BASHFUL BENJY WOULD LIKE A QUICK WORD WITH YOU ALL...

As a special Seasonal treat ("Another one - as well as Jim Reeves?" I hear you all cry, astonished at my generosity), here's the MIGHTY MARVEL BULLPEN Christmas card from 1965, as drawn by Mirthful MARIE SEVERIN.  What more can I say but - 'NUFF SAID!

SILVER BELLS...

 

 

Well, Christmas is almost upon us, so here's a Yuletide classic from BOB HOPE's movie, THE LEMON DROP KID. Pal BING CROSBY was first to release the song on record after Bob's film, but no one can caress a lyric like 'MR VELVET' himself, the mighty JIM REEVES.  Click on the link below to listen to a cosy Christmas cracker now.

THE DANDY AVAILABLE AGAIN...

Copyright D.C. Thomson & Co., Ltd

As I predicted in my poignant post on the last ever issue of The DANDY, publishers D.C. THOMSON have reprinted this collectors' item classic, which, as I type, is available in WH SMITH's (and also from EVENING TIMES vendors in Glasgow, apparently).  I think we can assume that some other outlets will likewise have copies.

The 2nd printing is a few millimetres longer than the 1st edition, and the cover-colouring on the facsimile of The Dandy #1 is slightly lighter, but whether this is to distinguish it from the earlier release or is simply down to the vagaries of printing is unknown (to me, at least).

  

It seems to me that DCT missed a trick by not printing variant editions; they should've issued one version with JAMIE SMART's cover on the front and another with KEN H. HARRISON's - then they'd have sold twice as many.  Even The RADIO TIMES is wise to this marketing ploy.

Anyway, if you missed it first time around, you've now got another chance to acquire a copy.  Get down to WH Smith's today!

SCHOOLTIME SCANDALS PART ONE: 'SNOWBALLS'...

A photo of my old school from about a year ago

As previously stated on this blog, Christmas tends to make me sentimental for the past - to an even greater degree than usual, if such a thing is possible.  This may well be the last Christmas my old primary school will see, being due for demolition when a new one is completed to house the pupils who temporarily inhabit it.  That perhaps requires further explanation, so allow me to indulge myself by elucidating.  (If you're a regular reader, you can skip the next two paragraphs.)

A brand-new school has already been built to replace the old one, and the pupils are presently ensconced within its gleaming interiors.  However, another school in a nearby neighbourhood needed to be demolished before the new one could be built (due to limited space), so the pupils from that school moved into the vacated premises of my old one, which has been rechristened in the process.  When their new building is completed, the pupils will vacate my old school - which will then, sadly, be wiped from the face of the earth.

Luckily, I was able to arrange access to the old school just before it was 'pressed into temporary service' and managed to take loads of photos for posterity.  I was looking at them the other night (once more retracing the steps of my past) when, as I gazed at the corridors along which I once so casually cavorted, an incident from the long-vanished days of my childhood resurfaced in the tranquil waters of my recollection.  Allow me to share it with you now.

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In a far more innocent age than the one we now inhabit, it was once the custom (and may yet be) for primary pupils to pair up with a partner when the class was in transit to another part of the school.  So, if a class was going to the dinner hall, pupils were instructed to form a double column, clasp the hand of the person next to them, and proceed in an orderly fashion to their destination.

This practice was so ingrained in us from our earliest days that, eventually, whenever we were required to form an orderly line to or from any point in the building, we'd automatically 'pair-off' with another pupil by saying "Take" (as if staking a claim), and then grasping their hand in our own.  Sometimes this choice was made purely from whoever was in closest proximity, and sometimes it would be a particular pal who was accorded the accolade.  (And vice versa.)

With that in mind (just in case it's no longer the practice these days), you're now equipped to understand my motivation in the tale I am about to (finally) relate.

The first-floor corridor in which the following incident occurred

One fine day, our class was on its way to the gym hall at the other end of the building.  As was my habit (being a rather shy, introverted boy, believe it or not), I hung back and waited for the rest of the class to leave the room before joining the trail at the tail-end.  Being without a partner, I skirted along the outside of the line of pupils, looking for someone in a similar position, when I noticed something ahead of me.  The fire doors in the middle of the corridor were open, giving the top of the door frame the appearance of a roof beam.

