TALES To ASTONISH - BUT 100% TRUE NONETHELESS...

Duncanrig Senior Secondary School when it opened in the 1950s.
Designed by Sir Basil Spence.  Mural by William Crosbie



Well, you've read about DUNCANRIG art teacher Mr. BOB BELL in a previous post - now let me tell you about Mr. SLOSS.  Funny thing about teachers, isn't it?  Most of the ones you liked, you somehow knew their Christian names; the ones you didn't like or who were unremarkable, you only seem to remember their surnames or the fact that they were called "Sir" or "Miss".



Without meaning to be unkind, Mr. Sloss looked like a neanderthal: thick, greasy hair, a permanent 5-o'clock shadow of which FRED FLINTSTONE would've been proud, and dense, bushy eyebrows from under which he'd fix you in a Karloffian stare as if he were wondering what you'd be like to eat.  That was the other thing about Mr. Sloss.  His enormous girth (shirt hanging over his belt to complete a dishevelled appearance) was ample testament to the fact that he loved his grub and had never gone without a good meal in his life.

I should perhaps here explain (in case things are done differently nowadays) that we had several double periods of art throughout the week at our school.  One day it would be one art teacher and another day it would be a different one, and so on.  On this particular day, it was the turn of Mr. Sloss to have the unbridled joy of teaching our class absolutely nothing about art.  We were given the task of drawing a still life (various boring, inanimate objects which usually included an orange and a vase amongst them) and we dutifully applied ourselves.

A close relative of Mr. Sloss

Because I was particularly good at art (I usually got a double 'A' in exams, but more on that later) I'd invariably finish before anybody else, and such was the case on this occasion.  Mr. Sloss came over to view the result, and noticing a minuscule hole in the paper from a sliver of wood on the lid of the desk (a hole which would've been rendered invisible with the slightest pressure from a fingertip), said: "Can't you even draw without getting a hole in the paper?" - and promptly ripped up my drawing.  "Start again" was all he said.  So I did - but even given my speed, my picture wasn't quite finished before the end of the lesson.

The next art class I had a day or two later was under the auspices of Mr. McLEAN, the head art teacher.  As I was getting on with whatever I was doing, he suddenly said: "Gordon, I've been getting complaints about you from Mr. Sloss."  Noticing my puzzled look, he went on: "Don't worry - he isn't accusing you of swinging from the lightbulbs or anything, but he says you haven't been applying yourself and are well behind the other pupils."  Surprised, I explained to him what had happened and assumed that would be an end to the matter.

Cut to the next time I was in Mr. Sloss's class.  I was just applying the finishing touches to the drawing I'd started previously when along comes the man himself - who takes a quick look - then grabs it and rips it up.  "That's nothing like it!" he says, indicating the collection of objects on the table in the middle of the room.  You guessed it - the next time I'm in Mr. McLean's class, he informs me that once again Mr. Sloss has been complaining that I'm still lagging behind the others.  I was astounded - and could only mutter "Well, I wouldn't be if he didn't keep ripping up my drawings."

The art classrooms were at the back of this part of the building

Now, the usual procedure upon entering Mr. Sloss's class was this: the pictures we'd previously worked on were left in a pile on a desk near the door - for each pupil to search through for their own before assuming their seat.  (Each picture had the pupil's name on it.  Other teachers preferred to go 'round the class, placing the pictures on the appropriate desk.)  The next time we entered his class, the pictures were conspicuous by their absence.  For a moment we wondered why, but the mystery was soon solved.  "Take your seats and I'll call you out to collect your picture" he said.  This was a first - he'd never done this before.

He then proceeded to call out each pupil in turn to go to the front of the class and collect their drawing.  "Gordon Robson" he eventually announced, so out I went to claim my pencilled masterpiece.  As I approached, he held out the sheet of paper for me, and, naturally enough, I reached out my hand to receive it.  Suddenly, he yanked it back, ripped it up and threw it on the floor behind his desk.  "Absolute rubbish!" he bellowed - "Start again."

That did it - I'd had enough!  I told Mr. Sloss exactly what I thought of him in no uncertain terms, interrupting him as he was trying to address the class.  The fury of my outburst must've taken him by surprise because he didn't know how to deal with it - so he simply ignored it, as I continued my outraged vent about victimisation in my best "CALIMERO" fashion.  Surely I don't have to mention what Mr. McLean's topic of discussion was when next I saw him?  Yup - Mr. Sloss's unhappiness with my work in his class.  Curiously though, there was no mention of me having "spat the dummy".

