I have a recurring dream in which myself and my family have just moved back to the house where we lived between 1965 and '72. At first I'm overjoyed to be back in such familiar surroundings, but then the realisation that I'm no longer in my current house fills me with panic and an overwhelming sense of loss, and I appeal to my parents (both of whom are alive in this dream) to sign the place over to my name before the tenancy expires - as even though we've already moved out, it still has a little while yet to run. (As has actually happened in real life before.)
Then, in my dream, it either turns out to be a dream, from which I awaken and am relieved to find it hasn't actually happened, or, in real life, I awaken before the dream has run its course. I suppose this represents two things in my subconscious; firstly, my hankering to return to an earlier time in my life and, secondly, a deep-rooted fear that I might one day no longer be able to remain where I presently live, and thus be deprived of the comforting feeling of familiarity that I derive from being here.
The sense of relief I experience to find myself yet residing in the abode I've inhabited for most of my life is a welcome one, but the fear of one day not being able to lurks at the back of my mind, like a crouching demon waiting to spring. My theory is that we tend to miss certain things we once had but no longer have, and if we re-acquire them, we then miss something else. A new longing arises when an old one is fulfilled, and often it can be the thing we gave up in order to reclaim a past possession which we then yearn for, in a weird turnaround of events.
So I was wondering if any of you Crivvies have ever had (or still have) dreams similar to my own, whether it concerns houses, items, streets, shops, situations - or even people - that your somnambulistic selves revisit in the realms of Morpheus? And when you awaken, are you relieved or disappointed to discover that what you dreamt isn't actually so (or perhaps even is)? Reveal all in the comments section if you'd be so good, and may all your future dreams never turn out to be nightmares. (Or should I just say 'pleasant dreams'?)
I quite regularly dream of doing mundane, everyday things in a version of the area I grew up in that's different to the real thing. The dream version is more old-fashioned than the current world (and I've dreamed of second hand bookshops and market stalls with old comics in this place) and just seems calmer than the real thing.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I wake up from one of these dreams, I spend q few minutes trying to work out which world is the dream and which is real.
I think it's pretty obvious what the dreams say about me- a fondness for aspects of the past, and a preference for an easy quiet life!
Thank goodness you commented, DS. I was beginning to think that I was the only one - or that I hadn't expressed what I was trying to say too clearly. I've noticed that in some of my dreams there can sometimes be slight differences between the dream version of a place and the real one. I've even had dreams where I'm upstairs in the bedroom of one house, then I walk downstairs and find myself in the living room of another - or vice versa. Weird.
ReplyDeleteI haven't dreamt of old houses \ homes in years Kid, maybe that's because I don't really miss them. I certainly used to dream of my parents and brother when they passed away but sadly I haven't had any dreams about them in a long time ( that I have recalled the next morning) which is a shame as I found them "comforting". A few years ago around 1998 \2000, I had a vivid dream about driving and getting lost and ending up outside my old pal Alan's house when I lived in Rutherglen when I was about 10 \11 years old. Strangely, a few weeks after that dream I had reason to drive in that area again and due to traffic works I was deverted and ended up taking a wrong turn and got lost. So I stopped my car to try and get a bearing on where I was and it turned out I was about 3 house from my old pal Alan's house. I checked the door name and neither he nor his family stayed there
ReplyDeleteYou're probably too busy getting on with and enjoying your present life to dwell on the past much, McS, whereas all I do is look back all the time. I daresay that if I had a wife/girlfriend and/or kids in my life, my attention would be focussed on them rather than myself, and I'd be too busy dealing with the here and now instead of dwelling on yesteryear. Funny you should mention your pal's house, because I still associate my friends' old homes with them - even though they flitted from them several decades ago. I even take a wee wander past them from time-to-time - just to remember how things used to be. There's no hope for me, is there?
ReplyDeleteI've just never been that interested in my old homes/houses Kid . In some ways I wish I had stayed in or around certain towns but not really in those old houses . As you know I like visiting the "past" through memories etc but I have no wish to recreate the past - the "original" was the best based on people that populated my life then and things like comics, music, sport at that time ( if that makes sense) . As long as the past doesn't stop you enjoying the present your fine
ReplyDeleteI suspect I may only enjoy the present when I'm doing something that reminds me of the past; like revisiting old neighbourhoods and, like you, remembering comics, music, books, people, etc. I certainly enjoy the present and look forward to the future when Marvel announces upcoming facsimile editions, but that's so I can relive the past. Well, perhaps not 'relive' literally, but remember it. I'm happy enough though.
ReplyDeleteThat's all that counts. I reckon most folk relive the past at some point every day through listening to music or talking about a film they liked from the past etc.
ReplyDeleteI think so too, McS, whether we know it or not. Whenever someone has a hobby or pastime in adulthood that they first started as a kid, in a way they're continuing a link with their past - even if it's not why they consciously do it.
ReplyDeleteMy dreams are odd but make sense.
ReplyDeleteI had a dream I was playing Pictionary, the category was the house of a famous person and I got Oprah Winfrey. So I drew a castle with a moat.
You'll have to explain the significance of the castle and moat to me, PS. Does she live in a castle? Apart from her being an actress and presenter I know nothing about her.
ReplyDeleteShe’s just really rich so in my mind I thought she must live in a castle.
ReplyDeleteAh, right - I see what you mean.
ReplyDelete