A peculiarity of many introverted children is that they sometimes over-compensate with uncharacteristic displays of extrovertedness, and this day was one such occasion.  As I made my way along the outside of the line, I said "Watch this" to two boys on the left of me, took a couple of hops and a jump, and hit the top of the door 'beam' on the way through.  Having 'shown off' (for the year), my attention was diverted by the boy ahead of me - BILLY McCLUSKEY - likewise being without a partner, so I automatically said "Take" and clasped his hand in line with then-current custom.

  

Un-noticed by me, however, Billy held a LEE'S 'Snowball' from the tuckshop in his hand, which I inadvertently squashed within its clear cellophane wrapper, much to his annoyance and my surprise.  I'm sure you can see what's coming; Billy hailed the teacher's attention, proclaiming "Please, Miss - Gordon Robson's squashed my Snowball!" (behave - it wasn't a euphemism) and proceeded to kick up a fuss about it.  I, of course, protested my innocence (of intent, if not result), but the two lads I had passed were having none of it.

View from the first-floor corridor window

You see, to them, it seemed as if I'd invited them to witness my crime by saying "Watch this", and that my tagging the door 'beam' was merely a casual display of exuberance on my way to commit the dastardly deed, not the actual act I'd invited them to observe.  A few years ago, I could still remember the names of my two accusers, but the passage of time has diminished my ability to recall them now.  I've got a vague idea that it may have been BILLY MONTGOMERY and ROSS CAMPBELL (who had a history of 'cliping' in order to curry teacher's favour), but I'm not 100% certain.  Apologies if it wasn't them, but I probably owe them for other misdemeanours anyway so I'm not about to lose any sleep over it.  (H'mm, maybe IAN MORRIS was one of them - if only I could remember.)

The result?  I had to reimburse Billy for the cost of his confectionery, but that didn't bother me so much as the teacher not quite believing it was an accident (or she'd have replaced Billy's Snowball with another one from the tuckshop for free), and the alacrity with which my accusers had leapt to 'put the boot in'.  In all truthfulness, I can honestly state that I never knew Billy was holding anything, and that my account of events is exactly what transpired.  I can see why things looked as they did to the two boys, but it's a perfect example of a situation not being as it seemed, despite appearances to the contrary.

So, let that be a lesson to you (and me).  Sometimes, even when you're certain, you may still be wrong.  Funny the things that stick in your memory 45 years-plus after the fact, eh?  I wonder how (or even if) Billy and the two over-enthusiastic 'witnesses' recall the event.

Anyway, that's killed some time (and perhaps even your will to live).  If you don't behave, I may regale you with a similar-type tale from my secondary school days.  You can't say you haven't been warned.

A photo of Billy from secondary school

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For more Schooltime Scandals, click here.

FREAKY FRANKIE FIGURE IS FINALLY FOUND - NOT FAR OFF FORTY FLIPPIN' YEARS AFTER THE FACT...

Copyright relevant owner

Look at the above ad, published on the back of various DC comicbooks in the early 1970s.  I'd have first seen this around '71 or early '72, and so impressed was I with the idea of a pocket-sized FRANKENSTEIN that I customized an old MAJOR MATT MASON figure to fit the role.  First, I cut up a black polythene bag to make a sombre suit, and then used a BIC biro to administer some scars and the familiar Frankie fringe.  In his black outfit and complement of facial dis-figurements, ol' Matt cut quite a dash as a suitable stand-in for Boris.

However, it was the second ad (above) that prompted me to scour the back streets of BLACKPOOL (in '73 or '74) in a vain search for this elusive figure.  British holiday resorts were great places for being able to obtain obscure items that never seemed to reach other parts of the U.K.  I'd been able to buy pristine condition copies of various MARVEL mags (FF and SILVER SURFER) from the 1960s, straight off the spinner-racks in newsagents at cover price (this was in '73 or '74, remember), so it was hardly outwith the bounds of possibility that older toys and model kits were likewise available from the same outlets.  (And some were.)

