SUNDAY BABE Of The DAY - LYNSEY DAWN MCKENZIE...

Interviewed by my bank manageress

recently - LYNSEY DAWN McKENZIE.

Asked me if I'd like a loan, so I said "Yes, can I

borrow you for tonight?"  Her reply?  My lips are

sealed, but the above photo was taken in my bed-

room.  (Yeah, Crivs are sure to buy that story -

it's not far-fetched in the slightest.)

CAPTION COMPETITION...

I first showed this picture several years back, but I reckon it can weather another outing.  I'd been moving stuff around in one of my rooms and noticed this completely inadvertent, un-staged comic scenario: namely, The DALEKS listening intently to the words of their new Emperor, PETER RABBIT!  So I decided to have a caption competition and started things off with a few of my own.

"I've just invented this sonic carrot with which we shall defeat the Doctor!  The future is orange!"

"Okay, Daleks - to the tune of  'Old MacDonald had a Farm' - sing up at the back now..."

"Okay, I'll choose who's going for the chips - eeny-meeny-miny-mo..."

Rolling forward to 2020, here are some more I just thought off.  (Outside of the 'Emperor' scenario.)

"Glad we bought our tickets early - we got the best seats in the house!"

"Boo!  Hiss!  Rubbish!  Get off - we want Frankie Boyle!"

"Who's the guy in the rabbit suit?"

"That's a funny shaped microphone he's holding."

"And when I count down from five, you'll suddenly all think you're naked."

"That's the biggest damn rabbit I ever saw!"

"When I wave this carrot-shaped wand and say 'Abracadabra', you'll all disappear."

"I must be in the wrong conference room - this doesn't look like the Carrot Appreciation Society's Annual gathering."

"There were these two Mechanoids..."

"Oops!  Beam me up, Scotty - quick!"

"Right, you've all got your sales packs - now get out there and SELL!"

"Id like to welcome you all to the first Mormon Daleks worship service.  We'll now sing a hymn."

"Wa-hey!  Get 'em off!"

"That's a rubbish waxwork - it looks nothing like him!"

"Well, it was either him as new Emperor or Donald Trump!  I think we chose wisely."

"Hey, Peter - we want our money back.  Your bouncy castle has no bounce to it."

"This isn't right.  Shouldn't the balcony seats look down at the stage?"

Huh! Tenner a ticket and then the comedian gets stage fright and forgets his routine!  We should've gone to the pictures instead."

"That's the stripper?  But he's only half-dressed to begin with.  What a swizz!"

"I usually use the 'carrot and stick' approach, but I've misplaced my stick."

Okay, all you budding scriptwriters - leave your hilarious attempts in the comments section.  "Or you will be exterminated!"  (No prizes, just the joy and reward of seeing your entry published.)

HERE'S A SHARP LITTLE ROBOT...

I mentioned this robot on MOONBASE CENTRAL blog not long ago, but I couldn't recall where he was stored.  Luckily, I rediscovered him by accident when looking through a box for something else, so here he is.  He's a robot sharpener, and once you've sharpened your pencil, you place a key in the same hole and wind him up (no, not by insulting his robotic parentage) and watch him walk around.  A great wee toy - and a useful implement as well.  What's not to like?

COMPLETE SETS Of U.S. COMICS...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

Following on from my earlier post about my complete sets of UK comics, I thought I'd now turn my attention to complete runs of my US collections, or at least the ones that spring readily to mind.  As is likely with my British comics, I've probably overlooked some American ones too, but don't worry - there'll still be enough pretty pictures of comics covers for you to gaze lovingly and longingly at.

Okay, I'll just list them rather than warble on about them, so let's go.  MARVEL ones first, as they occur to me, not in order of publication.  SILVER SURFER (18 issues), 2001, A SPACE ODYSSEY (10 issues), OMEGA The UNKNOWN (10 issues), The MONSTER Of FRANKENSTEIN (18 issues), The ETERNALS (19 issues & one Annual), X-MEN The EARLY YEARS (17 issues), CONAN CLASSIC (11 issues), DOCTOR WHO (23 issues), MARVEL SUPER-HEROES MEGAZINE (6 issues), SPIDER-MAN MEGAZINE (6 issues), The THING (36 issues), The WORLD'S GREATEST COMICS MAGAZINE (12 issues), GIANT-SIZE FANTASTIC FOUR (6 issues).

