BRUCE WAYNE SOLDIERS ON...

I told all you cavortin' Crivvies a few years back (two or three times actually) about a swap I made with a now former pal back when we were kids.  The pal was the guy you've seen me refer to as 'Billy Liar', and who I usually call Adam Cowie as it's close enough to his real name for those who knew him to recognise who I'm talking about.  If he saw his real name here, he's conceited (and daft) enough to regard it as a badge of honour and I want to avoid giving him that pleasure should he chance upon the site.

However, first let me set the tale in context.  In the '60s, Marx Toys made a poseable Batman figure, which really wasn't very poseable.  They also made a soldier figure which was even more bereft of points of articulation, and who had the exact same face as Batman.  I had Bats, Billy/Adam had the soldier, and one night we swapped them, only for Batman to come to a sad end when an older boy maliciously decided to see if he could fly (knowing full well he couldn't) and launched him across a playing field, where poor Bats came a cropper upon crash-landing.

Billy/Adam immediately wanted to annul the swap and get his soldier back, but I pointed out to him that it wasn't going to happen as he had been Bats' owner when the toy had met its inglorious end, so he'd have to live with the consequences.  We both complained to the boy's mother about what he'd done, but apart from saying she'd have a word with him, she clearly wasn't interested.

Anyway, just consider the above a reminder for the purpose of setting the scene for the latest development in the saga.  Obviously I'd love to be able to replace the Batman figure (I had two of them at different times as a kid), but I've never yet seen one for sale anywhere*.  However, only today I took possession of two replacement soldier figures, along with quite a few accessories (not shown, apart from what they're wearing or holding).  I wasn't looking for two, one would've been enough, but they were being sold as a pair so that's how I bought them.

Okay, they're both military men, but I think I'll just regard one as a soldier and the other as Batman/Bruce Wayne dressed as a soldier.  After all, the Batman toy used the exact same head.  And so another old friend from childhood rejoins the merry throng, assembled to keep me company until I finally fall off the twig in another hundred years.  (Think positive is my motto.)

(*Update: Have now obtained the Batman figure.)

REBEL WITHOUT A PAUSE...

(Nah, I don't know what I mean either.)

Copyright REBELLION

A 3 o'clock delivery from the Royal Mail has brought a trio of great books into my possession, so I thought I'd give you a quick look at them.  First up (above) is the newest - The Steel Claw.  'Nuff said.  Following the back cover of this magnificent tome is a couple of ads for upcoming publications, so start saving your shekels now!

The next two books are older ones, but I only ordered them recently as I was waiting until it was time to slit open another mattress and treat myself.  Volume 2 of The Leopard From Lime Street, and World-Wide Weirdies.  If you don't have them yet, you should.  Buy 'em now while there's still some left.

 

 

1969 VALIANT SUMMER SPECIAL

 Bax and Reg - a winning combination...

Copyright REBELLION

Above is the 1969 Valiant Summer Special, which contains mainly reprint material.  The only strip which might be new is Bluebottle and Basher by Leo Baxendale, but I couldn't guarantee it as it may well be a resized reprint - though there's no obvious signs of it.  However, it's in colour, so I thought I'd share it with you here, along with Billy Bunter, also in colour, drawn by Reg Parlett.  I've now got every Valiant Summer Special from 1966 to 1975, 10 in all, though I'm undecided as to whether I'll ever buy the remaining 5.  However, I'm not ruling it out.

Interestingly, for three years in a row, starting in 1968, there were combined Lion & Valiant Special Extras, which I don't think I ever saw at the time so I might not bother pursuing them either.  In fact, the only Valiant Summer Special I specifically recall buying back in the day was the 1971 Valiant & Smash one, though I think I might also have had the 1972 Valiant & TV21 Special because the cover seems strikingly familiar.

Anyway, enough twaddle from me, as you'll be eager to read the two humour strips I mentioned earlier, so there they are below - feast your eyes.  It's interesting that in the first strip, it's the copper that comes a cropper, whereas in the second, Bunter gets his just deserts (honest, that's the correct spelling, despite the pronunciation) - even though caning pupils would be considered assault nowadays.  Anyway, feel free to leave a comment telling your fellow Crivvies just how much you enjoyed these comics classics.

TRUE BELIEVERS - IRON MAN...

Doomquest...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

I remember the day well.  It was a sunny afternoon sometime in 1981 and I was in Glasgow with a visiting pal, up from where he now lived in England to see his in-laws who yet resided in my home town.  So while his wife spent time with her parents, me and Bob Billens (name changed, though it was a double 'B') nipped into the 'dear green place' for a jaunt.  Bob had worked as a summer assistant in my town's central library when I was a full-time employee there in 1979, and that's how we'd met.  He, like myself, was also a comics geek, though he preferred DC to Marvel.

