Tuesday, 19 April 2016


Radio Victory

Back in early 1985, I was pursuing my freelance comics
career from a bedsit room in Shearer Rd. in Fratton, Ports-
mouth. I usually had the radio on as I worked, and, one night,
I was listening to a DJ called GEORGE REED (I think) on the
local station, RADIO VICTORY.  (Whose premises were
situated just along the road from me actually.)

George announced his regular 'phone quiz and offered
up the following question for the consideration of his eager
listeners.  "I've got one, you've got one, everybody's got one -
what is it?"  Then he played some records as he waited for folk
to ring in with their suggestions.  Eventually someone did, and
the bold host repeated his question and then asked for the
fellow's answer.  "Is it 'penis'?" came the response.

The caller was immediately cut off and a record was
played while George composed himself.  When he returned
after the song's end, he bemoaned what had happened, saying
that in all the many years that he'd worked on radio (in America
too, he was keen to point out), he'd never once had such a rude
response to one of his questions as the one he'd just had the
misfortune to hear (and inadvertently broadcast).

George then took another call, and a voice (which, to
me, sounded suspiciously similar to the previous one) said
"I'd just like to say how shocked I was to hear that last caller
say 'penis' on the radio..."  You could almost hear George's
internal indecision over how he should respond.  The offending
word had been repeated, but it was in the form of a complaint,
so the repetition was perhaps legitimate - or was it?  George
hesitated and was lost, as the caller continued "...per-
sonally, I thought the answer was 'pr*ck'!"
George spluttered his indignation, while I (and no doubt
his entire audience) had a good laugh.  Truth to tell, George
sounded just a bit too far up himself, and the courts of the uni-
verse demanded that he be brought down a peg.  He was, and
in hilarious fashion too.  His pomposity had been pricked,
justice was served, and all was right with the world.

And what was the real answer to the question?  I'll
have to disappoint you all there, because I can no longer
remember.  I doubt it was as entertaining as the first one
'though.  What do you suppose it might have been?

Update:  I was astonished to discover after posting this
that Radio Victory ceased broadcasting just over a year later
on June 28th, 1986.  It had first started on October 14th 1975,
and was one of the first 19 independent stations to be launched
in the U.K. between 1973 and '76.  It popped up again over the
years in various forms and from different buildings, but
     I last heard it in 1985, 30-odd years ago.    


TC said...

The first thing that occurred to me, I must admit, was what the caller said. But that couldn't be it, anyway, because not "everybody's got one," only males.

I can't help but think of that saying, "Excuses are like anuses, everybody's got one, and they all stink." (Usually, the word used is some vulgar slang term for "anus." BTW, I did google "euphemisms for 'anus,'" but all the substitutes sounded worse.)

That DJ does sound like a pompous stuffed shirt who needed to be taken down a peg.

DeadSpiderEye said...

Mmm, everyone's got one, is it co...

Kid said...

Since publishing this post, TC, I've been racking my brains trying to remember the proper answer, and I was wondering if it's 'name'. Everybody's got a name, right? Or a heart? Any advance on heart? Incidentally, I also first thought of what the caller said when I heard the question. Great minds think alike?


DSE, in all my 24 years of blogging...

(Well, it seems like 24 years.)

baab said...

belly button

Kid said...

Not everyone's got one, Baab. Some people 'lose' them after abdominal operations.

Jeff Austin said...

Based on the world today [and it was probably just as true then] I'd say the answer is...an opinion. Everybody's got one.

Kid said...

That seems to ring a faint bell in the recesses of my mind, JA, so could well be the correct answer. If not, it should be.

Colin Jones said...

A body - everybody's got a body, unless they are a disembodied brain. I'm surprised that "penis" was considered so shocking on the radio in 1985 - after all, it had been 9 years since that Sex Pistols incident on TV in 1976.

paul Mcscotty said...

A shadow?

Kid said...

I suppose a number of things would fit the answer, CJ & McS, but there's something about JA's answer (opinion) that strikes a chord in my memory

Phil said...

Lovely bunch of coconuts ?

Kid said...

Boasting again, eh, Phil?

Colin Jones said...

Kid, if "opinion" was the answer to the quiz then it wasn't a very good one because not everybody has an opinion - try asking a baby if we should leave the EU or not.

Kid said...

A baby might not have an opinion on the EU, CJ, but it'll have an opinion on which baby food it prefers - even if it can't articulate it. (Apart from screaming at the ones it doesn't like.) So everybody has an opinion - on something.

Colin Jones said...

OK, that's true but it was still a stupid quiz because, as you mentioned above, there could be several answers to the question.

Kid said...

Well, that can be said about a lot of questions, CJ (not talking Mathematical ones obviously). Have you ever read any MENSA questions? I think they sometimes come up with the answer first, then work out a question. That's because they could have more than one answer that would apply, but the only one that counts is the 'official' one.

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