Thursday, 23 March 2017


I once knew a woman who feigned friendship with me
so that I'd help out in the little shop she ran.  If a man has a
weakness, it's to feel needed and appreciated by the so-called
'fairer sex', and many a man has been duped by such 'womanly'
wiles.  She was forever proclaiming what a lot she thought of me,
and wanting to hug and kiss me, and overwhelm me with her 'fem-
inine charms'.  It was obvious that this was only to make me more
amenable to her bidding whenever she wanted to use me in some
way, but don't get the wrong idea;  the friendship was merely
platonic, as she was a bit of a tomboy with some disgust-
ing habits that turned my stomach on occasion.

While I was in the shop for six months on my own, I
was visited by a 'mystery shopper', and as a result of my at-
tentive customer relations technique and charming manly-man
manners, I won a prize.  It was £100 worth of gift vouchers and
a bottle of champagne (or cheap equivalent), plus a certificate of
achievement to hang in the shop.  For some reason I now forget,
there was a delay in the presentation, and I'd left the shop's em-
ploy before the prizes were belatedly awarded to the winners.
However, there was a prior agreement between me and my
colleague to split the vouchers, with her also getting
the bottle of champers as I don't drink.

Thing is, she told me I wasn't getting my half as I'd
left the shop before the presentation, and, in her view, the
prize was for the shop, not the person who'd won it.  This of
course was total nonsense, as it had been my sole efforts which
had secured the privilege and plunder, with me being specifically
mentioned (not named, but described) in the mystery shopper's
assessment of why both I and the shop were considered worthy
of reward and award.  It was the equivalent of telling me that
because I'd left the shop's employ before payday, I wasn't
entitled to wages I'd earned before leaving.  Not that
she did that, but, logically, it's the same thing.

So I was robbed of £50 - by a so-called 'friend', who,
once I was of no further use to her, pretty much abandoned
any pretence of friendship past the most superficial of nods in
its direction.  You all know your bold host isn't the sort of per-
son to tolerate such an injustice lying down though, and without
going into the specifics, I made sure her act of theft (for such it
was) did not go unpunished in some (legal) way.  She was a liar,
a thief, a cheat, and a fraud, given to devious manipulation in
pursuit of personal benefit, so she's certainly the type of
'friend' I can easily and happily do without.

Have any of you ever had such a 'friend'?  Feel free
to unburden your soul in our confessional comments sec-
tion.  Go on, spill the beans to your fellow Criv-ites.


Iain B said...

To my mind it was petty and vindictive of your friend not to give you your share. The certificate was for the shop, the vouchers were for you. You're're well rid of her.

paul Mcscotty said...

I think Brian is thinking about larger organisations - I worked in a team for a large org that won a bonus (£1,000) I was part of the team (of 4) and was there for 8 of the 12 months and played more than my part in the work. I left the organisatiion and got nothing and I wouldnt expect it to be honest asit was salaried award and I no longer worked there - thats the way larger orgs wor happens regualarly. Your situation however was different it was a small business (was this the clock shop?) and differnent rules apply - forget the flirting (some NOT ALL women can be like that just as guys can be asses) but she should have given you ALL the money.

A boss of mine (a female to balance up this lady) got a bonus (salary bonus for good performance over the year) so this was on her own work and wasfor hewr alone - and she more than deserved it. She got £2,000 and she split it with her work colleagues (of which I was one) and we all got £300 each - as she said she was only able to do her job becasue we all did ours so it should be split lovley gesture - a great boss and person.

bazarov said...

I used to work for a small department store chain (8-10 locations for most of its history) and each store had a suggestion box. The man who owned the department store visited one location a week, so we saw him once every two months. He would call a meeting and make a big ceremony out of opening the box and reading its contents, and every card or letter praising an employee resulted in a $10 reward. Like you, Kid, these letters rarely referred to the employee by name, but it was a small store so it was often easy to figure out whom the customer was praising. It was therefore always amazing to me the lengths the owner and store manager would go to create enough ambiguity and uncertainly so they could keep from awarding any money. I always tried to be polite and provide excellent service, but this program actually seemed like a disincentive to me due to their petty cheapness. (BTW, the owner was worth around $100 million so handing out $10 wasn't going to kill him!)

Mike said...

Women are no good
PS Please don't tell my wife

moonmando said...

'The same way you make love on your own', ha,ha,ha Kid. That's another euphemism for spending the evening with,'Pam and her five sisters'. Lol

Kid said...

The now absent 'Brian' has proved his real intentions by submitting an (unpublished) insulting comment on another post, so I've deleted his 'wind-up' comments and returned him to the obscurity whence he came. However, the comments by others which touched on what he said, or what I said in response to him, remain. Thought I'd better explain that so that new readers weren't puzzled by references to remarks that no longer exist. Thanks to everyone else above who responded 'though.

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