'cartoon'-type figure.  I had them both for a relatively short time before they vanished into the limbo that inevitably claims most items from our youth.  In 1977, a mere 4 or 5 years later, but seeming like a lifetime (after all, I'd gone from schoolboy to working man in that time), I obtained a replacement for that second Santa in a local shop (R. S. McCOLL's) across from where I worked.

When I was in Portsmouth in 1978 to be best man at a then-friend's wedding, I saw the same Santa in a newsagent's and bought it for my pal.  Why?  Because he'd been with me when I got the two Santas from W. & R. Holmes on that Saturday morning back in the early 1970s so it somehow seemed fitting (even though he probably didn't remember it).  Whether he kept it or not I have no idea, but I still have my 1977 replacement and it's been part of the Christmas decorations every year since then.  (That's 40 Christmases in case you're counting.)

So, in yet another self-indulgent fit of sentimental reminiscing, I decided to give you the backstory just so I'd have an excuse to show a photograph of that little Santa.  As you'll have guessed by now, that's him at the top of this post.  It takes me right back to that crisp Saturday morning in the early 1970s just looking at him.  Long may it be so.

Have you got an old Christmas decoration that you'd never part with?  Go on - tell us all about it.  

BABE Of The DAY - KELLY BROOK...

I think all cars should be fitted

with KELLY BROOK-shaped airbags.

Why?  'Cause crashing your car wouldn't

 be quite as awful as you'd expect.

SNOWMAN IN A COOL TIN BOX...

Remember when houses once had a floor-to-ceiling cupboard in the kitchen that served as a larder?  The kitchen of the house in which I now live used to have one, but it was removed when the property was refurbished back in the mid-1980s, when my family and myself were living somewhere else.  When we returned over four years later, the larder was gone.  Y'know what?  I miss it - it somehow gave the kitchen character.

In this larder used to be a tin, on the lid of which was a picture of a little boy sitting on a raft* in the middle of a river.  Beside the boy was a dog - a Scottie, I think.  The lad may've been HUCKLEBERRY FINN or TOM SAWYER, but he was definitely in that mould.  I wish I could find a replacement for that tin, as even just thinking about it returns me to a long-vanished era.

This tin (a biscuit tin) used to reside in a drawer in the kitchen of my previous house, and also, I'm sure, the kitchens of the two homes before that.  Then, I merely took it for granted, but in this house, it acquired the status of a link to my childhood, which is sort of what happens to most items that lay around for any length of time.  At first, they're just there and we're only dimly aware of them, but eventually, we somehow come to notice them more and grow to cherish them.

At least, that's how it is with me.  Like a lot of things, the tin eventually disappeared, and I have no idea how long it was after it's disposal before I first noticed its absence.  However, the tin is not the central point of this post; no, it's a little chalk 'snowman' that, after a few years as a Christmas decoration, was consigned to the tin when he eventually became a little the worse-for-wear.  That was the old tin's purpose you see - to store various items 'til they were required again (if ever).

Close to 30 years ago, I saw the snowman's twin in JOHN MENZIES, amongst an array of 'cake-toppers' on a shelf, and immediately snapped him up.  Like the tin, I can no longer recall (if I ever even knew) when the original vanished, but it may have been around the same time as the tin, which could've been the mid-to-late '70s.  So whenever I look at that snowman today, I'm reminded of past Christmases in four houses, as well as the tin which I'd dearly like to own again.

If you happen to have one of these tins, get in touch if you'd consider selling it.  That's the snowman at the top of the post, although, as he's got a flesh-coloured face, maybe he's meant to be an Eskimo kid in a snowsuit for all I know.  Anyway, I just felt like a bit of shameless reminiscing, so hopefully you'll forgive my self-indulgence.  Is there anything you miss from your youth that you'd like to own again?  (Aside from your youth, obviously.)  Tell your fellow Criv-ites.

******

(*Update:  And below is a picture of the tin.  As you can see, it's not a raft - it's a washtub, but I was right about the rest.  And thanks to eBay, I now own four of them in two different sizes.)