Another view of the famous mural by William Crosbie

Hard to believe?  Wait - that's not the end of it.  There was an art class exam, held across all the different art classes we had.  In other words, part of our exam would be in one class on one day, part of it in another class on another day, and yet another part in - well, you get the idea.  Because I'd been off ill on one of the exam days, myself and some other pupils who'd also been absent, were allowed to sit the part we'd missed on the first available occasion.  I'd already received the results of the previous portions of the exam, and they were extremely respectable.  I fully expected a top score when I'd completed the remaining session, so I was looking forward to it.

Mr. Sloss oversaw the exam that day, though he must've been filling in for another teacher, because it wasn't his usual classroom - it was Mr. McLean's if I remember correctly, but I'm not 100% sure.  Anyway, myself and the few other pupils were taken into the room next door, where we were left to draw a girl posing for us on a stool.  (A wooden stool - behave yourselves.)  As usual I produced not only a good drawing, but also an accurate likeness of the girl herself.  When the time was up, we trooped back into the room whence we'd come.  Mr. Sloss looked through the drawings, then held one up - "This one's good, whose is it?"  I recognized it immediately - "Mine, Sir!" I said.  Without looking up or saying anything, Mr. Sloss quickly dropped his hand as if a wasp had stung it.

Now comes the part that still rankles, nearly 40 years later.  When I received the "final" results of my exam, the revised marks were the exact same as they'd been before - that part of the exam hadn't been included.  It's obvious that my drawing from that day had "mysteriously" disappeared and was never seen by anyone other than Mr. Sloss.  Now, who could've been responsible for that, I wonder?  Answers on a postcard please.  Remember earlier when I said I usually got a double 'A' in exams?  Looking at my report cards, I see that I got a double 'A' two years in a row, then an 'A'/'C' (the 'C' was for application in class, which means I was getting an 'A' for ability, but apparently not applying myself - according to Mr. Sloss that is), then I got an 'A'/'B', then a 'B'/'B' (due to part of my exam being withheld by Mr. Sloss), then an 'A'/'B' again.  Two art teachers thought I was the best artist in the school (for my age anyway), and I got a merit certificate for art three years in a row, if I remember rightly, so I think there's little doubt that Mr. Sloss was conducting a personal vendetta against me.

View from one of the art classes

I remember once mentioning this bizarre behaviour to Mr. Bell, whose response was simple - "Some of the art teachers are jealous of you, Gordon" was his frank reply.  He looked embarrassed by the fact - embarrassed for them, that is.  This cast my mind back to the first time I'd encountered animosity from Mr. Sloss.  The class had been instructed to acquire sketch pads, and - due to financial constraints - I'd been a bit slow in obtaining one.  My solution, after much bullying and threats of corporal punishment from Mr. Sloss, was to remove the cover and slit the spine of a spare, blank-paged jotter I had, fold it in half (to A5 size) and insert a couple of staples into its new spine.  Then, one night at home, I drew a futuristically-clad figure amidst some Kirbyesque-looking machinery (conjured up from the depths of my fertile imagination), lettered "sketch pad" along the top, breathed a sigh of relief and rested from my labours.

A day or so later, in art class, Mr. Sloss asked if I'd got myself a sketch pad yet.  "Yes, Sir" I answered quite truthfully.  He looked disappointed.  "Let me see it" he demanded.  I handed it across.  He studied the cover for a moment, and then said: "Who drew this?"  "Me" I replied.  Mr. Sloss was having none of it.  "Nonsense!" he raged.  "If you can draw like this, you should've left school ages ago and got a job."  It wasn't meant as a compliment, and at 14, leaving school wasn't an option available to me.  "I repeat, who drew this?" he demanded.  "Me - if you don't believe me, you can ask my dad" I said.  (I'd drawn it in the living-room in front of the TV, and my family had been present at the time.)

"Ask my dad," mocked Mr. Sloss - "that's what children say!"  (As I said - I was only 14.)  "I'll send it across to Mr. LAUCHLAN over at the technical block and see if he recognises what technical manual you copied this from" he threatened, as if he expected the fear of discovery to make me throw up my hands and confess to the crime of plagiarism.  "Fine" I replied, quite unconcerned.  He gave me a dirty look in return.  "Go and sit down!" he ordered in defeat, tossing my sketch pad to me contemptuously.

