I was in a new shop called HOME BARGAINS today* (it's new in our shopping centre anyway) and saw a portable door chime kit at a very reasonable price. Back home, in preparation for fitting it, I first had to remove the old one which no longer worked (and hadn't for some time). That's when the memories resurfaced of an earlier house and an earlier time from around 30 years ago.
(*Remember, this was first posted in 2015.)
You see, dear reader, I'd first purchased that doorbell when I lived in that other house, which was the one it was intended for. I probably bought it at least a year before we moved back to my present abode (regular readers know the story), but I simply never got around to it. However, I had first envisioned it on that other front door, and even though I've passed it on my way in and out of my present address for around 25 years (I was back here for about two years before I had it fitted), I still mainly associate it with my previous home. With one exception that is, which I am now about to relate.
I say 'doorbell', but it was actually an ARCHER intercom set I'd purchased in TANDY. My reason for acquiring it was so that my elderly parents could check who was at the front door before opening it, but it proved to be an utterly futile ambition. When I eventually got around to having it fitted (in my present house, remember), I carefully explained the rather easy procedure for operating it, which was this. "When someone rings the bell, turn on the intercom, then press the button clearly marked 'push/talk' and ask who it is. When you've done that, let go of the button in order to hear the response. Got that? Turn on - push/talk - let go/listen." I demonstrated it several times, but they simply couldn't get the hang of it.
I'd go to the front door, ring the bell, and, my father would forget to press the 'on' button to activate the thing. He would simply press the 'push/talk' button, but because the intercom wasn't switched on, I couldn't hear him. Again I would demonstrate the simple three part procedure: "Turn on intercom when you hear the bell, press the 'push/talk' button to ask who's at the door, let go of the button to listen to the response." In my impatience, I felt that teaching retarded chimps how to clap their hands would've been far easier, so uncoordinated and uncomprehending were they in following my simple instructions.
I was driven to frustration and tempted to bang my head off the wall - ironically akin to what it felt I was already doing in trying (and failing) to impart enlightenment to my parents. I could've house-trained an incontinent puppy sooner than it seemed I'd ever be able to teach them those three simple basic steps. "NO! Turn the bloody thing on first. Look - (Click!) Now press the 'push/talk' button and speak - (Press!) 'Hello, who's there?' Now let go of the 'push/talk' button and listen - 'It's the Milk Man come for his money!' Now how bloody difficult is that, for feck's feckin' sake? Aaaarggghhhh!"
They still couldn't do it. Even when they remembered to turn it on first, they'd forget to let go of the 'push/talk' button after speaking, so they couldn't hear me at the door shouting "Let go of the feckin' push/talk button for feck's sake - how many feckin' times do I have to tell you?" Sometimes my father would push the button, speak, forget to let go, then suddenly remember, by which time I (or whoever was at the door) had finished replying. As there was no answer (already having been given) he would ask again, "Who's there?", but he would forget to press the 'push/talk' button first so he was talking to himself.
"It doesn't work!" was their blunt assessment of the device designed to protect them from dodgy characters at the front door. "No, IT works, it's your BRAINS that don't!" were the tender, loving words from their dutiful, affectionate and caring son. It was pointless to persist. They never used it and I soon gave up trying to show them how simple it was. What is it about getting older that turns the brain to mush? I hope I'm not that bereft of comprehension when I'm the age they were then. Of course, it may simply have been that my parents thought there was nothing any mere youth could teach them, and therefore paid no more than superficial heed to my 'technical' instructions.
Anyway, a new bell is now fitted, but - worn and non-working as the old intercom set now is - I don't think I'll ever throw it out. Too many memories, and, the above tale apart, mainly associated with the previous home for which it was originally intended. Funny that, eh?
13 comments:
Sounds like my mother trying to understand our new microwave oven in the early '80s - but she was only about 50 at the time.
I can perfectly understand why you'd keep it.
Funny thing is, CJ, although technology gets more sophisticated, it's supposed to be easier to use. It probably is for younger people, but older folk past a certain age struggle to understand things. Perhaps technology nowadays is too simple to operate (ruling out the Internet for a moment) and that confuses them? After all, the intercom was simplicity itself.
******
Yeah, it reminds me of my other room in my other house, MW. It should've been fitted on that front door, but at least it eventually got installed in my current house, even if it was never used for the purpose intended. It just became a doorbell.
You should have drawn a cartoon on how to work it and stuck it by the door!
Nah, they wouldn't have got that either, PS. Trying to decipher any kind of instructional illustration was also beyond them, sadly.
My in laws got a new TV the other day and they're 84/87 respectively but it was a total nightmare setting it up. It would have cost them £50 to have the company we bought it from to set it up as they said to me " that's because it's quite tricky to do.. " so thought I'll do it for them, nearly broke my patience and took me ages to do so how an older person can do this is beyond me. Saying that we got a Ring doorbell\camera and it was a doddle to set up ditto setting up my internet extension so I could get internet in our wee outhouse,( my office while working from home) most other things I find so complicated .
I can understand that some things are 'tricky' to set up, McS, because technology is so advanced these days (depends what it is I suppose), but once it HAS been set up, it's usually relatively easy to use. Obviously my parents would never have been able to install the intercom, but I just couldn't understand their inability to do three simple things in sequence, especially as it was only clicking a switch, pushing a button, and then letting go of the button. I dread what's in front of me if that's what I'll be like in a few years. Scary, isn't it?
Guess dad never operated a walkie-talkie eh.
I just got a new iPhone and I’m still trying to figure out the new apps .
I'd imagine he did during World War II, PS, but that would've been more than half his life away at the time. My 'phone just makes calls and sends texts, can't download anything on it. (Only cost a tenner brand new.)
I reckon your parents were just ahead of their time, Kid. If it ain’t intuitive to use, it ain’t worth the hassle.
Perhaps, B, but that could apply to a hell of a lot of technology.
Kid, I didn't know you could buy such simple phones any more! Using my phone's apps I can read Crivens, watch YouTube, check my Halifax balance, see my latest BT bill and listen to Radio 4 programmes on BBC Sounds - but its' No.1 purpose is still as a back-up in case my landline goes down!
My 'phone usually costs more, but there was an offer on at the time, CJ. I don't need it to do anything more than it does, so I'm a happy chappie.
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