Sadly, in the case of this particular Frankie kit, it was not to be, and I had to wait nearly 40 years until MOEBIUS reissued this model (a couple or so years back now) to finally get my hands on this collectors' item classic.  Guess what though?  Not too long after acquiring this figure, an original AURORA one found its way into my possession, a gift from a generous benefactor.  Guess it must be true what they say - "All things come to he who waits."

I certainly hope so.  You see, the sensational SALMA HAYEK is also on my wants-list of coveted prizes, and it surely can't hurt to be optimistic.

SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY - PART TWO...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

Continuing our Journey Into History (spot the pun) with early THOR covers, here's another five pieces of JACK KIRBY art from the early '60s, which epitomize MARVEL at the start of its revolution of the comics industry.  Jack's covers from the '60s probably deserve a book by themselves, so dominant were they on the spinner-racks of newsagents in the U.S. and U.K. back in the day.  So, enjoy these fabulous five examples of Mighty Marvel Masterpieces - Christmas has come early this year.

Before I acquired my toy replica of Thor's hammer, MJOLNIR, which you saw in the previous post, I obtained a smaller version given away with a British SPIDER-MAN comic.  It's inflatable, but I was as pleased as punch to have an authorized MARVEL mallet to hang on my wall.  In fact, I'd have been over the moon to have had this as a kid, never mind the other one.  If I were to pull out the stopper, I wonder if the escaping air would provide enough propulsion to allow me to streak through the sky, as a thunder god should?  What do you think?  Should I give it a try? (Whaddya mean, "Yeah - from a very tall building!" ?)

GONNA TAKE A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY - INTO MYSTERY...

Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

When I first read THOR The MIGHTY (as he was originally named) in the b&w pages of FANTASTIC back in 1967, I took a real shine (in a non-suspect, manly way, of course) to the hammer-swinging Norse god of thunder.  I made myself an 'uru' mallet (out of sponge and a stick) and ran around the field across the road from my house waving it over my head and shouting (internally) "For Odin - for Asgard!"  Yes, you're right - there was obviously far too much vinegar on my chips.

I also had a gnarled, wooden cane (well, a branch) that was the double of DOCTOR DONALD BLAKE's walking stick, which I concealed behind my back until required for my identity switch.  I'd stamp my magical mallet on the ground, then hide it behind me with one hand and produce my gnarled cane (er, branch) with the other.  Bemused passers-by would look at me, tap their heads with a finger and cast their gaze to the heavens.  I think there was a distinct possibility that they may have been trying to tell me something.  What can I say?  I was only eight years old and having myself some fun.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'd really first seen Thor in a reprint of AVENGERS #2 in the pages of SMASH!, but it wasn't 'til I'd read "The THUNDER GOD & The THUG!" in his solo tales that the idea of emulating the golden-tressed immortal from ASGARD recommended itself to me as having distinct playtime possibilities.  I'd like to be able to claim that I've matured since my childhood days, but to do so would be a lie.  When I espied an inexpensive toy replica of MJOLNIR in a shop a few years ago, I snapped it up immediately, and it now adorns the wall of the very room in which I type these words.

However, that's enough of my self-indulgent reminiscing; the time has now come to unleash upon you some of the early covers from Thor's stories in JOURNEY Into MYSTERY, first printed way back in the '60s.  Just think - MARVEL and JACK KIRBY at their very best!  Who could possibly ask for more?!

  

And for all those who are interested, here's my very own Mjolnir.  It definitely falls into the category of "Toys I wish I'd had when I was a kid!"  Hey, better late than never, eh?

MARVEL'S GREATEST SUPERHERO BATTLES...

Copyright MARVEL COMICS

A whopping thirty-four years ago, I purchased the latest in the Mighty MARVEL series of ORIGINS books, which just happened to be MARVEL'S GREATEST SUPERHERO BATTLES.  This was a cracking book, featuring the tales you can see below.  Only the covers of the first issues of two or three-part adventures were reproduced, and in the case of the DOCTOR STRANGE saga, the cover from a '70s reprint, not the original '60s one.  However, unlike earlier volumes, the stories bore no clumsy alterations to mar the enjoyment of purists like myself.

Just look at all those great covers - especially the SILVER SURFER #4 by Big JOHN BUSCEMA.  A dozen blockbuster battles between the pages of one soft-bound omnibus.  Now that's what I call a book!