One of my old art classrooms in 2007 - then being used for English

Now, as you sit there reading this, perhaps you're wondering if an adult teacher could really be so spiteful, mean, bad-minded, petty and contemptible, but I can assure you that, in relating the above events, I haven't engaged in the slightest bit of hyperbole or distortion of the facts whatsoever.  It's all 100% true and accurate, and when I read nowadays of all the trouble that teachers have to put up with from pupils, I'm reminded that, back in my day, the shoe was often very much on the other foot.  Two wrongs don't make a right, of course - but you have to marvel at the irony, eh?

So - just like Mr. Bell, Mr. Sloss also left an impression on my youthful psyche.  Unlike Mr. Bell, however, it was for all the wrong reasons.  Poor Mr. Sloss - I hope he finally came to terms with whatever demons tormented him and found a measure of peace.  I've no idea whether he's still alive or not.  Nor do I much care, to be honest.

A couple of years ago, a newly-designed Duncanrig school (now referred to as a High School rather than as a Senior Secondary) opened next to the old one, which was then demolished to make way for houses and flats.  However, though the original building may now be gone, the memories still remain - and, despite any impression to the contrary you may get from reading this post - most of them are pleasant ones.  Handy thing, rose-coloured spectacles.

In HALCYON DAYS Of YORE...

THOR The Mighty - from the cover of FANTASTIC Annual 1968.  Copyright MARVEL COMICS

I'll probably get a fair bit of stick for this rather boastful reminiscence, but believe it or not, when I was a young lad at primary school, I was regarded as the best artist in my class, if not the whole school.  Now before you fall about laughing, that wasn't (and isn't) a figment of my imagination - it just happened to be the consensus of opinion amongst teachers and pupils alike.  Naturally, there must've been a few artistically inclined individuals who resented and disagreed with this generous assessment of my abilities, but -  if so - they remained the (silent) minority.

However, I couldn't really take credit for my place atop the heap.  After all, I was merely regurgitating the styles of artists of the calibre of KIRBY, BUSCEMA, DITKO, COLAN, SWAN, ANDERSON - and a whole host of others.  Because of that, my drawings tended to have more impact and therefore made a lasting impression.  What follows is an example of what I'm talking about.

One day I and two of my fellow pupils (JULIE CUMMINGS and BILLY McCLUSKEY) each produced a drawing or painting that was regarded as so good that we were taken around the school to show them to the other classes.  Billy had drawn (in pencil) a scene of two boxers pounding it out in the ring (he was a big fan of, and maybe even related, I think, to a famous boxer of the same surname), and Julie had  drawn (also in pencil) a lake scene with swans gliding serenely over the surface.  Both were very nicely done, if I recall correctly after 40-odd years.  As for myself, I had painted a picture of THOR, standing on a mountain top and holding aloft his hammer to the heavens. 

Every class we visited, the result was the same.  We'd stand in a row whilst the teacher indulged in a bit of preamble, and then raise our pictures for the class to see - only to be met with cries of "Look - it's Thor - Wow!" and similar exclamations of awe and wonder.  Now, truth to tell, my picture was probably not much better-rendered than Julie's or Billy's - but the subject was more dynamic (and in colour) and, consequently, almost guaranteed to draw the attention of just about everyone in the room.  Hardly anybody took a second look at the the pictures of my two despondent classmates - some never even took a first.

Poor Julie and Billy - they must have hated me.

Anyway, what's the point of the story?  Merely that I often look back on those days and wish that I was as good an artist now for my age as I was then.  For a 9 or 10 year old I was "hot" - as an adult I barely qualify as lukewarm.  What's the old saying?  Ah, yes, I remember.

"NEVER REST ON YOUR LAURELS."

'Nuff said.

******

(Update: That's Billy below, in a photo taken at secondary school around 3 years later.)

NOT FIREMAN SAM... HONEST!



Enlarged, cropped scan of image below

First of all, you'll have to forgive the quality of this painted cartoon - on account of it being enlarged from a two inch image in a photograph taken at an angle through glass, resulting in it being slightly distorted, stretched, and not too clear.  It didn't help that I used shiny gold acrylic ink to paint the helmet, buttons and belt-buckle, as it reflected the flash, but the actual framed picture is really quite nice.  It's a caricature of a friend's kid, and the proud parents were as pleased as punch with the result.  In fact, I was too.

Framed & mounted original

A TRIBUTE To Mr. BOB BELL...

    

A real Boy Wonder.  (Everyone wonders if he's a real boy)

There's an old saying: "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach."  Before we get to the main point of this post, let me now relate the tale of how I found this saying to have a fair amount of truth to it.



