BABE Of The DAY - PENELOPE CRUZ...

When I asked PENELOPE CRUZ if she could show me the way

to heaven, I was rather startled by her frank visual reply.  (I'm only

talking about her heel pointing skywards, you dirty-minded lot.)

IF ONLY EVERYTHING OLD WAS NEW AGAIN...

Just around the corner from my house is a block of flats that's recently had some renovation work carried out (new roof slates and rough-casting).  One of the paths that leads to the back of the flats suffered some broken paving slabs in the process and half of the path was replaced with nice new slabs.

I was struck by how fresh, clean and smooth they were in comparison to the old ones, and it reminded me of how new my town used to look back in the 1960s and '70s.  There are two colours which I used to associate with my town - grey and green.  Grey (a nice light, bright grey) for the buildings, lampposts and paths, and green for all the grassy areas and fields that once existed (but now seem to have been built on).

Looking at the surviving half of the original path, it was old and worn and discoloured, much as large portions of the town now seem to be.  (And when I catch sight of my reflection, as I also now seem to be.)   If only the place could recapture that 'fresh and new' look it once had, as too much of it appears a little shabby and dilapidated compared to years ago.

Is it any wonder that yesterday can often seem far more appealing than today or tomorrow?

REMEMBER COMIC BOOK FOLDEES...?

Or FOLDEE (singular) to be precise, as I can find only one - but what a one it is.  'Twas Scots comicbook writer GRANT MORRISON who gave it to me at a comic mart in Glasgow a goodly number of years back.  I'd just purchased the first two DENNIS The MENACE books, and Grant had just bought several Foldees when we ran into one another.  We chatted away for a bit, and as he checked out his new acquisitions he noticed he had a 'doubler'.  "Do you want it?" he asked, obviously trying to ingratiate himself with me as I'm ultra-famous and everybody wants to be my pal.  (Hey, I'm writing this post so I'll tell it my way, reality be damned!)

"Sure, thanks very much!" I replied, and that's how the above Foldee came into my grateful possession.  As for Grant, I don't know what happened to him - he's likely living in abject poverty and wondering why he never made it as big as me.  However, some of us are born to greatness and some of us aren't, so he shouldn't feel bitter about his relative obscurity in comparison to myself.  Oh, here comes the nurse with a little cocktail of funny-coloured pills for me to take so I'd better wrap things up now and climb into my long-sleeved pyjamas.  I wish they'd find me an ordinary pair, because I can't scratch my @rse when it gets itchy through the night.  What we comicbook superstars have to put up with, eh?

Anyway, enjoy looking at the Foldee and remembering your childhood.  Any reminiscences you'd care to share will be most welcome in the comments section, so get typing, Criv-ites.

KID KLASSICS: A TRUE TALE Of BIRTH AFTER DEATH...

Images copyright DC COMICS

1974.  The date trips off my tongue with such familiar ease that it still seems fairly recent to my mind.  Hard to believe, then, that it was actually 42 years ago when I was still a mere lad.  Back then, DC COMICS had a title called BLACK MAGIC, which reprinted SIMON & KIRBY tales from a magazine of the same name published in the 1950s.

I remember buying the first issue with such startling clarity that I almost feel as if I went to bed last night as a 15 year old boy and woke up today the age I am now.  Life really does go by so fast, alas.  However, it's a story in the second issue that made a big impression on me which has lasted to this day - "BIRTH AFTER DEATH".

It purports to be a true account of events leading up to the birth of Sir WALTER SCOTT, the famed Scottish novelist, playwright and poet born in Edinburgh in 1771, who died in Melrose at the age of 61 in 1832.  (ROB ROY and IVANHOE being but two of his works.)

Although I've checked, I've never been able to find any corroborating evidence to back up the tale, but I find it hard to believe that Simon & Kirby would simply have made the whole thing up.  I remember reading the comic (on the day I bought it) in the graveyard of a local centuries-old church, complete with the burial vault of a once-prominent family from ages past.  Creepy but apt, don't you think?  Obviously that's why I associate the tale with the place today.

1822 portrait of Scott by Raeburn

Anyway, have a read and make up your own mind.  Fact or fiction?  To me though, it's one of those stories that - if it isn't true - it ought to be.

******

UPDATE: Simon & Kirby's story is true after all (with just a little artistic licence in regard to minor details).  From The MILWAUKEE JOURNAL, Tuesday, October 18th, 1932, comes the following account.  (Thanks, Tongalad.)

Sir Walter Scott's Mother Buried Alive Five Years Before His Birth

Old Essay Reveals She Was Rescued From Tomb Due to Ghoulish Sexton

London England - The astonishing fact that Sir Walter Scott's mother was declared to be dead and was actually interred five years before Sir Walter Scott's birth is recalled in a letter to the Daily Express, sent by George MacDonald, Birmingham.

"Her weird sepulchral experience," says MacDonald, "is described as follows by a great essayist of many decades ago."

Buried in Vault

Here is the description:

"Miss Rutherford, while lying in a trance and declared by the physicians to be dead, was laid away in the family tomb in the great vaults under the parish church.

"At night the ghoulish sexton stealthily entered the tomb, opened the casket and proceeded to rob the elegant and entombed lady of the jewels which were on her person according to the then prevalent custom.  Finding some of the finger rings too tightly fixed, the unconscionable thief took his pocket knife and slashed the flesh from the fingers.

"Came to Life"

"The sudden shock and flow of blood caused a reaction of the vital forces, and the reanimated lady opened her eyes, uttered an exclamation of amazement and attempted to rise up.

