Let me tell you a story - a true story. This took place just over two years ago and involves a staff member who works at the Care Home my 104 year-old mother currently resides in. I was leaving one night when I noticed there were no bedsheets or duvets on my mother's bed. Spotting a staff member at the end of the corridor, I said "Excuse me..." in a perfectly polite way. Her eyelids flickered, indicating she had heard me but decided not to answer. "Excuse me" I said again, "there's no bedsheets on my mother's bed." Her response? "Nothing' to do wi' me, I've just started my shift - I don't know what happens through the day" (though she should be informed at the handover) she said, without even looking in my direction. Her tone was contemptuous, and her manner seemed to suggest that I was out of order even speaking to her.
"If I don't tell you, you won't know," I replied, only to be met with a brusque "Ah'll pass it on!" I told her I didn't like her tone and I reported her the next day. Because I couldn't supply her name (didn't know it), my complaint was only partially upheld, though as only two or three staff were on in my mother's wing that night, it should've been easy to determine who the offending party was. Remember when I told you on a previous occasion about finding my mother fully dressed, slumped asleep in her armchair in front of the TV (which was still on, as was the room light) at 1 a.m. in the morning? (I'd gone up to check on something.) I also complained about that, and their response was to start locking the outer doors, clearly to prevent me from making any further early morning discoveries of neglect and incompetence. These doors had never been locked before in the two years my mother had been a resident so you can draw your own conclusions. (The inner doors had a keypad entry system to which I had the code.) When I asked this woman why the doors were suddenly being locked, she sarcastically replied "Cuz Ah fancied a change!"
This Care Home has an inability to replace my mother's hearing aid batteries on a regular basis, often leaving her deaf for hours at a time. Sometimes I would ask this woman to replace them and she'd make the excuse that she had something else to do first. This happened at least a couple of times. An hour later, it was time for me to leave, without being able to communicate with my mother as the staff member had apparently disappeared off the face of the earth. When I asked other members, they said they'd go and get the other woman to do it, but again, there was no show. This happened several times, and I had no alternative but to depart when my visit was over without being able to speak with my mother. It was clear to me that the woman was simply being spiteful to get back at me for complaining about her.
A few months back, I arrived and saw her through the windowed inner doors, lolling against the wall while checking her mobile 'phone. I could hear someone from down the corridor, repeatedly calling "Hello, hello, hello..." so this woman must've heard her too. When she looked up from her mobile and saw me, she walked off in the opposite direction from the source of the voice, presumably to avoid me. Once inside, I soon learned that it was my mother, standing at her door and calling for assistance (I hadn't recognised her voice at first), only to be ignored by this particular staff member. (This was documented in an email at the time.) You couldn't make it up, could you? Management, though, seem determined to protect their staff at the expense of the residents and their relatives and I'm made to feel I'm the problem, not their staff.
And now there have been other developments, which I'll share at a later date.
 |
| Janette Beckinridge |
14 comments:
I'll go out on a limb here and hazard a guess that photo didn't come off of her Employee of the Month award. It's absolutely criminal the way the elderly are treated in much of so-called Western society, just shunted out of sight and ignored. The state of affairs at the couldn't-care-less home where your mother now resides provides a 'shining' example of that.
The people that run the places are all too willing to take your money but less willing to provide anything approaching what you'd call care in return. They certainly don't seem to pass it on to the staff in the form of decent wages so as a consequence they feel they're not payed enough to give a proverbial. That's not in any way excusing the behavior of the staff there. If you had any empathy and concern for the welfare of a fellow human being, which you would assume is the reason you would seek employment in a place where your job is to look after those less able to do so for themselves, you would not carry on like the woman you have brought into the spotlight here.
Don't know if you are familiar with the term 'Karen' (Google it) but I bet she's one.
Quite an apt term, given the latest developments, PC. I threatened them with legal action and exposing them in the media, and tonight (Thursday), I received an email from the manageress (one Michelle Hampson) alleging that I had been threatening staff and touching inappropriately (not sure whether there's a sexual or violent connotation to that or not) and that I had been reported to Police Scotland (who have come nowhere near me). Now, I'm disabled, use a rollator to get around, and would blow over in a strong wind, yet most of the male staff are all younger and bigger than me, but apparently felt threatened when I complained to them about my mother's room door being left open when she was sitting in her bedclothes. As there's a man in the rooms on either side of her, I'm particularly concerned about her privacy and dignity being preserved, which had previously been agreed by management. It's clear to me that they're stockpiling 'ammunition' in the armoury of their own defence in order to cast doubt on my many complaints about them, but photos don't lie. If you'll forgive an expletive - bastards.