More years ago than I care to recall, in art class at school one day, our appointed task was to paint a portrait of the person sitting next to us.  The person sat next to me was a lad by the name of MORRIS (or MAURICE) ORR, so he consequently became the wholly uninterested beneficiary of my artistic aspirations (and I his) as I duly set about immortalizing him in watercolours, via those circular and curiously pungent tablets of which schools were once so fond (and may still be for all I know).

It was a perfect likeness (if I say so myself - and I do), but I was less than happy with my attempts at Morris's lips, which I had painted in an almost comicbook style.  That is, the line of the upper lip with the shadow of the lower lip underneath it, rendered in slightly darker flesh tones. However, I was stricken by a desire to emulate the 'Old Masters' and portray every crook, cranny, curve, crevice and crack of Morris's gob in vivid detail, so I therefore painted over my first attempt and sat back to wait for it to dry before having another go.



As the teacher (Mr. McLEAN) made his way around the class gazing over our shoulders, he mistook my temporary lack of activity for uncertainty on how I should proceed.  Looking at my painting, he said, "Having trouble with the mouth, Gordon?  Here, let me show you a little tip."  (Behave - it's not that type of story.)  Taking my brush, he then proceeded to paint an inferior version of my initial attempt at little Mo's mouth.  "There, that's how you do it" he said, in a rather self-satisfied tone as he made his way back to his desk.

 

It was at that point I realized that this teacher had nothing to teach me.  Here was I, eager to ascend to a higher plateau of artistic accomplishment, only to be hindered by someone who was content to keep me at the level from which I was trying to advance. 

Fortunately, however, not all art teachers were like that - which now brings us rather neatly to the Mr. BOB BELL mentioned in the title of this rather nostalgic - if self-indulgent - "little" piece. (Feel free to marvel at the skill with which I cleverly contrived to craft the consequent comparison.)

Mr. Bell was a different box of spiders altogether; cheery, rotund, enthusiastic and friendly - not unlike one of those jolly uncle figures in a RICHMAL CROMPTON 'WILLIAM' book.  What's more, Mr. Bell thought I was a 14 year-old artistic genius - which elicited no protest from me as, quite frankly, I was of the same opinion.  (Much like BENJAMIN DISRAELI, who once said, "My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.")  Mr. Bell had arrived at his elevated evaluation of my artistic abilities after watching me draw a figure of a musclebound superhero in class on one occasion, prompting him to pronounce my picture as "anatomically perfect".

Ah, but there's more.  It had long been Mr. Bell's ambition to draw for comics, and he'd even once submitted some samples of his sequential artwork to D.C. THOMSON in an attempt to find favour and approval.  Sadly, it wasn't to be and he was met with polite rejection (if such a thing is possible).  He brought the pages in to school to show the class (or perhaps just show me, because I was also a comics geek) and he could certainly draw, so it wasn't a lack of ability which had led to DCT declining his services.  More likely was the fact that the influence of DUDLEY D. WATKINS - and other artists - was too pronounced (perhaps giving editors the impression that he was a mere 'copyist'), rather than because his pages weren't any good.

One day he brought in a box containing a pile of comics, including quite a few British editions of MAD magazine.  He kindly let me take one home with me to read at my leisure, and - when I evinced my liking for said magazine - even more kindly said I could keep it.  Wotta guy!  The magazine in question was the one illustrating the top of this very post, and contained a witty parody - drawn by the superb MORT DRUCKER - of the BATMAN television show from 1966.

He was also a great admirer of the GERRY ANDERSON programmes - and I remember him once telling me that, whenever he saw art director BOB BELL's name in the closing credits, he always felt a pang of disappointment that it wasn't him.  What a difference to his staid, stuffy, and static "arty-farty" colleagues, whom he effortlessly outclassed and outshone.

About six or seven years after leaving school, I ran into another (former) art teacher from the same period, who - when I enquired after Mr. Bell - informed me that he'd died two or three years before.  Although it's been about 30 years since I learned this, I still sometimes find myself hoping that he was mistaken and that Mr. Bell is still very much alive somewhere, drawing comic strips to his heart's content.

Sadly, I never got to tell him just how much I enjoyed being in his class, or how much I appreciated his lavish praise, encouragement, and enthusiasm - but, whenever I look at that terrific NORMAN MINGO illustration adorning that particular cover of MAD, I can't help but think of DUNCANRIG's very own Mr. BOB BELL.  He was just what a teacher should be.

