Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Mobile 'phones? Mobile ruddy 'phones? Don't get me started! Am I alone in considering them to be the most irritating, infuriating, antisocial invention of modern times? Help me salvage some rapidly-fading remnant of my hard-pressed sanity and tell me that I'm not the only person on the planet who thinks so.
Don't get me wrong though. Mobiles are all very well - in their place! And that place is for making or receiving important calls which, if missed, could leave us knee-deep in the soft, smelly brown stuff. The trouble is, however, that very few calls or texts actually fall into that category.
The telephone, once a practical and useful tool, has now been demoted to a mere toy - an idle distraction for the easily bored and the feeble-minded, who can never be content to simply be alone with their thoughts on account of not having any to begin with; who have absolutely nothing to say worth saying, but, thanks to the workings of a perverse fate, now have the technology with which to say or text it anyway.
Example: "wot r u up 2 did u c big bruv last nite c u l8r"
Just think - all over the world, literally millions of people are exchanging such pointless, badly-spelt and punctuation-free drivel countless times a day. And simply because they can, not because they actually need to.
"But if people are using their mobiles to keep in touch, then in what way are they being antisocial?" you might ask. Pay attention the next time you see a group of people anywhere. It's not uncommon to see friends or partners oblivious to one another as they gab or text away on their mobiles to someone else. Why not just go out with the person on their 'phone if they'd seemingly rather talk to them at the expense of whoever they're with?
That's why they're antisocial. They drive a wedge between actual physical company and divert the attention of those who should be interacting with each other, as opposed to some ethereal voice or illiterate text on a mobile. If you were out with some friends who barely spoke a word to you because they were engrossed in deep conversation with one another, it's a safe bet that you wouldn't be too impressed by their manners.
So in what way is it any less rude to ignore those you're with to talk or text on a mobile to someone else? That disembodied master or mistress whose imperious summons (heralded not by a heavenly fanfare, but rather a tacky and irritating ring-tone) must be answered immediately and cannot be ignored.
Well, excuse me, but I've always thought that technology was supposed to be at our disposal and for our convenience, not the other way around. Hear that mobile ring - see its slave give a convincing impression of someone who's just had a tub of itching powder dumped down the back of their neck as, seemingly in the throes of spasm, they frantically check every pocket or aperture that fashion provides in order to obtain their regular fix of 'mobile madness'.
This madness, however, isn't confined only to adults. Children as young as 11 or 12 are falling victim to Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI), brought on by continually texting their friends. RSI? That's got to be one hell of a lot of texting!
How sad. Where kids once merrily played together in fields and parks or each others' gardens, they now spend a disproportionate amount of time in their rooms texting (or emailing) their pals, instead of interacting together face-to-face. And, just like 'adults', when they are with their pals, they often ignore them while they text friends who are elsewhere.
"A fool and his money are soon parted" runs the old saying. Considering the obscene profits reaped by mobile 'phone companies from the exchange of unnecessary communications between simpletons, it's plain to see that this maxim is true many millions of times over.
So, let me ask you a question. Do you possess a mobile 'phone? Or does a mobile 'phone possess you?
Posted by Kid at Wednesday, January 22, 2014