Isn't it strange how the 'backdrop' to your life can change without you being aware of it until after-the-fact? Example: There's a fella and his wife lived in the flats around the corner from me (same street) for at least 35 years, possibly longer. He was there when we moved back to the neighbourhood after four years away, and for all I know he might've been there when we still lived here the first time.
The pair of us were part of the local doggie-walking club in the late '80s until either the dogs or the owners gradually died. Out of about 14 of us, maybe only about four yet survive (all the dogs are gone), though me and Martin (as he's called) were the only two still in the area. I'd often run into him when he was out walking his new (relatively-speaking) pooch, or when one of us was going to, while the other was coming back from, the local shops.
Anyway, last week I was sitting on a bench in the shopping area, scoffing a soft buttered roll with link sausages and fried onions (yum), when I spotted Martin and hailed him. During the course of our chat, imagine my surprise when he told me that he and his wife had moved from their flat to a house in another neighbourhood quite a distance away around five weeks or so before.
Subconsciously, I'd yet imagined he and his dog were still traversing around the local environs when, in fact, his daily routine now unfolded somewhere else entirely, and that it was unlikely that either of us would run into the other when heading to or back from the shops. But there was even worse news to come. After being in their new house for only around three weeks or thereabouts, Martin came home one day to find his wife Isobel dead from a massive heart attack.
Sadly, I didn't know her very well (only saw her a handful of times in 34-odd years), but what a bummer, eh? He's no longer in the flat where he and his wife brought up their kids and made many happy memories, but he's now in a house where he was denied the time to make any meaningful new memories before she was so suddenly and cruelly taken from him.
I prefer to think that Martin still lives around the corner from me and is yet exercising his doggie around the neighbourhood, and whenever I look out of my window, I sort of imagine I've just missed spotting him by seconds. That way I can pretend that everything is as it's always been (for the last several years at least) and that the friendly face of a decent bloke is still out there to say hello to, instead of in another neighbourhood that I'm unlikely ever to visit.
Two more long-term residents in the street are soon to flit from it, and I'm beginning to feel isolated from friendly faces that have been part of my everyday existence for decades. It's no fun seeing them all moving (or slipping) away, especially as I well-remember when my family was the new one 'on the block'. That feeling is long-gone, but somehow I find myself wishing I could re-experience it - without having to flit somewhere else in order to do it though.
Any of you Crivvies ever feel the same? Or am I just bonkers? And spare a thought for Martin, eh?
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I haven't been back to the house I grew up in since my mother died in 2009 but most of her neighbours in that cul-de-sac were the same ones that lived there in the '70s so I suppose they are all still there now. I remember remarking to my mother that the day would come when all the people in the street would be elderly pensioners receiving meals on wheels and maybe that's the case now!
It's possible that some of them have been taken into care, CJ, or have died - especially if they lived there in the '70s. Often it's the people that make the places, and that's something I bear in mind when I find myself thinking it might be nice to live in one of my former neighbourhoods. Most, if not all of the people with whom I associate any particular place are long flitted or deceased, so it wouldn't be the same.
It wouldn't be the same Kid!You summed it up succinctly.Those memories you have are from a certain time and place that will never be replicated.You can go back and visit them in your mind exactly as you remember them but reality means that places change and people pass on.The circle of life.But the happiness contained in those memories of warm summer days,friendly happy neighbours,kicking football and reading comics are with us forever.When times are hard(We lost our pet dog Odie recently after 13 years )and tears were spilt.But the happy memories far outweigh the sadness of his passing.He was the best dog in the world and he will be with us forever.
Shame about Odie, Triple F. Will you ever consider getting another dog in the fulness of time, do you think? My dog Zara passed nearly 24 years ago, but I'm now too old to think of getting another. Strange thing is, I think of her almost every day.
Sorry to hear about Martin - that must have been an absolutely terrible experience for him, one that I can't even try to imagine, and nor would I want to. Life can be distressing enough without trying to share in somebody else's tragedy.
I get what you mean about thinking that part of your world has remained unchanged since a time that you recall, usually a happy time at that. I have been away from the town I grew up in now for more than twice the number of years that I lived there, and news from home often provides a reality check to the order that time does indeed march on! With one brother and my father still back there they will casually drop into conversation that someone I went to school with or who lived down the street had, to quote: "oh him (or her), they died years ago".
That one never fails to shock me as I will invariably conjure a mental image of the person at the mention of their name, but as I recall them from decades ago, and heaven forbid I see an old face in a newspaper cutting with the caption revealing the person as an ex pupil from one of the schools I attended. Would seeing my face in print provoke a similar reaction from one of them?
The older I get the more I recall my older aunts and uncles and consider that just maybe they would have looked at us in our younger years and wondered where the time went, from the days when they were our age, as I am doing now with our (young adult) neices and nephews, and so the cycle continues.
Still, at least we are still around to ponder such contemplations, as I have mentioned; there are many that began their journey through life at the same time as I did and never made it this far!
I always feel that until I learn that people I once knew have died, they remain alive to me, PC, though it can be a shock to learn that they died decades ago. All those years with me thinking they were still out there somewhere, living their lives to the full, only for me to discover that they expired while I was still a young man. I sometimes drop into the Facebook page (as an observer) for former members of my old secondary school, and I see that happening frequently. Someone will enquire about someone who was in there class in 1967, only to be told that the person died in 1969 - it must be quite a shock. Like you, I sometimes wonder if anyone will be dismayed to learn that I've died and I'm left to conclude that it's unlikely, so I have a cunning plan - I'm going to outlive everyone I know. Thanks for commenting, PC.
Hi Kid,
I recently learned on Facebook that one of my favourite Primary School Teachers had passed away about 20 years ago. However in that intervening period I walked through my old neighbourhood on numerous occasions, which included passing her house and just assumed she was still at home, healthy & enjoying her well deserved retirement. I actually felt very glum for the next few days, not only for her sad early passing but once again was reminded of our shared mortality.
Cheers,
Duncan
That's a shame. In some ways it might have been better NOT to learn that she had passed away, and then you could've believed she was yet alive - at least for another few years anyway. I remember, when visiting one of my former neighbourhoods, being asked by old classmates I'd run into, whether I still lived 'across the road' (my old house was just opposite the Westwood shops), and it made me wonder just how many other people believed I still lived in the area 12 or 13 years after we'd flitted. (Which at the time was around half my life away.)
I just assume many of my neighbours that were my parents age have for the most part passed away, their kids would in all likelihood have moved on , got married,moved city etc. As I moved house so often in my younger years I haven't witnessed to slow changes in towns like you have which must be quite unsettling at times . My current town though certainly has changed in my 15 years her, the population has doubled, more shops opened, a reinstated train station etc but for me those have been mostly positive changes. As I think I mentioned previously all my neighbours bar one all moved ( one sadly died a lovely old Welsh gentleman) in my time here so I'm the longest resident in my row of 9 cottages, maybe one day someone will wonder what happened to that old bloke that lived there for years ( though I am looking to move again soon).
Sounds great where you live, McS, but I assume you and your dear lady will eventually be moving in together (if you haven't already), which is why you're thinking of moving. Hopefully, all my moving days are behind me, as it would be very hard for me to settle in a different place with no history (to me) now that I'm older. Who knows though - maybe I'd feel differently if I won the Lottery, eh?
Stay where your happy Kid. We have lived together for a few years now we were just thinking of moving for a change and if possible to be nearer her elderly mum and dad or just to move to a nicer country area but property prices in our area are going through the roof now.
That means you'll get more for your cottage as well though, even if you have to pay more for another place. So things would hopefully even out.
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