Here's to you, Mr. Bell (or can I call you Bob?) - wherever you are.  You made a difference.

ANOTHER KRACKING KOSMIC KIRBY (RE) KREATION By KID...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS



It's common knowledge that MARVEL's STAN (The MAN) LEE sometimes rejected JACK (King) KIRBY's initial cover ideas and requested that he come up with another approach.  Such was the case with FANTASTIC FOUR #20, perhaps on the grounds that the good ol' FF - being covered with a coating of plaster - were not quite as dynamic (or recognizable) as Stan felt they should have been.  (And a stunted ALICIA MASTERS seemingly sprouting from the back of the menacing MOLECULE MAN wouldn't have helped.)

A few years back (1997  to be precise), The JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR printed a stat of the pencils of the unused cover, and I was consumed with a desire to see it in finished form.  I enlarged The THING slightly (Jack often drew him too small, compared to his original towering stature in FF #1) and "fixed" Alicia's position in the background.  I also decided to render the foursome without the plaster coating, the better to be able to see them.  TJCK printed it in one of their issues, but I forget which number.  Once again, there are a few areas which could stand improvement (The MOLECULE MAN lettering in the cover blurb for example) and maybe one day I'll eventually get around to doing it.

Anyway, I thought all you cavorting Criv-ites might like to see just how FF #20's cover could have looked.  (And maybe even does, in an alternative reality somewhere.)

"HEAD FOR HOME, ROBERT..."

Copyright relevant owner

Don't you just love it when someone does something really clever?  Here's an example of what I mean: feast your eyes on the cover of the very first FIREBALL XL5 ANNUAL for 1963/'64 (above).  Now cast your awestruck orbs on the cover of the DVD collection containing all 39 episodes, released a year or so back (below) - see what they've done?  I think it's really cool, and a nice way of bringing things full circle.

This is the second DVD release of this cult programme; there was one a few years back which, rather nicely, had the XL5 logo on the discs, but sadly contained no extras.  This time it's got extras galore, plus a fantastic TV CENTURY 21 booklet written by ANDREW PIXLEY, and detailing the history of this GERRY ANDERSON 1960s' classic.

If you don't already have it, add it to your Christmas list now.  (And it might be wise to start saving for the colourized collection - there's bound to be one eventually.)

DON'T ASK - JUST BUY IT!

Pencils by Kirby, inks, colours & lettering by Robson

Thirteen years ago, The JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR printed a stat of a pencil drawing of ORION - and asked readers to send in their inked version of the pic.  I never got around to it at the time, but later - and for my own amusement - I used a sheet of tracing paper to ink the piece and then decided to have a go at colouring it as well.  I only had some acrylic inks and felt-tipped pens, so that's what I used.  So here it is (above) in all its glory.

For good measure, shown below is the black and white inked version.  When I get a chance, I'll dig out the issue of JKC and post the copy of the pencils.

Inked with Windsor & Newton #3 sable brush

SUPERMAN Versus MIGHTY MOTH...

Pencilled, inked & lettered by KID ROBSON

Here's another unseen page from the archives.  This one's 25 years old and is scanned from a photocopy rather than the original art.  (Most of the stuff in my files comes from photocopies, the originals having been given away or misplaced over the years.)  Consequently, it's not as sharp or as detailed as it otherwise would be.  This was intended for a fanzine produced by the now defunct comics shop A.K.A. (Also Known As), run by JOHN McSHANE, the late PETE ROOT and BOB NAPIER, three luminaries in the Glasgow comics scene.  (I think little STEVIE MONT-GOMERY also became involved at a later date.)

The cover was produced in a hurry between lettering assignments for 2000 A.D. and other IPC publications, so it's not as 'finished' as I would've liked.  (The floor and cape are desperately in need of some shadows.)  The issue this cover was intended for was never published due to a lack of material, so it's languished in my files until now.  First person to say it should've stayed there gets a cheap laugh, but loses their BLUE PETER badge.  

WILL YOU ALWAYS KEEP A DANDY HANDY?

A more polished version of Jamie Smart's Desperate Dan

As regular readers will know, there are certain aspects of the new DANDY that I'm not too keen on.  JAMIE SMART's DESPERATE DAN strip has come in for a bit of a kicking elsewhere on the internet, and I have to admit that I'm not its biggest fan either.  It's all just a little too rushed-looking and roughly-finished to suit my tastes.  (Though not so much in the above pic - read on.)

