Regular readers may remember me mentioning living down in Southsea in Portsmouth for 3-4 months back in 1981. I was there in response to the invitation from a friend to visit him for an indefinite stay, but when I got there he stayed well-clear, and apart from me seeing him for around 10 minutes at his naval base (HMS Vernon) the day after my arrival, and again for maybe 15-20 minutes in a canteen at Haslar Hospital in Gosport the week before I returned home, the only other time our paths crossed was when I spotted him by chance on his Moped one day and waved him down for a few minutes of chat.
His birthday was on February 17th so I'd bought a card for him, but held on to it as I assumed I'd see him before his 'big day' and could give it to him in person - alas, 'twas not to be. (I'd arrived in Southsea towards the end of January and purchased the card at the start of February.) Like I said, things didn't pan out that way, but it's just as well I didn't post it because he wouldn't have received it anyway as he was no longer living in navy married quarters, but on the base in Gosport or Portsmouth (as I learned when I last saw him). I never spoke to him again and only learned in September of 2023 that he died in January of 2013.
As for the birthday card, it came home with me and lay forgotten in a box for 44 years, but I recently thought of a way whereby it could finally fulfil its purpose (sort of) by placing it on my mantlepiece in February of this year. Sure, its intended recipient never got to see it, but I felt kind of sorry for it and wanted it to have its moment of 'glory' by being the object of attention in my living-room on the date it would've celebrated back in 1981. This way, things have come full circle (again, sort of) and the forgotten card at long last has done what it was purchased for so many decades ago. That's a happy ending (sort of), isn't it?
4 comments:
I think it's a rather melancholy thing to do, Kid, but I can understand that it somehow brings a sense of closure to that whole episode in 1981. It must have been mystifying and hurtful for you to head down south and then be "ghosted" (as the young people say) by your friend. Do you ever have a yearning to jump on a train and head back to Pompey to revisit old haunts?
I returned to Pompey in 1985 at the start of my freelance career and was there for another 3 months at least, but although I do have yearnings to revisit from time-to-time, I'm not sure I could withstand the rigours of the journey, B. Also, to see how the place has changed (no Tricorn, no Debenhams, no Lloyds Bank next to the fountain, no HMS Vernon or Haslar Hospital, etc.), well, it might be too much for me. (Is Landports still there?) Maybe one day I'll return again, but not in the near future. (I spent a few days there in 1985 or '86, just for a short break.)
Beware open-ended invitations! Many years ago, a friend working abroad invited myself and another friend to visit him. Flights booked, our friend working abroad suddenly announced he couldn't put us up, as - on that date - he'd be attending a football match with friends. Other commitments were taking up his time, besides. Such individuals make commitments - or what seem like commitments - whilst still wanting to keep all their options open. It's like they don't feel constrained by any particular arrangement. Your friend's uncharacteristic behaviour - lies, etc - wasn't always his want, so I suppose his invitation falling flat couldn't have been predicted. My friend, in retrospect, didn't honour another commitment previously. This failure happening outside of our friendship group, however, a 'blip' was all I viewed that as, rather than a pattern of behaviour, relating specifically to his own character. The money lost on that debacle isn't something I've forgotten - nor did the other friend who lost money
Phillip
Actually, P, telling lies was totally characteristic of him, and I'd told him in December of 1980 that I'd be coming down in the New Year, but that I'd get my own place to stay so as not to inconvenience him and his wife. What mystified me was his seeming unwillingness to meet up from time-to-time considering it was him who invited me. I wasn't really out of any money (aside from the cost of the fare) so that didn't really bother me, but I do have my suspicions about his behaviour. See my post 'The True-Life Tale Of Nicky Hunt...' for details - it's the same guy.
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