Thursday, 17 May 2012

THE STARTLING SECRET ORIGIN OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR...



(Today's post is taken from Roddy Weed's blog and is published
with full permission - take it away, Roddy...)

******  

Hi, fans - I'm RODDY WEED and I'm back again with a few fascinating
facts (that you already know) and loads of fantastic throwaway theories
to amaze and astound you ('cos they're so far-out) on this, the world's
greatest blogazine - DIAL 'B' FOR BULLSH*T

Think you know the origin of the FANTASTIC FOUR? Well, I, Roddy
Weed, am about to give you the real, honest-to-goodness lowdown on the
true origin of the fabulous foursome created by STAN LEE and JACK
KIRBY in 1961. For instance, did you know that the actual predecessors
of the FF were ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRY MEN? Hard to believe?
Well, I, Roddy Weed, writer of the greatest blogazine in the history of
the world, am going to prove it to you right now.

ROBIN OF LOXLEY, otherwise known as the outlaw, ROBIN
HOOD, had four main companions in his band of SHERWOOD FOREST
followers. Namely, LITTLE JOHN, WILL SCARLET, FRIAR TUCK, and
MAID MARION. Pay attention now, while I exclusively reveal to you the
astounding, irrefutable conclusions of many minutes of painstaking
research and several seconds of convoluted contemplation on the
pertinent points which prompted my cataclysmic claim.


REED RICHARDS is clearly based on Robin Hood because he's
the leader of the FF in the same way that Robin is chief of his merry
men. Also, Reed's stretching powers mirror the expanse-spanning reach
that Robin's arrows allow him in his quest for justice, enabling him to
smite his enemies without having to get too close to them.

BEN GRIMM is obviously an amalgam of Litttle John and Friar
Tuck; John is grim-meined (hence Ben's surname) and a man of great
strength, while Tuck, despite his ungainly appearance (just like Ben's)
has a heart of gold and is possessed of a nobility of spirit that echoes his
modern-day counterpart. Likewise, Ben's orange-hued epidermis is
reminiscent of Tuck's ruddy complexion.

JOHNNY STORM is undoubtedly Will Scarlet - the colour of his
fiery alter-ego being the living emodiment of Will's surname. Just like
Will, Johhny can sometimes be a bit hot-headed (willful even), further
confirming the uncanny similarities between the two men. No doubt Will
often used flaming arrows to bring his enemies low, just as Johnny
has done when tossing his fireballs at the bad guys.

SUSAN STORM is inarguably the modern-day equivalent of Maid
Marion. Firstly, she is the only permanent female member of the group
(just as Marion was), and what's more, she eventually married the group's
leader, providing persuasive proof that the Fantastic Four were (perhaps -
maybe - probably - more than likely - oh, what the hell -) definitely
inspired and based upon Robin Hood and his merry band.


Not convinced? Consider PRINCE JOHN then. Transparently the
archetype upon whom the FF's arch-foe, DOCTOR DOOM, is based. Just
like Prince John, Doom lives in a castle; just like John, who conceals his
true persona under the guise of a benign ruler of his country, Doom hides
his true visage under a mask. And in the same way that John hates Robin
and his merry men and tries to destroy them, Doom's ultimate goal is to
eradicate Reed and his team-mates from the face of the Earth.

The similarities are simply stunning, and 'tis only I, Roddy Weed,
who - despite all these glaring clues staring everyone in the face for years -
has recognised their significance and has pieced them together using my
highly imaginative and creative brain (and a few reefers) to educate and
enlighten your dull and dreary lives and save you from the tedium of
your vapid and pointless existence.

This is I, Roddy Weed, creator of the world's greatest blogazine,
signing off for the forseeable future - so that you'll all miss me and
pine for my return. (What will you do without me?)     

4 comments:

Steve Does Comics said...

The Fantastic four is actually based on Father Ted.

The leader Reed Richards is Ted.

The youthful Johnny Storm is Father Dougal.

The rough and ready Thing is Father Jack.

The oft-neglected Invisible Girl/Woman is Mrs Doyle.

Manhattan Island is Craggy Island, and the Baxter Building is their house.

The villainous Dr Doom is Bishop Brennan.

I can't believe this has never been never mentioned in the official histories.

Kid said...

Steve, I contacted Roddy and this is what he said:

"I, Roddy Reed, writer of the greatest blogazine in the world, am, of course, aware of the similarities between the FF and Father Ted's group, but you have it backwards - the FF existed before Ted, so clearly Father Ted is actually based on the FF and not the other way around."

Wow! He's just so amazing, isn't he? Let's all pray he hurries back soon.

Bill said...

The parody blog is the wave of the future. (Everyone knows the FF were based on the THREE MUSKETEERS)

Bill said...

Great parody blog (Everyone knows the FF were based on ancient cave paintings discovered by Kirby during WOrld War 2 while waiting to ambush Nazis.)