However, intrigued by those who claim to like his artwork, I had a look at his website and I was surprised to see that his style seems less jarring on characters I haven't seen before, and even has a certain rough-hewn charm.  In fact, even his Desperate Dan strips on his site seem to have had a bit more care and attention lavished on them.  (The illustrations on this page are "borrowed" from over there.  Let's hope he won't mind.)

So I had another look at the first couple of issues and - guess what?  That's right - they still didn't work for me.  Perhaps he was under pressure and had to produce his Dandy pages in a hurry; or perhaps he's experimenting with a rougher, more organic look - who knows?  Well, he does, but he's hardly likely to tell me.

Another slightly smoother look

What I will say, however, is this.  To all those old-timers who aren't too keen on his Dandy pages, take a look at his website.  Divorced from familiar characters we all know and love (and let's face it, who - with the possible exception of KEN H. HARRISON - could compete with DUDLEY D. WATKINS?), his pages don't seem as jarring as they do in DCT's relaunched comic.

If DAN had to have a new look, I think I would have preferred to see TOM PATERSON or HUNT EMERSON (I liked his LITTLE PLUM - ooer, missus) have a go at him.  I still don't think Jamie's style (or, to be more precise, the version of his style that he uses on DD) quite works.  However, if he just shaved off some of the rougher edges from the strip and it had a more consistent lettering font, I feel that much of the criticism it has received might be dissipated somewhat.

I'm sure Mr. Smart cares not a jot for my opinion - and that's perhaps how it should be.  However, I'm sure I'm not the only one who hopes that he may yet see the wisdom in aiming his strips not only at new readers, but at older ones as well.  That way everybody's happy.

TOYBOX TREASURES Of The PAST: COMET HYDRO PLANE...

One of the "must-have" toys of the '60s

Surely there can't have been a kid in the '60s who didn't have one of this fantastic battery-operated HYDRO PLANE speedboat?  As well as playing with it in ponds, baths and sinks, it also came in useful as a handy fan on hot summer days at the seaside.  They just don't seem to make toys like this anymore.

AND TIME TICKS ON...



He's going to have some wait



And another quickie.  Basic, but effective.  (Hey, I was working for chips - I wasn't going to knock myself out!)  Again, everything produced by my own fair hand.  The shop is no longer there, so it looks like that guy could be waiting for quite some time.

P-P-PICK UP A - PIZZA?

This was an A5 flyer for a local business which I knocked up a few years back (the flyer, not the business).  Of course, when one is doing stuff which isn't going to be printed in a comic, one can afford to relax about the finishing on a piece of work. Nevertheless, it's not too bad, every aspect of it being hand-lettered and drawn to quite a high standard (if I say so myself).

WHO'S A HAPPY CAMPER?

"Yaaawn! I wonder what kind of day it's going to be, Fred?"

Here's a little amateur cartoon I did back around 1977-'78 for a church camping poster.  Looking at it now, I can mainly see where it could be improved - but, overall, it's really not too bad for a teenager.  I coloured it in for the poster, but unfortunately that's been long lost to the mists of time.  One day I'll tidy it up and recolour it, just to make it as good as it could be.

AND NOW - A NEWSFLASH...

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

Hey, quick, comics fans - click on this link - http://www.lettersofnote.com/ - for an interesting item relating to The X -MEN.  This is a great site, and has many fascinating historical letters of... er, note.

Go on - what are you all waiting for?  (Though you'll now have to dig through the archives to find it.  Use the date this was posted as a guide.) 

IT'S DESPERATE, DAN...

Copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

I must confess to not being impressed by sections of the new DANDY.  It seems indisputable to me that the overall look could be improved by a few simple steps, namely in the lettering department.  Which is not to say that all the lettering is bad, but it would still benefit from a change to upper case to make it easier to read.  I don't even mean that the current style is too small, but it's definitely too rough in places to flow smoothly.

So far, I've studiously avoided specifically naming any particular strip or artist that I'm not so keen on, but JAMIE SMART's DESPERATE DAN strip seems to be the focus of a lot of less-than-positive attention elsewhere on the internet.  I'm assuming he letters the strip himself in the new Dandy, but if so, he really isn't doing himself any favours.  Have a look at the DD trailer page (above) from the OLD Dandy.  His art doesn't seem quite as roughly finished, and the overall look of the strip is vastly improved with more uniform frame borders and consistently rendered, uppercase lettering.  I'm sure at least some of the critics would look far more favourably on the strip if it looked like this.  (Though I'd still prefer a slightly more detailed version - after all, the original had been established for nearly 70 years.)