DEATH OF A PRINCESS... (Updated)

Just returned from the shops to learn that actress CARRIE FISHER has died.  Saw her on a couple of chat shows not that long ago, and it's hard to believe that she's now gone.  To paraphrase a well-known saying:  "May she be with the Source."

******

Sadly, only a day or two after Carrie passed away, her mother, actress DEBBIE REYNOLDS, has also died.  Let's hope we can get into 2017 without losing any other celebrities, eh?  Such a shame.

RAMBLING REPOST: SOME OLD NEIGHBOURS DIE, OTHERS SIMPLY FADE AWAY...

Art by BERNIE WRIGHTSON, copyright DC COMICS

A few doors along from me used to live a woman whose name (for the purpose of this tale) was Mrs. SMITH.  Mrs. Smith and her three daughters were living there when my family moved into the area in 1972 and had presumably lived there for a good number of years before we had ever thought to do so.  In the fullness of time, her daughters married and moved out and Mrs. Smith lived in the house by herself.

About fifteen years ago, I would occasionally see Mrs. Smith's teenage granddaughter visiting her, but her health had started to fail so I never saw much of Mrs. Smith herself, apart from the very odd occasion when she was sweeping her front porch.  Then, around six years back, I noticed that the now adult granddaughter and her boyfriend seemed to be visiting Mrs. Smith quite a lot, if their frequent comings and goings were anything to go by.

And then one day the proverbial penny dropped.  Mrs. Smith's granddaughter and boyfriend weren't visiting, but actually living there, Mrs. Smith having moved out of the house and in with another of her daughters some months before without me having noticed.  And so it had come to pass that another long-time familiar face had disappeared from my everyday life without me ever getting to bid her a last goodbye.  (Not that she'd be concerned with that.)

I've no idea if Mrs. Smith is still alive or not, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that she expired a few years back, so frail had she become.  In the caverns of my mind are many people who were once everyday participants in my day-to-day life who I haven't seen in years, and, like Mrs. Smith, I have no idea whether they yet inhabit this mortal plane or left for parts unknown a good while ago.  Alive, dead, flitted, emigrated?  Who knows?

(UPDATE: I later learned that 'Mrs. Smith' passed away on Friday, November 1st, 2013 - twelve days after I first posted this.  Her house has now been sold to someone who lets it.)

What strikes me as odd is that it can be many months, sometimes even years, before we realise that we haven't seen 'so and so' for ages, and that part of the backdrop of our lives has been altered by their absence.  I often think of folk who once perambulated past my window on a daily basis that I haven't seen in years, and wonder where they are and (if alive) what they're doing now.  (Just where is the guy with the ill-fitting toupee, who my teenage self used to see making his way to and from the local pub every night?  He must've been one helluva fighter to stop his drinking buddies continually ripping the p*ss out of him, that's for sure.)

I remember sitting in a cafe in Southsea one day, back around 1985, and noticing an elderly gentleman with a pale film over one eye and a distinctly Karloffian-type face (as BERNIE WRIGHTSON would draw it), dressed in 1950s style clothes under a black overcoat.  I only ever saw him once, maybe twice, but every now and again, my mind jumps backwards and I wonder what became of him, simply because I associate him with Southsea and have fond memories of my time living there, over thirty years ago.  

When I'm gone, I wonder if anyone will one day ever wonder what happened to the guy with his German Shepherd dog, who faithfully traversed the neighbourhood in all weathers, and, without ever having known me, sort of miss me in the same way that they miss their childhood - simply because I was once a familiar (from afar), everyday part of it.

It would be nice to think so, but somehow I doubt it.  

HOORAY! MORE CHRISTMAS BEANO PAGES FROM 1978...

Images copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

As promised, here's another couple of pages from the 1978 Christmas BEANO - ROGER The DODGER and The 3 BEARS. I'll post a couple more in a day or so, so don't be going anywhere or you'll miss 'em - and that would never do!  In the meantime, enjoy!  And if you had this issue as a kid, share your memories of it in our ever-lovin' comments section, why don'tcha?!

BABE Of The DAY - KELLY BROOK...

There's a couple of things about

the lovely KELLY BROOK that I like,

but I just can't put my finger on them -

(otherwise I'd likely be arrested).