Images copyright DC COMICS

DC issues.  NEW GODS (11 issues), FOREVER PEOPLE (11 issues), ORION (25 issues), BLACK MAGIC (9 issues), WEIRD WORLDS (8 issues), WANTED (9 issues), SECRET ORIGINS ('70s, 7 issues, '80s, 50 issues & 3 Annuals), SWAMP THING ('70s, 24 issues), LEGEND Of The BATMAN (3 issues), MAN Of STEEL (6 issues), WORLD OF KRYPTON (4 issues), WORLD Of METROPOLIS (4 issues), WORLD Of SMALLVILLE (4 issues), SUPERMAN The SECRET YEARS (4 issues), LEGENDS (6 issues), The STALKER (4 issues), TOR ('75, 6 issues, '08, 6 issues), BEOWULF (6 issues).

              Images copyright relevant owner               

ATLAS issues.  WULF The BARBARIAN (4 issues), The GRIM GHOST (3 issues).

Anyway, that's all I can think of for the moment.  There are others, but until I see them again to remind me I have them, they'll have to go unheralded.  Any Crivs got any complete sets of the above mags? 

VARIATIONS On A COVER - The AVENGERS...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

"The only good alien... is a dead alien!" could well be the mental motto of DONALD TRUMP.  (What an apt surname for someone who's such an @rse, don't you think?  See?  Comics and politics side-by-side - is there nothing I can't do?)  Anyway, not much that you haven't seen here before, Crivs, aside from the UK version of the cover to The MIGHTY AVENGERS #89 (above).  I've shown the two TRUE BELIEVERS incarnations previously, but I thought it would be handy if I put all four variations together in the one post, so here they are.  Enjoy comparing the differences (if you've nothing better to do).

AT LAST! The RETURN Of SMASH! A PERSONAL REVIEW...

A POWER COMIC.  Copyright REBELLION

Well, 49 years after the last issue of the weekly comic bit the dust, SMASH! returns in the form of a US style comicbook, though only one of the characters in this new incarnation actually appeared in the original periodical.  So who's inside this power-packed publication and do the revived strips cut the mustard?  I'm perfectly willing to share my impressions of the 7 stories, but you may well have other ideas - different horses for different courses as they say.

The SPIDER, JOHNNY FUTURE and The HOUSE Of DOLMANN are solid, entertaining reads, and THUNDERBOLT The AVENGER and MYTEK The MIGHTY are fine, but The STEEL CLAW and CURSITOR DOOM/JASON HYDE strips suffer from an infusion of humour that isn't in accord with their original more serious incarnations and compromises any sense of suspense or drama.  In the latter's case, I suppose it's difficult to match the atmosphere of ERIC BRADBURY's moody artwork, but I'd have preferred something closer to his style.

There'a an absurd scene in the Claw strip where six characters with similar powers to LOUIS CRANDELL (but in different body parts), combine into one villain, which is ridiculous as they've presumably just become invisible like Crandell, not intangible, so they'd simple get in each other's way.  Also, in the Doom/Hyde strip, the bad guy says "You are the one that hordes power" - shouldn't that be 'hoards'?  Where are the proofreaders when they're needed?

The lettering on Thunderbolt is too narrow, and the art on Mytek is smudged and blurred, with what appears to be 'construction' lines in evidence, but overall the mag is worth buying, whether you read Smash! back in the day or not.  Standout artist of the whole ish is CHRIS WESTON, and it would've been nice to see him illustrate Johnny Future.  Not that there's anything wrong with TOM RANEY's art, but Chris's is more like that seen in UK comics back in the '60s.  Some lettering in the Dolmann strip runs off the page, being either the fault of the person responsible for placement, or the pages were reproduced slightly too large.

Anyway, I've included a few images to give you a taste, but like I say, the mag is definitely worth having.  Let's hope it sells out!  And take a look below to see what's coming in 2021.  Exciting or what?!

Incidentally, I see that some comic dealers are asking nearly £11 for this new ish on eBay - talk about chancing their arm?!  ('Free' postage they have the brass neck to say - even though they're charging more than twice the cover price.)  Best to get yours direct from Rebellion if you can't find it in any shops that are open.

DO YOU HAVE AN ORIGINAL IDEAL CAPTAIN ACTION?

I don't, but I do have the PLAYING MANTIS/JOHNNY LIGHTNING reissue from around 20 years ago.  (Actually, I've got two.)  That's him above with a shrink-wrapped replica of the box from the '60s.  I was surprised to discover that though the good Cap's feet can be moved up and down, they can't be turned from side-to-side like ACTION MAN/G.I. JOE or TOMMY GUNN, and I wondered if this was only on the reissue?  If you have an original figure, could you do me a favour and check whether his feet turn sideways, and let me know?  Ta much.

