I was in BOOTS The CHEMISTS today to buy some iron tablets, and the guy in front of me in the queue asked the assistant for some condoms. "Yes sir, what size would you like - small, medium or liar?" she said, with a wicked smile on her face. "Er, scratch that - just gimme a packet of TUNES!" answered the flustered customer. You gotta laugh!
It's called Boots isn't it, do they sell Wellingtons?
ReplyDeleteWouldn't surprise me, DSE - but probably only baby-sized ones.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that in the navy condoms were called "wellies from the queen" so Boots does sell wellies, sort of. In my local Boots you pick up a basket at the door and just go around picking what you want - no need to ask for anything. I'm the kind of person who must have a list with me or I'd never remember anything - a few years ago I went into Boots to buy something in particular but ten minutes later I left the shop with several things I'd bought on impulse and completely forgot the thing I'd gone in for. I'd even managed to buy a bar of chocolate and I don't normally eat chocolate !
ReplyDeleteI do that just about every day, CJ. Go shopping, come back with several items, but none of them are what I went out for. If I write a list, I forget to take it with me half the time.
ReplyDeleteGood grief man, you two browse and then you leave with something you didn't want? I thought only women did that, we shop like men down here but then again the babies don't wear wellies either.
ReplyDeleteShop like men, DSE? Men don't shop - they leave that to the wives or girlfriends. We're obviously a bunch of poofs! (Sob!)
ReplyDeleteYou mean we're all gay? I suppose that explains my Black Lightning collection.
ReplyDeleteNah, not necessarily - in Glasgow, the word 'poof' can just mean 'softy' - we even call women poofs. Liking Black Lightning is very gay 'though.
ReplyDeletePhew! That's a relief, I don't fancy getting married to get outa shopping though: 'Why haven't you fixed the tap yet and you expect me to get the groceries with just £500 a week, how am going to afford enough Ryvita?'
ReplyDelete'You're supposed to eat the Ryvita instead of the bacon sandwiches dear'.
'Shut up!'. Thump.
'Ow! Yes dear'.
The only two words a man needs to know for a successful marriage - "Yes dear!"
ReplyDeleteI notice you wrote, 'Successful...' not, happy. Look, I can do italics now.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess a successful marriage is a happy one - and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteWhile we don't have a Boots around here (though their parent company also operates the Walgreens chain in the US), condoms aren't usually sold behind the counter anymore, at least at the drug stores I've been to. Still, quite cute joke here.
ReplyDeleteWell, of course, assuming I didn't just make it up for the purpose of a joke, Chris, I'm sure the assistant'a next line after her little jest would've been "They're on aisle nine, sir!" (Wonder which aisle the Tunes were on?)
ReplyDeleteI guess not where beauty/hygiene products usually go. :-P
ReplyDeleteYes, I know you were making a joke here, I just had to be the idiot for the lack of context.
Context...that's on aisle 12, Chris.
ReplyDelete