THE RETURN OF DR. MYSTERIO - A SHORT 'REVIEW'...

So what the hell happened?  I actually enjoyed it this year.

The Doctor is still a tad too shouty-wouty and a bit too much

of a would-be stand up comedian for my tastes, but overall, it

was an entertaining little show.  Maybe the secret is not to

 expect too much, eh?  There - that short enough for you?

KID KLASSICS: 'SNOW' USE - I JUST GOTTA TALK ABOUT The SNOWMAN (& HIS DOG)...

Copyright relevant owner

I didn't see The SNOWMAN when it was first broadcast on CHANNEL 4 on Boxing Day in 1982.  It wasn't until I caught the latter half of it the following year (or even the one after that), that I bought the video of the classic cartoon-short about a Snowman who comes to life (as they all do, apparently), and which was based on the 1978 picture-book by RAYMOND BRIGGS.

I'd always assumed that DAVID BOWIE's introduction (first used in the 1983 broadcast) was the only one, so I was surprised to discover later that it wasn't.  The cartoon has now had three intros: the Raymond Briggs original, the Bowie one, one by Briggs' version of Santa (voiced by the late MEL SMITH), and (on DVD) none at all (but with all three intros as separate options).

Most folks probably think ALED JONES was the singer of HOWARD BLAKE's haunting composition WALKING In The AIR, as it was his cover which reached number five in the U.K. charts in 1985.  However, it's actually chorister PETER AUTY's soprano tones on the animated feature, although his name was missing from the credits and not added 'til the 20th anniversary version.

The Snowman and the young lad who built him (JAMES) made cameo appearances in the 1991 animated version of Briggs' FATHER CHRISTMAS, thereby suggesting that James's adventure with his snow pal wasn't a one-off.  This is borne out in the 2012 sequel, The SNOWMAN And The SNOWDOG, where a new boy finds an old box under the floorboards of James's old home, containing a hat, scarf, withered tangerine - and a photograph of James and the Snowman together, obviously taken on an occasion subsequent to the first one.

The sequel is also delightful, though not too different from its predecessor.  However, there are a few things I have some reservations about, so I'll address them here.  Coming thirty years after the original, viewers are within their rights in assuming that perhaps something close to 'real time' has elapsed in the intervening years, as the isolated house in the country is now part of a new estate.  Although surely a housing development would've simply bulldozed the house, rather than gone to the bother of building around (and next to) it.

Also, what happened to James, the original boy?  Would he really have abandoned the Snowman's accoutrements and photo of the two of them together?  I'd have preferred to see him as the new boy's father, passing on a magical secret to his son rather than his fate simply being ignored.  (We at least know he survived into adulthood and bore an uncanny resemblance to David Bowie.)  I suppose, though, that one can always interpret events as James's son and widow moving back to his boyhood home after having left some years before.  Perhaps the adult James only expired after the plans to move back were finalised, or perhaps (on a happier note) he's simply away on business at the time.

One thing I did like was the fact that, when the Snowman is given a fresh tangerine for a new nose, his shrunken, dried out one is utilised for the Snowdog.  "Waste not, want not!" as the old saying goes.  Also, a young girl is seen playing with what is clearly an item of Snowman 'merchandise', while the boy himself has a poster of Briggs' earlier creation from 1977, FUNGUS The BOGEYMAN, on his bedroom wall.  (And see if you can spot the 1966 TV BATMOBILE toy's brief and surprising appearance.)

As for the sequel's song, LIGHT The NIGHT by ANDY BURROWS (which is nowhere in the same league as the original), the makers (LUPUS) should've used either an instrumental version of Walking In The Air, or a new arrangement with perhaps a male-voice choir to distinguish it from Auty's.  (After all, it is the Snowman's 'signature' theme, in the same way that JAMES BOND and SUPERMAN have one also.)  Burrow's song is disappointingly underwhelming (though, for all I know, may be technically and musically perfect), and fails to resonate to anywhere near the same degree as Blake's original 1982 classic composition.

