Saturday, 4 March 2017

SCHOOLTIME SCANDALS INTERLUDE: RHYMES OF THE TIMES...



I had a little poodle dog,
a poodle dog was he.
He lifted up his poodle leg
and 'poodled' up a a tree.

I remember a lad called Adam Cowie telling
me the above rhyme many, many years ago.  It
started me searching my memory for other child-
hood verses that used to do the rounds in the
playground.  Here's a few I remember.

Good King Wenceslas looked out
on the feast of Stephen,
Turned his trousers inside-out
because his bum was freezin'.

Beans, beans, are good for the heart,
the more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel,
beans, beans, for every meal.

Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the burning of the school,
we have tortured every teacher,
we have broken every rule.
We have killed the headmaster
and the cops are on our trail,
but we go marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
teacher hit me with a ruler,
the ruler went all red
and the teacher she fell dead
and we've never seen the old goat since.

The fart is a volcanic eruption,
that comes from the island of Bum.
It passes through the trouser canyon
and comes out as a musical hum.

My mammie said Ah wuz to go
for ma daddy's dinner-o.
Beef an' tatties, mince an' steak,
an' a wee bit currant cake.
Went to the river, couldnae get across,
paid ten bob for an old scabby horse.
Jumped on its back, its bones came a-crack,
had to wait 'til the boat came back.
The boat came back, we a' jumped in,
the boat capsized and we a' fell in,
Singing "Don't be weary, try and be cheery,
don't be weary for we're a' goin' home."

Julius Caesar done a beezer
in the middle of France.
The King of Spain done the same,
but only in his pants.

There are different variations of course
(especially of 'Mine eyes have seen the glory'),
but the above verses are how they were said or
sung in my neck of the woods.  Can you think
of any I may have forgotten?

8 comments:

dangermash said...

One I remember....

My Uncle Billy had a ten foot willy.
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake.
And now it's only two foot four.

Kid said...

Ah, that's right. I remember that one too, although I recall it as 'My friend Billy'.

John Pitt said...

Love the Good King Wenceslas one!
I must know some myself?
I'll put my thinking cap on....

Kid said...

Waiting with anticipation, JP.

John Pitt said...

All I can think of is
Milk, milk, lemonade...
Round the corner
Chocolate's made.
And
We three Beatles of Liverpool are,
One in a taxi, one in a car,
One on a scooter, pipping his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr!

Kid said...

I don't remember hearing these ones, JP, but they may well have done the rounds in my school and just passed me by. The chocolate one sounds vaguely familiar, but I assume there was more to it perhaps?

John Pitt said...

No, that's all there is to it and it was still doing the rounds when my kids were at school, over 200 miles away from mine.
Whilst chanting, you point to
Left nipple, right nipple,
Crotch,
Arris!

Kid said...

I'll have to ask some pals if they remember it. It does sound familiar.

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