BABE Of The DAY - JACQUELINE BISSETT...

Many years ago, I was on nodding

acquaintance with a girl who was almost the

double of actress JACQUELINE BISSETT

(apart from her hairstyle).  If her character was

even half as impressive as her looks, then who-

ever eventually married her was a very lucky

man.  That applies to both women, it goes

  without saying.  (So why'd I say it?)

ALAN MOORE PUTS FOOT IN MOUTH - AGAIN...

Going by the embarrassing clips I've seen, ALAN MOORE's new film appears to be a low-budget, badly acted and poorly directed piece of amateurish nonsense.  I can't see myself rushing out to join the end of a cinema queue to see it any time soon - or buying the DVD.  The bearded writer claims that Hollywood "clearly hasn't had an idea in the last two or three decades" and that it can "only recycle things that have already been done, or adapt things from media where they weren't intended as films." 

This from a man who has made a career out of recycling other people's characters, and, in many cases, adapting them from books for use in comics.  Surely a prime example of adapting something from one medium for use in another for which it wasn't intended?  Apparently, according to a recent CHANNEL 4 news item, "Alan Moore... is often described as the best graphic novel writer in history."  Presumably by himself, as it's not something I've ever heard said about him.  Sure, he's written a few good superhero yarns, but he's also written a pile of dreary, pretentious, self-indulgent p*sh.

I really wish that someone would call a halt to the relentless publicity machine that continually seeks to present Mr. Moore as some kind of literary genius.  He isn't.  He's an affable enough bloke (when he's not slagging off STAN LEE) who's had his fifteen minutes of fame, but who now seems desperate to prolong his time in the spotlight.  Go back to writing comics for teenage boys, Mr. Moore.  It's something you can actually do when you have a good editor who isn't afraid to say no to some of your wilder ideas.

Or at the very least, give us all a break from your increasingly silly, self-serving pronouncements.

PUTTIN' On The RITZ...

It's a grey, wet, miserable day - so here's

MEL TORME to get your feet tapping and

put a smile on your face.  Sing along now.

BABE Of The DAY - ANNE HATHAWAY...

Now that's what I call a costume!

And ANNE HATHAWAY is what I call

a woman!  And someone without a snow-

ball's chance in hell is what I call myself.

(Though I continue to live in hope.)