A guy I used to know once said to me "The trouble with the British is that we're moaners, not complainers!" Could be he was right, could be he was wrong, but I found it ironic that he fell under that description himself. We used to 'do lunch' regularly, and he'd sometimes say "These beans are cold" or "They've given me a buttered roll and I asked for a plain one", but when I suggested that he mention it to staff, he wouldn't - but would still leave a tip (when it was his turn to pay), even though he was dissatisfied with the food and/or the service.
I mentioned to him a couple of times that he was just as bad at moaning and not complaining as anyone, but he'd say "There's no point making a fuss, I'll just not go back there." I replied that there was no need to make a fuss, but that it was entirely possible to politely say that something wasn't quite right in a way that wasn't likely to offend anyone. Y'know, like "Excuse me, I hope you won't mind me mentioning it, but the beans are a bit cold." What's wrong with that? But no, he much preferred to stew in his own juice and not say anything.
It occurs to me that, his way, the staff were deprived of the opportunity to put things right and - more importantly - to learn from their mistake and avoid repeating it in the future with other patrons. People will never know they're doing something wrong unless they're alerted to the fact and given the chance to fix it (and thereby improve), but this obvious truth was either beyond his comprehension or he was just another moaner of the kind he liked to moan about (or both). Funny that he couldn't see that truth for himself. People, eh?
Anyway, with that in mind, how would you describe yourself? Are you a moaner or a complainer - and do you have any true-life examples with which to regale us by way of illustrating your point? Go on, give it a try! You wouldn't want me to moan about lack of comments, now would you?
Anyway, with that in mind, how would you describe yourself? Are you a moaner or a complainer - and do you have any true-life examples with which to regale us by way of illustrating your point? Go on, give it a try! You wouldn't want me to moan about lack of comments, now would you?
4 comments:
Kid, I'd have to consider myself a complainer; if I am not happy about something then I will lodge a complaint to the relevant parties. However, lodging a complaint and having something done about it are two different things! I travel daily on public transport and have lodged complaints about the service, or lack thereof, only to then be the recipient of generic feedback emails to the effect that my complaint has been noted and passed on to the department overseeing such matters. And of course nothing changes. One can't help but be a touch cynical after several such occurrences so if nothing else the complaining becomes more therapeutic than constructive, but what can you do? However, it's not all in vain, I have complained about various issues in the workplace over the years (none that that spring specifically to mind - we are going back quite quite some time here!) and had them addressed so all is not in vain.
'Complainer' is probably a word that doesn't quite cover what I mean, PC, because bringing something that isn't quite right to someone's attention isn't always a 'complaint' as such - it depends on the way you do it. For instance, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but this steak pie is cold in the middle" isn't really a complaint unless it's accompanied by "It's a darn disgrace, I paid good money for this, I expect it to be cooked properly, that's the second time this week", etc. I prefer to view it as 'bringing something to someone's attention' with a view to getting it put right, and I think that's what you've been doing in the instances you mention. I think it's more of a complaint when one is reporting, for example, a shop assistant's poor or rude attitude - then it falls into the category of a complaint, and quite rightly so. Good to hear that you managed to at least get some things put right.
I must admit I'm usually a moaner but my father was definitely a complainer - in fact, he seemed to relish complaining and he said we should always stand up for ourselves or we'll get trampled on.
And your father was most probably right, CJ. I prefer to take the soft approach when 'complaining', but I can soon switch to full-on 'assault' mode if required. (Verbal assault that is.)
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