"The guilty and horror-stricken rascal's hair rose straight upon his head, and with the yell of a desperate madman he rushed forth, thus raising the alarm which brought help and rescue to her.

"She lived many years subsequently, none the worse for her awful adventure which occurred five years previously to the birth of Sir Walter."

******

Click the link below (provided by Tongalad)  to see the actual newspaper's front cover:

http://news.google.com/newspapersnid=1499&dat=19321018&id=uahQAAAAIBAJ &sjid=2SEEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5668,6482729

Unfortunately, the above link appears to be no longer active, though it was for years.

KID KLASSICS: I WAS KIDNAPPED ON TREASURE ISLAND...

A million years ago, my older brother and myself each received a Christmas present of a book from a literature-loving aunt and uncle.  My brother got KIDNAPPED (and I often wished he would be), and I was given TREASURE ISLAND, both written by R. L. STEVENSON.  I can't remember whether I read it at the time or not, but I did so ten years later and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Well, strictly speaking, that's not quite true.  You see, the one I read wasn't my original festive gift from years before (which had disappeared into limbo at some indeterminate stage), but a replacement I bought a decade later from a local bookshop on recognizing the cover and being instantly transported back in time to my childhood.

The cover reminded me of the back garden of the house I'd lived in when I received my earlier printing of this classic.  That was likely because of the garden having a wooden fence similar to that shown on the dustjacket, although ours was held together by wire.  To this day, whenever I look at that illustration, in my mind's eye I'm once again gazing through my old bedroom window at the garden below.

The back garden from my bedroom window

Anyway, to bore you with further tedious and unnecessary detail, unlike my original copy, the replacement carried no dustjacket.  The cover was just like an annual, applied straight onto the boards.  When I revisited the house nigh on twenty years after leaving it, one of several items I took with me (to 'reconnect' to my past, as it were) was the replacement edition of Treasure Island.  So now the book not only reminds me of my former home, it's actually been in it.

  

Some years ago, in the OXFAM shop in Glasgow's Byres Road, I managed to re-obtain a dustjacketed edition published in the same year as my original book.  It sits alongside my brother's copy of Kidnapped (which, happily, survived).  However, whether it's the '60s or '70s version, there's just something about that cover which sings to me of an earlier, more innocent time so many years ago.

PART TWO Of THOR The MIGHTY In A JOURNEY Into MYSTERY COVER GALLERY...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

Strange as it may seem, I always preferred the original "star-kissed human" concept of THOR The MIGHTY over the idea of Dr. DON BLAKE being a construct of all-wise ODIN.  Maybe that's why I enjoyed Thor's Earth-based escapades more than his adventures in ASGARD (on the whole), because I could relate to them more.  After all, I could never have been born a Norse god, but there was always a chance (however slim) I might find an ancient and enchanted gnarled cane in a cave that would transform me into even more of a walking powerhouse than I already am!

However, enough of levity.  Here, not before time, is the second in our series of cover galleries starring ol' Goldilocks from the dawn of his career.  Ten JACK KIRBY mighty MARVEL masterpieces to astound you!

(BOND) BABE Of The DAY - LANA WOOD...

PLENTY O'TOOLE - named after

her father perhaps, as 007 dryly suggests

in the movie DIAMONDS Are FOREVER.

Of course, it was really LANA WOOD - and

there's a joke in her name too, but I ain't

gonna touch it, no sirree.

PART TWO Of DEATHLOK The DEMOLISHER COVER GALLERY...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

"A new beginning" proclaims the cover of ASTONISHING TALES #36, but (alas) 'twas not to be.  The comic was cancelled with this ish, and the new beginning ended in MARVEL SPOTLIGHT #33.  However, you can't keep a good man down, and LUTHER MANNING (the original Deathlok, there's been at least three more since) popped up as a guest star in various titles 'til his star faded in the Mighty Marvel firmament and he was eventually consigned to reprints in the MASTERWORKS and EPIC volumes.

But don't be downhearted, 'cos we have these cracking covers (Gromit) to remind us of when Deathlok kicked @ss.  Got a favourite?  Then tell us all about it in the comments section, frantic one!  This blog's nothing without you!

This would've been AT #37 had the mag not been cancelled - the cover was already prepared,
logo and all.  Luckily, with a bit of rescheduling and re-titling, it finally got the 'spotlight' it
deserved.  Ironically, this was also the final issue of MARVEL SPOTLIGHT

Cover production photostat of originally-scheduled mag

PART TEN Of The CRUNCH COVER GALLERY...

Images copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

It's been a while since we looked at any covers from The CRUNCH, DCT's late '70s comic for boys in the 2000 A.D. mould (The Crunch, not the boys), so let's rectify that by copping a gander at another quartet of captivating comic covers from this short-lived (just over a year) periodical from the publishers of The BEANO and COMMANDO.  Back then, of course, they had numerous comics on the go, but not any more, alas.

So let's turn back the clock, and live again those happy, heady, dying days of the '70s.  Now there was an era!

STRANGE TALES COVER GALLERY - PART THREE...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

Seven is a lucky number.  "And why's that?" you enquire.  Because here are seven covers from MARVEL's magnificent mag from the '60s - STRANGE TALES.  Two, count 'em, two titanic tales for the price of one, when comicbooks were unashamedly comicbooks, and not the slick, 'sophisticated' magazines they aspire to be today.

But don't let me get on my soapbox about modern comics.  Let's just enjoy these covers from a simpler age, when comic mags were fun, and entertaining the readers was the only aim of writers, artists and publishers involved in this crazy business called comicbooks.  Ready?  Then what are you waiting for?  The fun starts now!