BABE Of The DAY - JENNIFER BEALS...

Lovely JENNIFER BEALS

graces us with her presence today.

Looks sunny in the photo, but clearly

there's a bit of a nip in the air.  (Ooh,

 I am awful - but I like me!)

SCHOOLTIME SCANDALS - PART THIRTEEN: PUSHED IN A PUDDLE...

Scene of the 'crime':  The foot of the grassy slope, several feet along from the stairs.
The puddle was at the edge of the grass in the foreground.  The school is just out of
view on the right side of the photo

Me and Ewan Shepherd weren't exactly what you'd call pals.  However, between classmates, there existed a kind of unwritten rule that it was acceptable, in the absence of one's usual friends, to pass the time in the company of whichever fellow pupil was available when required.  A sort of 'surrogate' pal in effect.

Such was the case on this particular day.  School had finished and Ewan and I found ourselves in each other's company as we exited from the school gates.  We made our way to his house, a mere two minutes (if) away from my own, to dump his schoolbag, but he met with an objection from his mother at going back out again.  He pleaded, begged, cried, and implored until his poor mother relented.  "15 minutes - no more!"

So we made our way to the swingpark beside a playing-field between our two houses.  On the way, we ran into his older sister (Laura Isobel by name), who enquired where he was going and why he wasn't already home.  She then took his hand and started to lead him back towards their house.  Unsurprisingly, Ewan burst into tears and protested that he had permission to be out, but she was having none of it. I timidly piped up at the back "His mum said he could stay out for 15 minutes", whereupon she turned and looked at me as if I were a bad smell.

Then she simply shoved me hard in the chest.  I fell backwards and landed in a large muddy puddle.  As I lay there, spreadeagled and stunned into silence in my surprise, Ewan looked at me, ceased his crying, and burst into the irritating girlish giggle for which he was so renowned and ridiculed in equal measure.  Then he simply turned his back and accompanied his nasty bitch of a sister home.  Treacherous b*st*rd!  This was my reward for my intercession on his behalf?

I would've thought, at the very least, in shame at his sister's behaviour, he'd have assisted me to my feet and apologised for her shocking act, but no, Ewan found it highly amusing.  I was left on my own to extricate myself (with much squelching) from the sodden, muddy puddle and make my way home, there to explain my dufflecoat's soiled condition.

Needless to say, I took nothing to do with the wee pr*ck after that.  Even amongst 'fill-in' friends, a certain degree of loyalty was expected, and Ewan had been found sadly lacking and fallen at the first hurdle.  Perhaps to this day he looks back and wonders why he wasn't particularly popular at primary.  (Certainly not with me anyway.)

If so, guess what?  I could tell him!

Me and Ewan in a class photo.  He's standing on a kerb
behind me, hence the seemingly immense difference in
our height 

RECOMMENDED READING: GOLD KEY STAR TREK SPECTACULAR From IDW...

Images copyright PARAMOUNT & IDW

IDW have just released this 100-page Super Spectacular reprinting GOLD KEY STAR TREK tales from the 1960s and '70s.  It's a neat little package, no doubt intended to whet the appetites of fans for the Gold Key Archive editions, the first of which was released in 2014 and are still ongoing.  (This mag reprints Gold Key issues #s 1, 8 & 14.)

It's reassuring to know that we Brits weren't the only ones to get things wrong with our home-produced Star Trek strips when we first started publishing them; Gold Key were also 'off-model' from the TV series in several ways with their attempts to cash-in on GENE RODDENBERRY's 'space western', as is detailed in an essay by JOSEPH BERENATO.

A great item for all Star Trek and Gold Key fans, killing, as it does, two birds with the one stone.  Available now from all good comics shops.  What're you waiting for?!

I'm sure you can stand repetition, as this is the original