Anyway, we were near Howard Street, so I directed Bob's attention to a huge board I'd fairly recently signwritten which adorned the side of a building close by.  Then we nipped into a newsagent's opposite and I bought The Invincible Iron Man #150, which I still have to this very day.  Now, 40 years on, I finally got the chance to read the preceeding issue when the True Believers reprint of #149 popped through my letterbox this morning.  I suppose it's fitting that the two issues involve time travel, as my mind returned 40 years into the past to the day that two pals with the same pastime enjoyed a carefree saunter 'round the city for a couple of hours.

A mere 5 or 6 years later, Bob apparently decided that our long-distance friendship was surplus to his requirements, presumably having made so many new pals in England that he considered the effort of maintaining contact with me an unnecessary exercise, so he simply stopped keeping in touch.  He'd become a bit of a social climber, like Bob Ferris in the TV show Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads, and I think he'd come to regard me as the Scottish version of Terry Collier and therefore a bit of an embarrassment to his imagined new status down south.

So, sadly, turned into a bit of a pr*ck, did Bob, but, regardless, I can't help but smile fondly at the memory of our friendship, before it finally faded like the colours of a parted petal, bleached by the radiating rays of the summer sun.  But enough of such sentimental b*ll*cks - if you see this mag on sale anywhere, grab it while you can.  It's been out for a month or more, but it's well-worth having.  Meanwhile, having read #149, I'm now off to re-read #150, so that I can immerse myself in the 2 part story in sequential order - almost 40 years after the fact.

THE LAW IS AN ASS...

And here are 22 examples that prove it...

A few years back, one of my pals gave me a copy of what purported to be questions actually asked by attorneys during trials, and, in some cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses, as recorded in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers' Journal.  I thought I'd share them with you here and give you all a laugh.

******

1)   "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

******

2)   "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

******

3)   "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

******

4)   "Were you alone or by yourself?"

******

5)   "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

******

6)   "Did he kill you?"

******

7)   "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

******

8)   "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

******

9)   "How many times have you committed suicide?"

******

10)   Q:  "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"

             A:  "Yes."

             Q:  "And what were you doing at that time?"

******

11)   Q:  "She had 3 children, right?"

            A:  "Yes."

            Q:  "How many were boys?"

            A:  "None."

            Q:  "Were there any girls?"

******

12)   Q:  "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"

             A:  "Yes."

             Q:  "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

******

13)   Q:  "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"

             A:  "I went to Europe, sir."

             Q:  "And you took your new wife?"

******

14)   Q:  "How was your first marriage terminated?"

             A:  "By death."

             Q:  "And by whose death was it terminated?"

******

15)    Q:  "Can you describe the individual?"

              A:  "He was about medium height and had a beard."

              Q:  "Was this a male, or a female?"

******

16)    Q:  "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"

              A:  "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

******

17)    Q:  "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"

             A:  "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

******

18)    Q:  "All your responses must be oral, okay?  What school did you go to?"

              A:  "Oral."

******

19)     Q:  "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"

               A:  "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."

               Q:  "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"

               A:  "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

******

20)     Q:  "You were not shot in the fracas?"

                A:  "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

******

21)     Q:  "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"

              A:  "I have been since early childhood."

******

22)    Q:  "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

              A:  "No."

              Q:  "Did you check for breathing?"

              A:  "No."

              Q:  "So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

              A:  "No."

              Q:  "How can you be so sure, doctor?"

              A:  "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

              Q:  "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

              A:  "It is possible that he could still have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

AT LAST - The GENUINE ARTICLE...

 One Together Is Two...

Copyright relevant owner

Finally!  I recently managed to obtain an original Golden Record of the Laurel & Hardy theme song from Larry Harmon's animated '60s TV show.  Regular readers may recall that I recorded the song from YouTube some months back and made my own cd to replace the single I had as a kid.  (Well, it wasn't actually 'mine' - it must've been acquired by either my father or brother, but I played it more often than them.)

 

There were different versions of this record, though the content is the exact same in all of them.  I believe it was first released in America in 1963 as a 78 rpm 6 inch record (yellow vinyl), as well as in Britain by Goldentone Records (orange vinyl, also 6 inch).  At some stage, the US single also became available as a 45 rpm 7 inch single (black vinyl), which is the one pictured above.  (I scanned the sleeve with the single still in it, which is why you can see the shape of the record.)

The one I had as a kid was orange vinyl, and if it ever shows up on eBay, I'll buy it if I can, but in the meantime I'm just happy to have an 'official' recording of the song.  Actually, I probably prefer 45 rpm for a single, and the sleeve isn't radically different to the Goldentone one, so I won't be too disappointed if the original remains beyond my grasp.  One look at the cover and I'm once more a child on the living-room carpet, sat in front of our old wooden cabinet record player, singing along to this humorous ditty.

Just to remind you all in case you missed it before, below is what the Goldentone one looked like, along with the cd I made for myself.

The AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #101 FACSIMILE EDITION...

A Monster Called... MORBIUS!

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

I know I've already got at least one individual reprint of this mag (maybe two), not counting collected editions that include the tale, but it's great to have a facsimile which contains all the original ads and letters page.  I've only had a cursory glance through it since it arrived on Saturday morning, but it looks good to my tired old eyes, with no faults that I can detect at a casual glance.  If you're a Spider-Man or Morbius fan, why not give yourself a treat and buy this classic as soon as you can?!  Even if you've got the original or a previous reprint, it's always good to have a spare.

