Small man: "I'm gonna have you, big guy!" Hermit: "Leave it, Frankie, he's not worth it!" |
"It wasn't my fault she fell, Wolfie - she walked into me!" |
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Small man: "I'm gonna have you, big guy!" Hermit: "Leave it, Frankie, he's not worth it!" |
"It wasn't my fault she fell, Wolfie - she walked into me!" |
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1) "I knew I'd bought too much in the January sales - taxi!!"
ReplyDelete2) Hermit: "No, it's not a false beard - pull it and see".
3) Woman: "There must be some mistake - they told me I'd be working with Laurel & Hardy".
They're good, CJ - I see a career as a gag writer beckoning. Just remember where you started.
ReplyDeleteI was just digging through some old issues of For Monsters Only last week, and a few similar publications in recent months. If all those old mags proved anything, it's that actually funny captions for photos from those old classic monster flics are pretty darned hard to write. Even for Stan Lee.
ReplyDeleteThat's right, Stan used to write funny dialogue for a Marvel monster mag, didn't he? I think I saw a few pics once, but I never read a whole mag. Well, if Stan found it hard, then it must've been tough, so now I don't feel so bad. Ta, 3.
ReplyDeleteNobody else has chipped in so here's a few more suggestions:
ReplyDelete1) "I've got all this junk to throw away but some b*stard has pinched my
wheelie bin".
2) Hermit: "Frankie and I support a no-deal Brexit but I see you gentlemen disagree".
3) Woman: "I really regret moving to Transylvania - the comedy double-acts just aren't as funny".
OR
Woman: "My agent told me I'd be working with two of Hollywood's biggest stars but this isn't what I had in mind".
OR
Wolf-Man: "Dracula couldn't make it to the annual monsters' reunion so he sent one of his handmaidens instead".
Just as well I'm not paying you for these jokes, CJ, or I'd be skint. I'm assuming that other readers just can't think of anything. However, the 'agent' gag is really just a variant on the 'Laurel & Hardy' one. Guess you're into recycling.
ReplyDeleteWe must all recycle, Kid :D
ReplyDeleteOK, here's another one instead (final one I promise)...
Wolf-Man: "Feminists want to replace the Universal monsters with female versions - she's the new Dracula and we're next !!"
Not me, I'm a rebel - I don't even cycle! Female monsters? Draculass, Wolfwoman, and Frankenwhine!
ReplyDelete1- Don't blame me- I told you that litter tray you bought me was far too small.
ReplyDeleteGood one, DS. Though I presume he's got a flap in the bottom of his trousers in order to make a deposit? (There I go, over-thinking things again.)
ReplyDelete