At 104-years-old, my mother's time on this planet is more than likely extremely limited, yet Meadowbrook Care Home, and in particular Mr. Ashleigh Walmsley, continue to prevent me from visiting her. So I ask those of you who may have a view, just what do you think of the kind of place and type of person who'd deny an elderly woman with Alzheimer's and cancer visits from her son, just to get back at him for telling them a few home-truths about themselves? My mother is being used as a weapon to punish me, as though she is their property to do with as they like. Even though I have POA and a certificate of incapacity, my wishes to have her moved elsewhere are being impeded by a system that makes it next to impossible.
What's just as bad is that Social Work say she's well-looked-after where she is, though you've seen the photos and heard the horror stories which prove such claims are highly inaccurate, to say the least. As I've said before, care should consist of far more that just feeding and watering the residents. Cleanliness of their rooms and toilet seats, and making sure they can hear at all times should be a priority, but seemingly not so at Meadowbrook - despite their falsified records. (And I can back that up with time and dated photographs, emails, and video footage.)
Just what kind of world do we live in when this sort of thing is allowed to happen?
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My own news is I'm awaiting delivery of a mobility scooter as my legs continue to atrophy and the mere act of walking is getting far too difficult for me, even with my current Rollator. If I had a choice in the matter I'd do without it, but then I'd have to stay at home more and not get out of the house. That's my soon-to-arrive state-of-the-art 'Bat-scooter' below.
19 comments:
Kid, I feel sorry for you and your Mother. I'm afraid I would have probably been arrested by now? I was hoping they would offer you an olive branch, but it seems it's just more of the same cruelty from them. Nice wheels, you can ram raid the home now...maybe protest outside, you can take supplies with you now. I assume no legal or official body has shown any interest in your plight then? Terrible world we live in...
Have you considered contacting a solicitor as regarding your being blocked from seeing your mother?
Regardless of whether or not their allegations had any validity or not the situation with them banning you from visiting your elderly/ill mum is totally outrageous. The fact their allegations just seem to be spurious makes this decision dubious if not out and out illegal.
I had no idea your mobility was so bad Kid, hopefully this will help you. That scooter looks pretty cool
They asked Social work to ask me if I'd be prepared to attend a meeting to see about the possibility of them letting me see my mother outside the building for the foreseeable future, with me possibly having my visiting rights 'restored' at some unspecified future date, AAW. It's an obvious 'slieght-of-hand' move to shift the appearance of responsibility for not seeing my mother onto me and off of them, but it's not one I can accede to as it would be tantamount to an admission from me that their ban was justified and that I'd done something wrong.
What's more, they said it would have to be between working hours, but because of my various infirmities, I'm not usually fit to leave the house until late afternoon to do some shopping, and so I visit my mother in the evenings. It's also designed to teach me a lesson and show me who's boss when it comes to my mother, and to punish me for complaining and deter me from making any future complaints, which is not something I could ever agree to.
Also, if I did accept such a bizarre arrangement, I can foresee me arriving at the building only to be told that my mother is asleep and they don't want to wake her to bring her outside, or that she's too disorientated to disturb at the moment, or some other nonsense. The only thing that I'm prepared to accept is the full restoration of my visiting rights as they were, at a time that's convenient to me. They imposed the ban and they can lift it without making me jump through hoops.
Contacted various solicitors, T47, and though they've all been horrified by the details and sympathetic to my plight, none of them deal with cases like mine on legal aid. I'm still pursuing that option, and there's a glint of hope in getting certain sections of the media involved in the situation. Watch this space.
In my view, their allegations were only made by disgruntled staff determined to get their own back on me for making formal complaints about them or their colleagues, McS, complaints that were partially upheld. Walmsley, who banned me, ignored this and accused me of slander in regard to my complaints, and he may even have urged those allegations against me to give the Home leverage in discrediting me and disputing my version of events. It looks to me like the Home just got fed up and decided to do something about me. Y'know, rather than address my complaints and put things right, which they seemed thoroughly incapable of doing.
The doctor agreed my legs were atrophying (muscle and circulation) and two of my toes on my left foot appear dead, so I'm worried about amputation. Further to that, I still have severe pain in various parts of my body and they don't appear to know what's behind it. Similar to Linda's situation with her father, in that they take blood tests and seem no further forward. Apart from that, life's great! (Guffaw!)
That's terrible re your legs hopefully they will find a reason and get you some treatment. Linda's dad is getting home soon but the hospital have said he needs 24 hour care, so we need to discuss that with him. Mentally he is ok ( not great but ok) physically he is in very bad shape.
The care home your mum is in must be breaking care rules. They are just despicable
Good to hear he's almost out of hospital, McS. I hope he doesn't need to go into a care home, because their idea of 24 hour care is to stick someone in a room and then seemingly forget about them for most of the day, mealtimes aside. Did the hospital ever identify what the problem was with Linda's dad?
There not 100% but think his anaemia was a result of medication that he has been on for 10 years, a blood thinner that in general should be restricted for a few years max. Its a pill that can pool blood in the body thereby resulting in a drop in new blood cells.
Hopefully, his medical worries are now mainly behind him, McS. I wonder what we can 'look forward' to as we get older. Left a comment on your latest post.
It's very jarring seeing so many old frail people that aren't really that much old than we are ( some only in mid 70s) with dementia, terminal illnesses that are in his ward struggling just to get through the day. Very sad. I certainly try to keep physically and mentally active and eat better to try and avoid getting ill, but I pretty much think it's mostly down to luck when your in older health
When we're younger, it never occurs to us that, one day, life could ever be a struggle and that all sorts of things might go wrong with our minds and bodies, McS. The only way to avoid it is to die young, I suppose, but I'm now too old to die young, so that option isn't open to me.
Very true. Life is good but sometimes I think it was just my childhood / early teens that were care free, maybe that's why folk like us cling to comics , toys etc from that time. Ive been very lucky and appreciate things could have been so much worse, but I thought retirement would be freeing, sadly it hasn't been at all .
For me, having things (or replacements) from my childhood and teeanage years makes those times seem not so far away as they actually are, even though I know it's an illusion, McS. If retirement hasn't been what you thought it would be, there's only one solution - back to work with you, m'lad.
Like Paul I didn't realise your mobility issues were so serious, Kid - atrophying legs and dead toes sounds awful so I can only wish you the best. Let's hope you don't end up in Meadowbrook yourself! Ethel Caterham of Surrey has just turned 117 so your mum is still a mere stripling!
Jolene, 9 To 5 and Islands In The Stream have all entered the latest UK Top 20.
Last place I want to end up is in a 'care' home, CJ. I'd consider 'topping' myself first. I think I still have the few original 45rpm singles of Dolly's I bought at the time, though Jolene may be a replacement I bought a few years ago, don't quite remember. (It'll maybe come back to me as my brain warms up through the day.)
I was asked if I would go back to work to help out for a few months but with Linda's dad being ill etc etc I had to reject that offer. If I could, I would go back to working, not my last job ( too busy and stressful) but a wee job in a cafe or supermarket would be nice
What about becoming a male gigolo? You could make a fortune, like me.
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