For all those interested, a DVD box-set of The Snowman & The Snowman and The Snowdog is available from most HMV stores and other outlets.  Or you can catch up with them on TV over Christmas if you're too much of a skinflint.  Well worth watching!  One thing I'd really like to know is this, though: what gives the Snowman his individual personality?  Is it the garden he's built in, or the person who builds him?  Or is it perhaps the accessories he wears?  If James is still alive and he were to build a Snowman, would it be a different one (personality-wise) to the one he built as a kid, or the same one?  Anybody got any thoughts on the matter?

"MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!"

KLASSIC CHRISTMAS KOMIC KOVERS - TERRIFIC #38...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

This story had previously been reprinted in a couple of issues of SMASH! (in two parts), also around Christmas, and whenever I look at the cover and b&w pages within, I'm back in my home town as it was in 1967, and not the vastly changed place it is today.  That's the thing about comics from yesteryear - they return us to the time in which we first read them, and which, if we're honest, we wish we could revisit far more often than we do.  Am I right, or am I right?

MY VERY 'FIRST' CHRISTMAS BEANO...

Images copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

As an adult, that is.  Chances are that I had at least one Christmas issue when I was a kid, but this is the earliest one I own, the very ish I bought back in 1978 when I was a mere 20 years of age.  It's possible I bought it in Southsea when I was down there to be best man at a (now former) friend's wedding, but it's equally possible I bought it within a day or two of returning home.  I'll be posting a few other pages from the comic over the next few days, but in the meantime, here's the 'world's wildest boy', DENNIS The MENACE!  Enjoy.

KID KLASSICS: SUNNY SUMMER SPECIALS OF YESTERYEAR...

Images copyright relevant and respective owners

It's the depths of winter once again, so let's cheer ourselves up by stepping back into sunnier climes with a look at some of the great Summer Specials from a long-vanished era.  Ready?

******

One of the things that every blogger has to concern themselves with is just what to write about for each new post, in the hope that at least someone will be interested in reading the result.  One can never really tell with any certainty just what will float a reader's boat so it's a bit of a gamble whenever a blog host takes the plunge with yet another entry for his members' perusal and hopeful appreciation.  Will a catchy title arouse their curiosity?  Will a dramatic opening illustration grab their attention?  Sometimes I'm surprised as to just what attracts a significant number of hits - and sometimes I'm disappointed in equal measure as to what seems to escape under the radar.

So, "what's the recipe for today, Jim?" - and will it be enough to lure you into my blog's web for a few enjoyable minutes of reading pleasure?  Let's look at the subject of Summer Specials - or Holiday Specials as they were also sometimes called.  Asides from three new Ultimate Beano Summer Specials which graced the shelves of WHS a while back, the particular breed known as the Summer Special seems to be extinct.  Hardly surprising given the dying interest in comics in general, but no less disappointing for that inarguable fact.

Those of a certain age will recall the glory days, when - for a mere 2'6d (usually) - 96 pages of fun and adventure could be had to pore over again and again.  There was just something about those extra thick publications that seemed to beckon to us from the newsagents' counters - enticing us to spend the halfcrown that a kindly and indulgent grandparent or uncle had given to us only a day or two before.  We were mainly unaware that, inevitably, these bumper packages contained an allocation of reprinted strips from comics or annuals of an earlier era - and what did it matter anyway?  They were definitely new to us.

So come with me now on a short journey, and let us return to an age when Holiday Specials were a welcome distraction as we sheltered under the leafy shade of an overhanging branch from the heat of the sweltering Summer sun.  A bottle of pop in one hand, an oversized paper periodical in the other, the future remained an undiscovered country - in which, sadly, all too soon we would find ourselves residing while wondering how we got there. 

    

And below is one of my all-time favourite Specials - the TV CENTURY 21 Summer Extra for 1965.  Took me years to track down this replacement, but I got it for a very reasonable price.

HAVE A CRIVENS CHRISTMAS...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

A very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to all CRIVENS regulars and (most) fellow comics bloggers.  May all your wishes come true in 2017.  (Apart from world domination - I'm reserving that one for myself.)

BABE Of The DAY - ALIONA VILANI...

Strictly speaking, ALIONA VILANI

is a dancer, which probably explains how

she managed to waltz right into my heart.

