Friday, 5 June 2020

CAPTION COMPETITION...



I first showed this picture several years back, but I reckon it can weather another outing.  I'd been moving stuff around in one of my rooms and noticed this completely inadvertent, un-staged comic scenario: namely, The DALEKS listening intently to the words of their new Emperor, PETER RABBIT!  So I decided to have a caption competition and started things off with a few of my own.

"I've just invented this sonic carrot with which we shall defeat the Doctor!  The future is orange!"

"Okay, Daleks - to the tune of  'Old MacDonald had a Farm' - sing up at the back now..."

"Okay, I'll choose who's going for the chips - eeny-meeny-miny-mo..."

Rolling forward to 2020, here are some more I just thought off.  (Outside of the 'Emperor' scenario.)

"Glad we bought our tickets early - we got the best seats in the house!"

"Boo!  Hiss!  Rubbish!  Get off - we want Frankie Boyle!"


"Who's the guy in the rabbit suit?"


"That's a funny shaped microphone he's holding."


"And when I count down from five, you'll suddenly all think you're naked."


"That's the biggest damn rabbit I ever saw!"


"When I wave this carrot-shaped wand and say 'Abracadabra', you'll all disappear."

"I must be in the wrong conference room - this doesn't look like the Carrot Appreciation Society's Annual gathering."

"There were these two Mechanoids..."

"Oops!  Beam me up, Scotty - quick!"

"Right, you've all got your sales packs - now get out there and SELL!"

"Id like to welcome you all to the first Mormon Daleks worship service.  We'll now sing a hymn."

"Wa-hey!  Get 'em off!"

"That's a rubbish waxwork - it looks nothing like him!"

"Well, it was either him as new Emperor or Donald Trump!  I think we chose wisely."

"Hey, Peter - we want our money back.  Your bouncy castle has no bounce to it."

"This isn't right.  Shouldn't the balcony seats look down at the stage?"

Huh! Tenner a ticket and then the comedian gets stage fright and forgets his routine!  We should've gone to the pictures instead."

"That's the stripper?  But he's only half-dressed to begin with.  What a swizz!"

"I usually use the 'carrot and stick' approach, but I've misplaced my stick."

Okay, all you budding scriptwriters - leave your hilarious attempts in the comments section.  "Or you will be exterminated!"  (No prizes, just the joy and reward of seeing your entry published.)