The editor did no one any favours when he abandoned the above slightly more polished-looking finish for the current one.

Okay, D.C. THOMSON - you've had your fun - change it to the above look - NOW!

NOT A "MATTED MASTERWORK OF MURDEROUS MALIGNANCY" - BUT DEFINITELY A MASTERWORK...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

Just out - the MARVEL MASTERWORKS edition of The MIGHTY THOR Volume 9, featuring the last of JACK KIRBY's run on the title.  This bombastic book also contains two NEAL ADAMS and three JOHN BUSCEMA illustrated tales, which provide an interesting contrast to Jack's artwork.  Golden Age Great BILL EVERETT inked some of the Kirby tales in this volume, foreshadowing the look that MIKE ROYER was later to give Kirby's pencils, but it's the VINCE COLLETTA finished stories which steal the show.

Since he died, Colletta has been unfairly (in my opinion) much-maligned for some of the shortcuts he took on Kirby's art, but he was a favourite with readers at the time.  (Apparently the book dipped in sales when Everett inked it.)  VC's finishes gave Jack's pencils a far more illustrative look which totally fitted the mood of the comic - in fact, it was Colletta's inks which were largely responsible for that mood.  Say what you like, but Vinnie's inks gave more to Jolly Jack's pages than they ever took away.

With an introduction by WILL MURRAY and reprinting The MIGHTY THOR #s 173-183.

Run, don't walk, to your nearest comics store and pick up your copy now.  (Pay for it first though.)

ISBN # 978-0-7851-4200-1.

And still available is the softcover edition of the first volume of Thor Masterworks, containing JOURNEY Into MYSTERY #s 83-100.  This recent printing of the book contains the best and most faithful presentation of Thor's origin since it was first published, and is a must-have for every true believer.

ISBN # 978-0-7851-4568-4.

So, what're you waiting for?  Rush out and buy it today!

TOYBOX TREASURES Of The PAST - ANYTHING Can HAPPEN In The NEXT HALF HOUR...

The rubberband version



1965 was the year I got my rubberband-powered STINGRAY by LONESTAR. There was also a clockwork version which looked pretty much the same (see below), but it was the cheaper version I had. Cheaper, but no less fun at the nearby pond just along the road from where I lived at the time.  And there was also the kitchen sink or the bath for Stingray to continue its undersea explorations when I couldn't be bothered going out or the weather was against me.



The clockwork version

I acquired a replacement for this childhood toy a good number of years back and proudly have it on display.  VIVID IMAGINATIONS produced their own, far more detailed version of this craft sometime back in the '90s, but there's something about the '60s original which is hard to beat.

WHAT'S GOOD And BAD ABOUT The NEW DANDY?

Copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

Here's what's right with it - full-colour, good paper (though it tends to smudge), some well-drawn strips, and smatterings of irreverent humour in the small print on the inside back page.

Here's what's wrong with it - in some places, amateur lettering, clumsy placement of word balloons, roughly-rendered logos which are too similar (no individual identity), and some inadequately drawn sequential art, which could be vastly improved.

Take BANANAMAN - never liked the character and didn't care much for the old version of the strip, although it was drawn in a highly competent and professional manner.  So, I therefore don't have a problem with the new art style and direction for the hero.  (No doubt many fans of the original might disagree.)

However, it could stand some improvement in the following areas.  Upper case lettering in the word balloons, slightly bolder exterior lines on the characters to make them stand out - and more space in the frames to accommodate the lettering so that the art isn't obscured by it.  Same goes for PEPPERONI PIG.

Also, just why does it feel that I'm looking at too many of the strips through the wrong end of a telescope?  Everything seems to be in long-shot - even the close-ups.  (No complaints about HARRY HILL whatsoever.)  Had I been the editor, I'd have made sure problems like these had been resolved before the strips had gone to press.

Another thing - some defenders of the new DANDY claim that it's aimed at kids, but if that's the case, why does some of the art look like it belongs more in PUNCH or PRIVATE EYE?  Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but they seem to want to have their cake and eat it too.

Hopefully these problems will be fixed sooner rather than later.  Feel free to agree or disagree - or even ignore - I don't care.

"AN EPIC FOR OUR TIMES"...?