I think your expletive is somewhat mild given what you have just recounted! That response from them seems to be the all too common fallback position these days, rather than provide reasons (some would say excuses) for or claim that they'll address whatever the situation is that you are calling them out over, they then attempt to throw shade on your character in the worst way possible by painting you as a menace to society. As you say - bastards.
The email said that there had been complaints about me over many weeks, PC, but if so, why am I only hearing about them now, after I had told them that I was going to seek legal redress against them? I know if I ask who made these alleged complaints they won't tell me, thereby depriving me of the chance to address my accusers' lies directly. I don't even know for sure what the specific nature of the complaints are. Am I supposed to have hit someone, or threatened someone? Or even groped someone? I just don't know. Who knows what evil lies in the hearts of men? I do!
I sympathise with your plight, Kid, and I admire the stand you're taking but getting reported to the police sounds very scary. These kinds of organisations can get very nasty when they are threatened and the phrase "inappropriately touching" is especially concerning as they are trying to paint you as some kind of pervert without having to actually prove anything as it's only your word against theirs.
I'm unsure as to whether they're actually accusing me of this, or just listing the many things they disapprove of, CJ. However, I just discovered what they mean by 'sexual comments, jokes, or propositions'. At the moment, I'm sporting a large white beard (like Buster Merryfield) and quite a number of folk say I look like Santa Claus. My stock reply is "Well, you can sit on my knee if you like and tell me what you want for Christmas." I say it to female friends, male friends, imaginary friends, and there is no sinister or sexual intent behind it, as should be plain to all.
Anyway, a staff member said I looked like Santa, I gave her my customary reply, we both chuckled, and that was it. Now either her or her boss, in their desperate attempt to find ammunition in order to discredit me, say my remark 'caused genuine distress'. Not that I saw from the far corner of my mother's room, it didn't. The woman found it amusing, as was intended. Staggers belief the lengths some people go to, eh? Now they're threatening to deny me access to my mother as though she were their 'property'.
24 July 2026 at 14:04
Kid, this hell hole gets worse, you need to post secret film footage online, or get your Mum out of there, and take away their greedy payday...if you can?
I've been trying to get my mother moved to somewhere else for over two years, AAW, but here's the problem. They send someone to speak to my mother and see if she seems happy where she is. As she has Alzheimer's, she doesn't even know WHERE she is, so she'd be happy anywhere and wouldn't even know she was in a different place. As I have POA and a certificate of incapacity, it's really me they should be asking if I'm happy or not (on my mother's behalf), and I'm definitely NOT. Also, the social worker on the case says that because I've made so many complaints, it's unlikely that another care home would be prepared to take my mother as they wouldn't want the bother. Essentially, by threatening to deny me access to her, my mother is being used as a pawn to try and batter me into submission. Obviously, the care home thinks that if it claims all sorts of complaints about me, that will invalidate the ones I have about them. The social worker says it's what's best for my mother that's the priority, but I say what's best for her should be my decision, not anyone else's. They think they own her.
Kid, you have POA for her welfare so they cannot legally ban you, they would be breaking the law to attempt to do so, by breaching your legal authority due to your Mothers lack of mental capacity. Contact the 'Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman' and tell them your experiences with these A-holes. You tell the home manager, her bully tactics won't help her cover up their disgusting failings, and that you have a right to be concerned about staff attitudes and the poor level of care, and quite frankly, so should she? Push the POA welfare you have for her, stating you have an unbreakable given legal right to visit, that they have to abide by, unless they want to be taken to court...
Thanks for that, AAW, I'll explore that option at the earliest opportunity, probably Monday.
There’s no excuse for that sort of treatment ….to you and your Mom. Not sure why some people have no decency. I couldn’t look in the mirror if I treated someone like that, especially someone in my care.
It's just a job to most of them, G, they don't care at all. You wouldn't believe the things I've heard some staff (so-called 'senior carers') say about residents. They'll never get fired though, 'cos it's too difficult to replace them.
Just shocking treatment but are you sure it's ok to show that persons pic Kid. You know that no matter how horrendous these folk have been they always seem to get away with it. Your poor mum, and so stressful for you
The stress is unbelievable, McS. Maybe that's part of their plan, to 'break' me and make me slink away, defeated. Newspapers seem to get away with printing people's photos with no comeback, so I don't see why I shouldn't. The only good thing is that my mother is completely unaware of when she's being neglected or not being looked after to the full extent she should be, so that's why I have to strive on her behalf.
Post a Comment