I was relaxing in my local pub the other night having a refreshing lemonade (in a dirty glass - nothing soft about me), when SALMA HAYEK sidles up to me and asks me for my telephone number. "You're married, Salma (to a multi-millionaire, no less - I wonder what she saw in him?) so it wouldn't be right to give you my number!" says I.
"Number - now!" she says, whipping out a dirty great gun from under her t-shirt. Well, who am I to argue with a lady? Especially when she's toting such impressive weaponry (in more ways than one). So I handed her my mobile number, and no doubt she'll be calling me sometime soon. I'll just let it go to voicemail though - there's far too many women in my life at the moment, fighting for my attention.
(Nurse, is it time for my medicine yet?)
Caroline Aherne as Mrs. Merton interviewing Debbie McGee, wife of irritating shortarse git...er, I mean popular magician and TV personality Paul Daniels : "So, Debbie McGee - what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels ?" Now, that was magic !!
ReplyDeleteSo I take it you like Paul Daniels (but not a lot), eh, CJ?
ReplyDeleteKid, did you ever see the incident when Paul Daniels appeared on Breakfast Time in about 1983 - they always had a guest celebrity to review the papers and so Paul Daniels was going through the papers and he came to the Morning Star which he suddenly ripped in half and started ranting about Communists shooting people, what a bizarre carry-on.
ReplyDeleteNope, didn't see that. Breakfast time? I was probably still piling up the zeds.
ReplyDelete