(Yeah, these captions are getting cornier

 and cornier, so you try writing them.

RECOMMENDED READING: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN EPIC COLLECTION VOLUME TWO...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

Here's another little belter of a book you'll no doubt all be wanting to rush out and buy, Crivvies - SPIDER-MAN EPIC COLLECTION Volume 2.  So look at the covers and read the spiel on the back, then race straight 'round (which is surely a contradiction in terms, but never mind) to your local comicbook store and pick up a copy today.  Go on, treat yourself - the wife won't mind, given all the times she's treated herself (that you don't know about).

FREAKY FRANKENSTEIN FIGURE...

Is it just me or does he look a bit like Ben Stiller?

Look at this nifty wee articulated FRANKENSTEIN figure I acquired recently. I assume his favourite song is 'Unchained Melody' (see what I did there?), but isn't he an absolute stoater?  Just thought you'd like to see him.  Remember though - he's all mine, so you'll have to buy your own.  ( I'll maybe replace these photos with some better ones later.)

The CHRISTMAS BEANO REVIEW...

Images copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

I've been putting this post off for a while now, mostly because I know the reaction it'll provoke in certain quarters, but also because (believe it or not) I derive no enjoyment from being 'negative', but I can postpone comment no longer.  So what am I talking about?  The BEANO Christmas issue, of course.  I can imagine what some people will say in response to my honest observations; things like  "It's a comic for kids, not adults, so it isn't intended for old farts like you!" 

And it's certainly true (as well as patently obvious) that the comic is increasingly aimed at younger kids these days, moreso than it used to be.  But here's a fact: I didn't begin collecting the Christmas issue of The Beano until I was 20 years of age, and have bought it every year for the last 38 years.  (I don't think I've missed any, but if I have, it'll only be one or two of the more modern ones.)  I've  always enjoyed the Christmas Beano, even though it wasn't designed (as I'm so often reminded) for people of  'my age'.

So why could I enjoy earlier editions but not the more contemporary ones?  I'm not even sure I know, but I'll have a stab at identifying what I see as the problem.  To start with, too many 'filler' pages taking up too much space, for no other reason than to pad out the issue and create the impression that it has far more content than it actually does.  36 pages, 15 of which are a combination of fillers, ads, and activity pages, with double-page spreads whose content would be more suited, in my humble estimation, to a single page.

I've no complaint about the quality of the art as such, although, again, two pages seem to be required to contain images that could easily be fitted into one.  To me, the comic gives the distinct impression that 18 pages of content (including filler, activity, and readers' letters pages) have been needlessly spread over 36, and that there's less actual reading in it than in previous decades.  So what's wrong with The Beano?  It just doesn't seem like The Beano anymore.

So, £4.50 for a polybagged periodical including cheap tat worth about 50p (if), and without the snow on the logo that tradition demands for a Christmas issue, I found this offering overpriced and, overall, disappointing.  It'll doubtless keep younger kids amused for a short while, but not for as long as I (as an adult) was amused by this once 'must-have' iconic comic in 'days of yore'.

Feel free to air your views on the matter.

For 'Beano Boss' page, read 'unnecessary filler' page 

HOPE YOU HAVE A SILENT NIGHT THIS CHRISTMAS...

There's a number of good versions of the classic

Christmas carol SILENT NIGHT, but most of them

usually only have two of the three verses.  Either you

get the the first two, or the first and the third, and in

BING CROSBY's rendition, you only get the first,

but sung twice. (Or is it three times?  Can't re-

member now.)

However, in JIM REEVES' case, you get all

three verses - and listen to the quiet power in his

voice gather steam in the third.  This is my very

favourite version of the song - give it a spin.

(BOND) BABE Of The DAY - JILL ST. JOHN...

The lovely and alluring

JILL St. JOHN is my kind

of woman!  (The kind that

was born that way, in case

 you were wondering.)

