"HELL HATH NO FURY..." (Part One)

This true tale I'm about to accurately relate occurred nearly 30 years ago (28 to be precise), yet it still has ramifications on my life to this day.  Perhaps it's a story I should keep to myself as even to be associated with such a topic is immensely embarrassing, though I have a clear conscience and consider myself innocent of any misconduct, and to have been completely beyond reproach in the matter.  (At least to a normal person.)  However, I believe in being honest and I also need to mine my own life experiences from time-to-time in order to have something interesting (or close to it) to write about on Crivens.

So, with that in mind, here's a question for you all.  Do you know the most effective way to make a woman hate you?  Apart from telling her yes, her bum does look big in that, or asking her to repeat herself 'cos you weren't listening.  It's to utterly ignore her and refuse to have anything to do with her.  That seems to annoy the hell out of a certain kind of woman and in some cases provoke them into seeking revenge by any means posssible, even if it means telling the most outrageous lies about you in their unhinged desire to get even.

I once knew such a woman, who worked for a local businessman who I considered a friend.  Turns out he wasn't.  I'll try and give you the 'Reader's Digest Condensed Books' version or we'll be here all week, but I fell out with her after she had offended me on a couple of occasions.  I should perhaps stress at this point that she was what I considered a deeply unattractive woman with a horrible personality, and I strongly suspect she was mentally disturbed.  Never at any point did I have designs on her as she wasn't the kind of woman I'd ever have been interested in.

I used to do drawings and posters for her boss, usually in exchange for little more than a cup of tea or a plate of lasagne from a food outlet in the local shopping centre.  Hey, I was self-employed at the time and doing all right so it wasn't as if I needed extra money.  Her boss usually gave me a lift home most nights in his Merc, presumably because he saw me as someone useful to have around.  He also occasionally cashed cheques for me as he seemed fascinated with the Marvel UK logo on some of them and appeared pleased to be 'associated' with the brand.

Anyway, to speed things along a bit, a while after I'd fallen out with his employee, she pulled her car in behind his one night (blocking its exit from the carpark), opened his passenger door and gave a fulsome (if insincere) apology for offending me.  I have absolutely no doubt her boss had encouraged her to do so, lest he be deprived of a source of posters and art for his various food outlet businesses.  I was still too angry to speak to her and simply ignored her, leading her to storm off saying "Huh, and they say women are huffy!"

I explained to her boss I wasn't yet ready to overlook her previous 'transgressions', and he nodded and said "Try and get along with her for my sake."  Then he ran me home.  Later, I felt a bit bad and petty about ignoring her apology and decided to repair bridges, so the next time I saw her, I said hello and she ignored me.  No skin off my nose, to be honest, because I didn't much like her.  I mentioned to her boss that my olive branch had been rejected and he again requested I try and 'get on with her'.  I was disinclined to oblige him until another person entered the scene.

This is where I introduce 'Susan' into events.  Susan isn't her real name, but I want to spare her any embarrassment should she ever chance to read this post.  Susan worked for the same boss as the other woman and I thought very highly of her and would've done just about anything she asked.  She enquired of me one day whether I was speaking with her fellow employee yet and I explained I'd tried but been rebuffed.  "Maybe you should try again" was all she said.  Doubtless her boss, knowing of my regard for her, had suggested she speak to me on the matter. 

Now, I'd have done anything to please Susan and make her think kindly of me, so I resolved to put things right with the other woman and repair the situation, even though I could easily have lived with matters as they were.  I preferred not to have to speak to her so wrote her a letter which did the trick.  She showed it around to people, including Susan (as I'd suspected she would), and our acquaintanceship was soon once again on an even keel.  Her boss was happy, Susan was happy, and I was - well, at least satisfied with having 'done the right thing'.

Things went swimmingly for a few weeks until the woman was once more rude to me, causing me to fall out with her yet again.  I informed her boss that was it, I had bent over backwards to accommodate her, but it was the last straw and I wouldn't be talking to her ever again and the two of them could kiss goodbye to me ever doing any posters for her unit at any time in the future.

Guess what happened then?  That's a (shocking) tale for next time, and you'll be astounded at the lengths some deranged people will go to in order to 'get even' with those they take against.  Look out for part two - coming soon.