Thursday, 18 October 2018

HEROES OR HALFWITS? YOU DECIDE...


Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

SUSAN STORM, alias The INVISIBLE GIRL!  Beautiful blonde bombshell and fabulous fiancee of REED RICHARDS, the modestly self-proclaimed Mister FANTASTIC!  Look at the above two pages and consider them for a moment.  Why does she turn invisible instead of just explaining to her friend that she's suddenly remembered an urgent appointment?  Why push her way through passing pedestrians instead of walking around them?  Why not turn visible before entering the cab, and then ask the driver to take her to her destination instead of trusting to blind chance?  Why am I asking so many questions?  Because there's something about the opening scenes in FF #1 that just doesn't make much sense.

BENJAMIN GRIMM, aka The THING!  Mighty-muscled monster and sometimes mutinous member of the fabulous FANTASTIC FOUR!  There he is in a gents' outfitters, wearing a trench-coat that, going by the loose folds in the fabric, doesn't look constrictive.  Then, when the FF flare appears, he takes off his outer clothes, claiming they're too tight, and demolishes the doorway on his way out.  "Why must they build doorways so narrow?" he complains.  But hang on - he obviously must have managed to pass through the doorway without much difficulty on his way in to the shop, so why should it suddenly present any kind of a problem on the way out?


And another thing - why remove his outer garments and thereby draw attention to himself?  Why not just exit the shop as he entered, then unobtrusively make his way to the FF's headquarters without panicking the populace and drawing fire from the police, as well as wrecking a manhole cover and a car?  Doesn't really make any sense when you think about it, does it?  (Also, if clothes his size are so hard to come by, why leave them in the shop?  And why didn't he just go to wherever he got those clothes as, despite his assertion, they clearly fit him?)

JOHNNY STORM, also called The HUMAN TORCH, teenage brother of Susan Storm, is another idiot.  He 'flames on' while still inside a car he's working on, melting it to slag (and risking igniting the petrol tank), instead of exiting the vehicle before making with the hero bit.  I bet he's really popular with his pals after that, the little show-off.  These elements aren't in STAN LEE's two-page synopsis of the tale, so JACK KIRBY must surely shoulder the blame for these honking howlers.  Sure, they're dramatic in their presentation and intended to bestow a sense of excitement to proceedings (as well as being a handy way of introducing the powerful protagonists), but it makes the threesome seem like a trio of brain-dead dunderheids who are as much a threat to life-and-limb as the vile villains they oppose.


And as for their leader, he's just as bad.  Allegedly the greatest brain on Earth, he flies a rocket into space knowing that its shielding is insufficient to protect them from cosmic rays.  And he takes along his fiancee and her kid brother, who'd be about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit when it comes to piloting their ship.  Talk about irresponsible?

However, what do you think readers?  Should we be prepared to sacrifice common sense in favour of dynamic drama and awesome action in a comic strip, or are we entitled to expect our heroes to behave in a more responsible manner instead of going off half-cocked whenever a helpless humanity requires their super-powered services?  If Ben Grimm was visiting me for a cuppa char, I wouldn't want him demolishing my house when leaving if he were suddenly called upon to battle the dastardly DOCTOR DOOM!  And if I were making love to Sue Storm, I wouldn't want her turning invisible as that would remind me too much of my usual 'love life'.  (Oo-er, I didn't just admit to that in public, did I?  Er, I was talking about a friend, not me.) 

Anyway, what are your thoughts on the matter, readers?  Feel free to contribute to our comments section.

9 comments:

  1. There is no common sense in comics, they are escapist literature meant to free us from common sense reality.

    This is especially true for American comics. Take Batman to start. When he first appeared Batman was a detective. He followed clues to solve crimes. The stories were written when American society was very much aware of crime, organised crime, prohibition and movies about gangsters. The stories fairly quickly developed into having 'over the top' villains in the style of those in Dick Tracy. Bank robbers were too mundane unless the leader was the Penguin or the Joker. No longer could Batman limit his time to fighting burglars or street robbers during hold ups which was the reason he actually became a crime-fighter.

    The whole concept of SUPERHEROES rather than detectives is just daft in concept. Pure escapism with no basis in reality. So why Ben Grimm can manage to pass side ways to enter a building but has to reek havoc leaving at a run doesn't bare close scrutiny. Sit back and enjoy with the innocence of the 8 year old target audience.

    When reality hit with BATMAN as interpreted by Frank Miller it's not for 8 year olds any more.

    Real enjoyment in a comic superhero would be Desperate Dan. The longer I live in the US the more I look back as his innocence lived in a world that was the American West yet had Double Deck Trams running in Cactusville. British Firemen, Policeman, Postmen and post boxes all drawn by Dudley Watkins who didn't give reality a second thought. Pure escapist fun.

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  2. Well, of course, T47, you are almost entirely correct - but I wouldn't have anything to write about (or you to read) on this blog if I didn't give reality a second thought. Incidentally, I think Dudley (and the writer) put a great deal of thought into Desperate Dan; I think those double decker trams and buses, and pillar boxes, etc., were deliberately added to heighten the absurd and abstract nature of the strip. Great comment. Oh, another thing - when the first half of the FF's origin was reprinted in their first annual, The Thing was amended to look smaller, because by that time, Jack Kirby was drawing him smaller in the monthly mag. (Reed and The Torch were also altered in the annual.)

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  3. Eating a whole cow in a Cow Pie to obtain great strength is neither obsurd or abstract, after all doesn't every mother tell her child to "Eat all the food on your plate to grow up big and strong".

    Being bitten by a spider effected by radiation IS OBSURD AND ABSTRACT.

    Do you think the British location of the Wild West was really to create an abstact nature for the strip rather than making the target audience of eight year olds able to recognise their normal world? Are we over thinking as adults the creative intent for 1930's comic strip creators as the British style references slowly crept into what was a Wild West Cowboy comic strip?

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  4. Also, I would question the practicality of using a flare pistol in the concrete canyons of New York City.

    Maybe you could make a case that the FF were inexperienced at the time, and had not yet learned to use their powers safely and efficiently.

    And Johnny Storm was a teenager at the time, so naturally he would have been dumber than a bag of rocks.

    The question of inadequate shielding was sorta-kinda addressed, IIUC. It was the Cold War and the Space Race, and they could not wait for the spacecraft to be perfected, because, as Sue said, "We can't let the commies beat us to the moon!"

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  5. Perhaps we are, T47, but I reckon Dudley D. Watkins and Albert Barnes knew what they were doing when DD developed into the strip that it later became. The sight of a pillar box or a red bus in a Western town must've tickled their funny bone I'd have thought.

    ******

    I don't think the inadequate shielding was 'addressed' as such, TC. After all, if the radiation killed them in the Van Allen Belt, they'd never have got to the Moon, so to make the attempt when being killed was a possibility wasn't a risk that the greatest brain on Earth should be taking - especially not with his fiancee and her brother on board.

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  6. And Sue's only motivation is to beat "the Commies" into space and when Ben mentions the dangers she calls him a coward.

    What a capitalist b*tch - it should have been her transformed into a hideous rock-monster.

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  7. On some alternate reality she probably was, CJ.

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  8. In What If vol. 2 #11 (1990), four stories showed alternate realities in which the FF all gained the same power. So, in one, all of them, including Susan, got turned into hideous rock monsters.

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  9. I love it when I'm right, TC. Ta for the info.

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