Images copyright DC COMICS

Here's the cover of JACK KIRBY's first issue of NEW GODS, as it appeared back at the start of the 1970s.  Part of what came to be known as the FOURTH WORLD saga (along with FOREVER PEOPLE, MISTER MIRACLE, and SUPERMAN'S PAL JIMMY OLSEN), it lasted for 11 bi-monthly issues before being cancelled due to disappointing sales.  (Forever People likewise disappeared after 11 issues, Jack relinquished Jimmy Olsen after 15 issues, and Mister Miracle 'expired' after 18.)

 

Did you know, however, that the premier New Gods story was originally intended to debut in an issue of SHOWCASE?  Here's how it could've looked had Jack not successfully argued for the series getting its own title.  Kirby thought it would stand a better chance of being a hit in its own comic, rather than as a 'try-out' strip in a 'revolving-door' mag.  He may have been wrong (in fact, if not in theory), but if anyone deserved to be given the best chance to succeed, it was Jack.

And, just in case you were wondering, when SHOWCASE #94 eventually did appear (in 1977), it featured the first of a three issue DOOM PATROL run.  Enjoy, history lovers.

******

UPDATE: Since originally publishing this post, I've been advised that the SHOWCASE/NEW GODS cover (originally sent to me in an email with no reference to its source) is merely a much later 'mock-up' of what the cover could have looked like, and not an archival image.  I've also been informed that it may have originated on (or been inspired by) another blog - which misleadingly lists it as an 'unpublished rejected or altered' cover.  As it was fraudulently misrepresented, we could be forgiven for regarding some other assertions by the blogger in question with an extremely large pinch of salt.

ADVENTURE In The 21st CENTURY...

 

Agent 21, Fireball XL5, Thunderbirds & Stingray copyright relevant owner(s)

A couple of months ago (here), I posted the cover of the very first TV CENTURY 21 ANNUAL for 1966 (released towards the end of '65), so I thought you might be ready for another look 'back' at the 21st Century.  Here's the Annual cover for 1967, containing all the old favourites that anybody who is old enough will remember.  Just think - when this Annual first appeared, man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

I often wonder if today's children will one day reminisce with such affection over what they used to read, as - in the main - there doesn't seem to be as many quality publications around for kids as there used to be back in the 'old' days.  There's certainly nothing today that compares with TV21 (as it was known, for short) and I doubt that there ever will be again.

One of the things I enjoyed about the weekly comic was The DALEKS strip, which ran for 104 issues.  It's a shame the Daleks never appeared in the Annuals though (apart from the odd photo to advertise the weekly), as it would have been great to see them in a strip consisting of several pages, as opposed to just one on the back page of the comic.  However, they did have their own Annuals in 1964, '65 & '66, so that's something to be grateful for I suppose.

"ALL HAIL TYRANNUS The MIGHTY!"



Neither shaken nor stirred

I've recently received loads of emails (okay - three, to be honest) asking me to show an up-to-date photo of myself.  I'd like to think SALMA HAYEK was one of them (using an assumed name), but they're probably some blue-rinse grannies in their eighties.

So, in an effort to give my panting public what they ask for, here's a photo of me taken about a week ago.  Yes, that is all my own hair, even though it looks a bit 'wiggy' in the picture.  Hopefully, the BOND producers will see it and give me a call if that ugly little blond guy who looks like a monkey isn't available for the next movie.

However, I'm left to wonder why those three people (or maybe one person with three aliases) thought any of the other photos of me which appear on this blog were out of date.  Must be my youthful good looks, obviously.  (Though you should see the portrait in my attic.)  I'm so glad I swapped that issue of The HULK #5 for the little phial of elixir that TYRANNUS was carrying when I ran into him a few years back.

I now return you to the real world.

NOW - THIS IS WHAT I CALL FUNNY...

Copyright D.C. Thomson & Co., Ltd

 

It seems ironic that, in abandoning its DANDY XTREME incarnation, the new DANDY has become even more extreme in some respects.  It's trying too hard to be "down wiv the kids, innit!" by going for a more radical look with some of the new comic strips it now features.

  

However, it's all been done before - and to much better effect. Look at this classic DENNIS The MENACE strip from the 1978 DTM book (reprinted from a 1950s BEANO by the look of it), drawn by DAVEY LAW. The art is outrageous enough, even by today's standards, and Law is a master of sequential art - an absolute necessity in telling a story.

 

What's more, the plot is true to life in a way which both children and adults can relate to - and displays a wit and charm sadly lacking in many of today's comics. No zooming around in a ridiculous flying "Dennis-mobile" here. Hey, it's even funny - what more could one want from a comic strip?