DICK'S MIGHTY DELIGHT...

Copyright relevant owner

Here's another nice Christmassy image to gladden your hearts and make your spirits soar with the splendours of the Season. From the early 1980s, TV COMIC's very own MIGHTY MOTH in a bumper WINTER SPECIAL. I'm not 100% sure whether the accompanying strip comes from this particular issue or not, but who cares? It's another DICK MILLINGTON delight, and that's good enough for me!  

TV COMIC'S LAST CHRISTMAS...

Copyright relevant owner

Believe it or not, but you're looking at a genuine collectors' item classic - the very last Christmas edition of TV COMIC, a periodical which began in November 1951 and survived until June 1984.  If my basic arithmetic is correct, that means there were 33 Christmas issues over TV Comic's lengthy run, a feat not to be sneezed at.

Maybe I'm a little too soon with the Yuletide imagery, but as some of you are no doubt fretting over whether you'll be here after the 21st, I thought I'd steal a march and publish a Festive post early.  That way, if the world really does end in a few days, you'll at least go to your eternal rest with a smile on your face.  Yes, I know - I'm consideration itself.  What can I say?  That's just the sort of guy I am.

Hopefully, the pages that follow are actually from the above issue; I scanned them last year along with some other Christmas strips and my files are in a state of mild disarray at the moment, but I think I've got the right ones.  Not that it matters much, as you'll all be dead in four days time anyway.  Me?  I've got other plans.

The 2012 CHRISTMAS BEANO REVIEW...

Images copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co.,  Ltd

Since The BEANO was 'relaunched' a few weeks ago, it's actually been quite funny at times, with a level of humour seemingly aimed at a wider age group, as opposed to the rather infantile kind purveyed to its readers over the last several years.  Maybe I'm imagining it of course, but the comic seems to have upped its game and, all in all, is a nice little package these days.  Saying that, I hadn't picked it up in ages before its 'new look', so perhaps it had already moved in that direction.

And so to the Christmas edition: £3.99, eight extra pages, and the usual pack of tat you could probably buy three-for-a-quid in a pound shop.  Why do they bother with this infuriating practice?  I'm sure even the most easily amused children would find it difficult to generate much enthusiasm for the rubbish contained within the bag the comic comes in.  If DCT are going to charge its readers twice the usual price, then give them twice the usual content.  A double-sized issue would have gone down a lot better than a pile of junk which will be lost, broken or discarded within a half-hour or so of opening.

Imagine a 72 page bumper Christmas Special, jam-packed with all your favourite strips to read at your leisure over the Yuletide period.  Sounds good to me, how about you?  Remember, you can currently buy the hard-backed BEANO Annual for 2013 for around £3 or less, so given the choice, what would you spend your money on?

Inside, the contents are fairly well-drawn for the most part, and even the normally under-whelming art of a former DESPERATE DAN cartoonist is less annoying than usual, although his interpretation of ROGER The DODGER is unconvincing and he still shouldn't be allowed to do his own lettering.  Let's just hope the appointment of former DANDY Ed to that of Beano editor doesn't presage the appearance of further strips by this particular artist and his ilk, otherwise I'm off.  Anyway, his puzzle pages are easy to ignore amongst actual comic strips by more accomplished artists, and don't prove to be too much of a distraction.

The FUNSIZE FUNNIES strips would benefit from being half- pages each, instead of single tiers, as it'd give the writers and artists more to work with.  These kind of strips are okay for newspapers, but they seem a bit of a wasted opportunity in a weekly comic.  Hopefully, those in charge will see the benefit of such an idea and institute some half-page strips in the future.

The comic actually looks more 'Christmassy' in its bagged state, as a few snowballs adorn the cover that way.  However, I miss the days when the look of freshly-fallen snow graced a comic's logo.  Christmas Editions somehow don't seem complete without such a long-established nod to the traditions of the Season.

The Verdict?  Overpriced at just short of four quid.  £2.99 would've been a more reasonable figure, but that apart, worth buying - even if only to support the last original U.K. humour comic on the market.

Agree?  Disagree?  Not sure?  Just want to see your name in print?  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.