MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES - REVEALED...

Copyright relevant owner

Here's a great book from 2011 which I only recently learned about when I saw it on Super Stuff in the Bronze Age blog (see sidebar).  There's not a lot of reading in it as it's only got 156 pages (not counting covers and endpapers), but there seems more to it as it's printed on high-quality thick paper within hardback covers, and, anyway, it's the pictures that make this book worth having.  Remember all those mail-order ads you used to see in US comics as a kid or teen that made you wish you lived in America?  They're here in this volume along with photos of the actual items themselves, and, trust me, if you still have a sense of envy about what our Stateside cousins had access to that we didn't, this book will likely knock it out of you pretty quickly.

Remember X-Ray Spex?  How they got away with that protruding nipple on the backing card is beyond me, but there it is to remind you to replace that broken coat-hook in the hall.  Some years ago I managed to buy a pair (of spex, not nipples), but without such daring and tantalising packaging, and they're as disappointing as you could imagine if you thought they'd really allow you to perv at women.  Actually, the ones I got were called X-Ray Gogs, but they 'worked' in the same way - as in not at all.  Surely it's well-past time for somebody to create an operational pair.  (Again, X-Ray Spex, not nipples - the latter have been available for a good long while now.)

Then there was the Polaris Nuclear Sub (above) - what boy wouldn't have loved to own one of these?  If it had been as impressive as they illustration led you to believe, that is.  But check out the photo - it was essentially a cardboard box that would've collapsed over you if you took it outside and it rained.  Maybe, if you were an imaginative child, you could've pretended there'd been a radiation leak and the sub had melted.   Well, you get what you pay for I suppose, eh?  There was also a Jet "Rocket" Space Ship for those who were more interested in exploring the 'final frontier' (in their imagination) than the ocean floor.

The 6-Foot Monster-Size Monsters posters actually look quite good - I wouldn't have minded owning them when I was a boy - or now, in fact.  However, compare the over-sized 'bolts' on the poster to the ad itself.  As all true Frankenstein fans know, they weren't bolts, they were electrodes and nowhere near as big.  To me, this looks like a clumsy touch-up job to accentuate their appearance and it detracts from the overall effect.  One thing that bugs me about the pic is that the posters are partially concealed by the 'wrappers', and I'd have preferred to see Frankie and Dracula in all their unobscured glory.  Why do designers of such books often do this?  I just wish they'd leave well enough alone - it's so annoying when they don't.

And let's not forget the famous Sea-Monkeys/Horses, above.  Anyway, read the spiel on the back cover and decide whether this is a book you'd like.  It's now out of print and therefore pretty pricey on eBay, though as it seems readily available, I consider some of the sellers' high asking prices a little optimistic.  It is a nice book though, and it's good to finally see photos of what you'd have wasted your pocket-money on had the items featured within been readily available in Britain.  Take consolation from the fact that you were likely spared immense disappointment in most cases.  Incidentally, Crivs, there are luminous aspects to the front and back covers, but I'll leave you to explore that feature for yourselves, should you decide to buy a copy.