Thursday, 28 November 2013


As regular readers of this blog will know, I spend an inordinate
amount of time looking back on my early years, and one of the things
that recently struck me was just how differently some of my friends'
parents treated me when I was a teenager, as compared to how my
parents treated most of my pals.

For example, whenever any known member of my motley crew
came to the door for me, they were invariably invited in, and quite a
few times my mother would feed the fortunate individual if they called
when she was just about to make something to eat.  If I was having fish
and chips then whatever pal had been fortunate enough to drop in
was also treated to the same culinary delight as myself.

However, it seems to me that, whenever I called in to visit
certain pals, I was kept waiting at the door if it was answered by a
parent - and one time, calling in on one particular pal at a prearranged
time in order to go somewhere, I was told "He's still in his bed!" and
had the door closed on my face.  Sorely tempted as I was to say "Well,
get him out of bed then!", my somewhat lame "He's expecting me!" as
the gap in the door narrowed had no effect.  On the other hand, if ever
I was in my bed when a friend called, they were still invited in and
I would be told to rouse myself as quickly as possible.

I can't recall, with one possible exception, any of my friends'
parents ever feeding me if I should mistime my visit and chap their
door when they were fixing on getting around to eating.  Usually I'd
be told "He's just about to have his tea!" and find myself staring at a
door.  And I'd imagine it was the same for any other friends that called,
not just me - although I can't prove it, so maybe I just gave off the
wrong vibes.  Can't see how 'though - I was never a ned and
certainly didn't dress (or behave) like one.

Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone I know, as some
pals never called at food-times - or vice-versa - but it happened
in the case of a few long-term regulars.  I guess I'll just have to put
it down to my parents being better-mannered and more welcoming
than those of some of my pals.  Names are withheld, of course,
to spare the blushes of the guilty parties.


Arfon Jones said...

I can recall (an arranged meeting) one time and being invited in only to stand in their kitchen as they all had their tea... making 'polite' conversation between mouthfuls. Being around 8 or 9 at I didn't know any better, I was there for the whole's funny reflecting on these things!

Kid said...

You'd think they would at least have given you a cup of tea and a biscuit and sat you in the living room, eh? Some parents don't have a clue. Look on the bright side 'though - at least they invited you in instead of closing the door in your face. As you say, 'funny' looking back on those days.

Arfon Jones said...

Exactly, I’ve been a parent for 11 years now and I although I can’t recall a time someone has called during supper. I have often had the ‘wait in the living room as she gets ready’ scenario an awkward moment of talking about school and other matters that kids might be able to chat about interrupted by bouts of “are you ready yet” at the bottom of the stairs. Biscuits are always offered, and a few have left the premises with a bag of crisps. Happened fairly recently, so I have been thinking about this prior to your post. That one time stands out 30 years on!
Oh I have been meaning to drop you a line for some time sir, love your work and I love the site!

Kid said...

Thank you, sir. You may have noticed that I've become a member of your site and added it to my blog list.

Gey Blabby said...

My mother didn't force us to do much, but she did insist that myself and my brothers all sat down together at a certain time for our tea. If we tried to gobble it down in order to get back out quicker, she would put us in our place sharpish. I can't think of a single instance when a pal would come to the door during that period, simply because they all knew that was a no-go time. Likewise, we wouldn't go to their door because we knew that we'd be sent packing. People weren't being unfriendly, I don't think; it was just a short period that was reserved for family, and occasionally visitors and relations. On the other hand, people who called at any other time were always made welcome.

Arfon Jones said...

I had indeed, I was honored (thank you) It's nice 'meeting' like minded folk such as yourself :)

Kid said...

Under normal circumstances, GB, most Scots seemed to have their tea at the same time (at least in my town), so such events were, I suppose, relatively rare in the overall scheme of things. However, there were times when some folk didn't have their tea at the usual hour, which was when such events occurred. But, forgetting the food aspect for the moment, telling someone (as in my case) that the person they've called for is in his bed, rather than getting them up, when the visitor (me) has made the effort to keep a prearranged 'appointment' does strike me as rather rude and inconsiderate - especially when such a thing didn't happen in reverse.


Likewise, AJ.

Gey Blabby said...

You're right, of course. Pals from two doors down would be expected to know the score, whereas a visitor from Paisley or Glasgow would certainly be made welcome. And if I had made an appointment to meet someone and then gone to bed, my mother would've been mortified and dragged me out by my ears.

Kid said...

Worst thing is, GB - he hadn't gone to bed, he just hadn't gotten out of it yet. It was a Saturday morning, about half ten, so I though his mother was over-indulging him just a tad.

On an earlier occasion, when I was about 14, I called on another pal one Saturday morning (probably around the same a.m., maybe later) and it was the same scenario. However, it was snowing and I'd had to walk a fair distance, so his mother's "He's still in his bed" followed by a closed door really annoyed me. Some people are just ignorant.

baab said...

This happened to me on tuesday night!

I was invited round to my cousins and when I arrived I was greeted with,"Did you not get my text?"

I just took my coat off and sat for half an hour then left.
They wanted to get their dinner and did not want anyone there.
I reckon they just did not want to share,not that I would have wanted any.

I would not do this,an extra chair and plate would appear.

Kid said...

Is your cousin still on your Christmas card list, Baab? Invite him around for Christmas day - then have your dinner in front of him and not give him any. Hee hee.

DeadSpiderEye said...

It's funny that, I only remember one mate coming round during a mealtime when I was a kid. He didn't seem to keen to share the repast and mum saved him the best trotter too, one with plenty of hair between the toes, mmmmm.

Kid said...

Ah, but you forgot to comb it, hence his reluctance, DSE.

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