WEDNESDAY'S BABE Of The DAY...

The stunning, stupendous, and sultry Sybil Danning...

Sybil isn't only stunning, she's also

creative.  Look at the sexy little number

she crafted from a black bin liner.  Beauty

and brains - what a combo!  Looks like she

was poured into it, so she must've melted

on sight of my manly-man handsomeness.

(Hey, you think writing these captions

 is easy?!  Try it yourselves!)

JOHN BYRNE'S ALPHA FLIGHT COVER & IMAGE GALLERY PART THREE...

Alpha Flight is now landing...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Question: How can you think you're in a room, yet not be in that room, while at the same time not be in the room that you're actually in?  Confused?  Don't worry, you will be.  Kidding aside, the answer is actually rather simple.  Y'see, I've been re-reading my Alpha Flight mags for the first time since buying them back in 1983/'84.  I had just moved into a new house at the time and, naturally enough, I associate them with that house and, in particular, the room in which I read them.  That association is so strong that even though I'm fully and consciously aware of my surroundings in my present house as I read, there's something in my subconscious that 'tells' me I'm still in the room I originally read them.  Weird or what?

I don't know whether this feeling is unique to me, or if other people have also experienced it.  I've mentioned before how, on completion of re-reading a comic that I first read in a former house, when I lift my eyes from its pages, I'm momentarily surprised to find that I'm not in the room where I first read it.  Does that sound familiar to anyone?  Has anyone else ever felt that strange sense of momentary displacement under similar circumstances?  No?  Oh, well, guess I'm just bonkers then!  However, if any of you cavortin' Crivvies have ever experienced the same sensation - even for the briefest of nano-seconds - let me know so that I can reassure myself that it's a natural 'phenomenon' and that I'm not just prone to hallucinations.

Anyway, such philosophical ponderings aren't the main reason why I've invited you here, fascinating as they may be.  Nope, we're here to appreciate part three of John Byrne's covers and splash pages to his Alpha flight series from back in the '80s.  Well, to be more precise, you're here to appreciate them as I've already done so while preparing them for your perusal.  I'm really only here to read you telling me how great I am for sharing these pulse-pounding piccies with you entirely for free!  So no hanging about - appreciate away, then leave a comment saying what a wonderful, unselfish guy I am.  We all know it's a lie, but I won't mind if you don't.

Well, what are you waiting for?  Time starts now...  (Incidentally, for Part One, click here, and for Part Two, click here.)

THAT'S A LOAD OF OLD BULL, JOHN...

 And you can put it in print...

Before we look at the third and final part of John Byrne's Alpha Flight Cover & Splash Page Gallery, let's take a slight detour and cop a gander at something I acquired recently to replace the original one I had back in the '60s.  Namely, the John Bull Printing Outfit.  I say 'I' had, but 'twas actually my father who brought it home one day, possibly bought from Glasgow's famous Barras market.

To be honest, though I said the '60s, there's a chance it wasn't obtained until the start of the '70s, which is when I remember using it to name-stamp my comics, though it could have lain dormant for a year or two before I pressed it into service.  Into a single-tier red plastic holder, I carefully set my name - G. ROBSON (it only had upper case) - and stamped the top right-hand corner (from my pov) with my awesome (in my mind anyway) appellation.

One of my pals at the time was in hospital with a broken leg, and I remember taking up a pile of my old comics for him one day during visiting hour.  Imagine my surprise when, weeks or months later, I saw some of them in a cardboard box in my local newsagent's, marked at half price.  One of the comics was the first combined issue of Valiant & Smash!, and there was my printed name on the cover.  I'm still not quite sure how they ever got there.

When we moved house in 1972, my stamp was again utilised to mark my Mighty World Of Marvels, but eventually I gave up on the practice.  For years afterwards, little rubber letter blocks and red holders could be found at the back of the drawer of my father's writing bureau, reminding me of earlier times.  The bureau moved into my bedroom in the early '80s, but whether any rubber letters still inhabited its confines prior to that point, or whether they had been cleared out long before, is lost to the mists of history.

As you can see from the photos, I now have two sets - No. 8 and No. 12, the smaller of them being (I think) the one we owned originally.  The two were sold on eBay as one item, which is the only reason I bought the pair.  Interestingly (to me anyway), the writing bureau yet resides in my bedroom, and I may well decide, space allowing, to store them in its single drawer, which my original set called home for many years.

Time has been reset to an earlier period once more, and things are yet again as they used to be - well, at least in regard to John Bull and my father's writing bureau.  (Incidentally, I remember the day the bureau was delivered to our first house in the town, around 60 years ago.  That's some amount of correspondence it's seen written in that time, I'd imagine.)

Anyway, do you remember having a John Bull Printing Outfit when you were a kid, and if so, what did you think of it?  Share your personal reminiscences in the Crivvies comments section.  After all, that's what it's there for.