KLASSIC KOMIC KOVERS - AVENGERS ANNUAL #2...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

The above cover would be a worthy inclusion in our 'Comic Covers Snap' series as there's been quite a few variations on it down through the years, some, I'm sure, even pre-dating JOHN BUSCEMA's excellent example from 1968.  I'm lucky enough to possess the above mag (along with its predecessor, #1), and what an iconic issue it is.  Don't have it?  Then why not purchase The AVENGERS OMNIBUS Volume 2, which includes this very Mighty MARVEL Masterpiece?!  Go on!

Take a moment to wax lyrical about why Big John is one of your favourite comicbook artists in our comments section.  Don't keep all that awe and appreciation to yourselves!

KID KLASSICS: DO YOU KNOW HOW CHRISTMAS TREES ARE GROWN?

My living-room at Christmas some years ago

Or made, even?  In the case of the one I brought down from my loft a fortnight ago, it's made of bristle 'branches' entwined by wire attached to a wooden 'stem', from which the branches unfold to display the tree to best effect - only to be folded back against the stem when it's time for it to return to the loft for another year.  At least, that was the process originally.  However, the wire is now far too frail to withstand continual bending (and has been for many a year), so is simply covered with a bag before being returned to its accustomed place in the attic.

The tree is older than me and has graced every house I've ever lived in.  However, over a quarter of a century ago, some of the branches were missing, having snapped off over its vast lifespan when the wire had become fatigued past the point of flexibility.  Also, some of the little red beads at the end of each branch had become detached and were long lost to the shadows of many a Christmas past.  Then, one day, while walking past an OXFAM shop, I espied my tree's twin in the window.  I soon acquired it, and then used it to replace the missing branches and beads on my own tree.

Standing back to admire the results of my restoration work sometime later, my eyes fell upon the sorry remnants of the cannibalised tree which I had so heartlessly lured to its doom, and I was suddenly consumed by an overwhelming sense of guilt.  The tree had trusted me, had accompanied me willingly, believing itself welcomed into the bosom of a new family whose Christmases it would happily share every year from that point on - only to be ripped apart and cast aside upon arrival in its new home.  I felt like a murderer.  So eager had I been to restore my old tree, I'd hardly considered the act of cruelty I was inflicting upon its doppelganger.

Oo-er - the dog's up on the settee again

It could not be - it should not be - it would not be!  What could I do however, to reverse my thoughtless act of wanton vandalism on the innocent tree and redeem myself, not only in my own eyes, but those of the grieving Spirits of Christmases past, present and future?  A future now seemingly denied the tree I had plundered for spare parts.  Then I noticed something about the base of the tree, which, in all ways but one, was the double of the other, and hope rose in my now remorseful heart.

Both bases were portions of logs into which the tree-stems were sunk.  The logs had then been painted red with gold highlights applied in places over the bark.  However, although each tree was the same size (or had been until my 'surgical' intervention), the 'new' base was a fair bit thinner and therefore seemed, compared to its 'twin', out of proportion to its height.  Had the tree been smaller, it would have been a much better match for its base.

A close-up of 'Junior'

That was the answer.  I would use the remnants of the ruined tree to build a smaller one more in keeping with the size of its base.  I carefully 'operated' on the leftover branches, making sure that each tier reduced in length from the bottom up, so that the natural fir tree shape was maintained.  The original stem had splintered when I had removed the branches for transplanting into my first tree, so I bought a replacement pole from a D.I.Y. shop, wood-stained it, carefully drilled holes at regular intervals to accommodate the surviving customised branches - and hey, presto - one mini-Christmas tree, approximately half the size of its original dimensions and looking for all the world as if it had always been that way!

Every Christmas since (approximately 28 or 29), both trees have shared Yuletide duties in my living-room, the original in the front half and 'Junior' on top of the TV in the back half - each with their own set of lights to pierce the descending darkness of December late-afternoons.  And thus shall it ever be until my last Christmas on earth - and if they should survive my passing, some kindly stranger, perhaps seeing them in a charity shop window, will take them both home to brighten the Christmases of a new family for many a long year to come.

"God bless us, every one!"

BABE Of The DAY - RAQUEL WELCH...

Ravishing RAQUEL WELCH

is the kind of woman to whom you'd

give the shirt off your back -  so I did!

Don't believe me?  Look, she's wearing

it!  (Better not mention she's also got

 my bikini on.  Oops, too late.)