DO YOU CRIVS HAVE ANY COMPLETE SETS OF COMICS? (Updated)

Images copyright their respective owners

I was thinking earlier (I do a fair bit of that) about which full sets of comics I have in my collection, and was surprised to realise I had several more than I'd first estimated.  For example, I have a full set of SUPER DC, a UK monthly comic that lasted for 14 issues, plus I also have the Annual (described as a 'Bumper Book') that accompanied the series.  In fact, I have two complete sets of each.

Then I have a full set of KNOCKOUT from the '70s, comprising 106 issues, two Holiday Specials, and 13 Annuals.  But I'm getting them out of sequence - earlier comics were FANTASTIC and TERRIFIC, the former consisting of 89 issues, one Summer Special and three Annuals, the latter only 43 issues (no Annuals or Specials).

What's next?  All 15 issues of SCREAM!, plus five (I think) Holiday Specials  (I don't think there were any Annuals), as well as all 11 monthly issues of MARVEL UK's INDIANA JONES and its Christmas Special.  Also, all 58 issues of The TITANS weekly comic (and two Annuals), plus all 13 issues of the monthly Pocket Book of the same name, and also complete sets of The FANTASTIC FOUR Pocket Book, and also HULK Pocket Book.

Then there's 54 issues of DCT's The CRUNCH, all 50 issues of Marvel UK's The SUPER-HEROES, all 18 issues of The SAVAGE SWORD Of CONAN, all 19 issues of DC'S The SUPER HEROES, three Annuals and (arguably) two Spectaculars.  Also, not forgetting all 27 DOCTOR WHO CLASSIC COMICS and its Holiday Special.  And that's only British comics, I'll have to have a long hard think about my US ones, so that's a future post.

What have I missed?  Oh, 37 issues of The COMPLETE FANTASTIC FOUR and one Annual (issued after the comic's demise, but prepared while it was still being published).  Then there's all 95 issues of the revamped SMASH!, two (and a half) Summer Specials (the 'half' was combined with a VALIANT SS), and six (IPC) Smash! Annuals.

Oops, also forgot about all 39 issues of CAPTAIN BRITAIN (plus all 14 monthly issues from around the mid-'80s), 11 issues of The DAREDEVILS, all 17 issues (I think) of the first The MIGHTY WORLD Of MARVEL monthly (and Special), plus every single issue (however many that is) of PANINI's MWOM.  Oh, and BIG BEN (18 issues).  Anyway, do any of you Crivs have complete sets, and which one could you never part with.  Feel free to visit the comments section and tell all.

The WORLD'S GREATEST COMICS MAGAZINE COVER GALLERY (Updated)

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Way back in 2001, the first issue of a 12-part limited series made its debut, featuring The FABULOUS FANTASTIC FOUR.  The comic was ever-so-modestly (yes, I can do irony) christened The WORLD'S GREATEST COMICS MAGAZINE, and was a homage to the classic strips by STAN LEE & JACK KIRBY, drawn by various artists emulating (some better than others) the drawing style of Jolly Jack.  However, even the few issues that didn't exactly replicate JK's art style still managed to capture its spirit, and Stan Lee himself even scripted the last in the series.

It was collected into a hardback book in 2011 and, though I actually possess all 12 individual original issues, I've scanned the covers on view here from the collected edition simply because I'm too lazy to hunt through boxes and cupboards to find them.  However, I'm sure all you Crazy Crivs won't mind that in the slightest, so peel back your peepers and enjoy these magnificent MARVEL images in all their glory.  And if you'd like to leave a comment saying how much you appreciate them, then I won't object in the slightest.  (Go on - you know you want to.)

Update: Incidentally, having just re-read the book again, I was reminded of a glaring howler within its pages.  DOCTOR DOOM believes he's killed the Cosmic Quartet (in #6), yet later (in #8) one of his underlings says that The AVENGERS and the FF drove back SUB-MARINER's sea creatures and this elicits no surprise from Doom, who says that Richards can't stop him.  Then, in #11, Doom again says that the FF are dead, but in #12, talks as if Reed's still alive and shows no surprise when challenged by Reed near the end of the story.

Talk about inconsistency.  Maybe, if Marvel ever reprints this book, they can fix this boo-boo by revising the lettering where required.  Anyone else spot this error?

   

And below, if you can bear some slight repetition, are the front and back covers of this valiant volume.  Might still be in print if you'd like to track down a copy.