NOBODY SEEMS TO 'CARE'...

Okay, continuing on the same theme, when my mother first went into care, the Home said it offered all sorts of extra services, like supplying newspapers (at a price) and sundry other things.  Then it changed its mind and said it couldn't obtain newspapers so I would have to find another option.  That option appeared in the guise of a seemingly helpful staff member who lived across the road from the Home.  She said she visited the newsagent's before work every morning and it would be no bother to get my mother's paper at the same time.  She even dropped into work for a while on her days off, and said she would bring in a newspaper then, too.

This went on for a while until management advised me at a care review that it wasn't a good idea.  I told the staff member I'd find another way of procuring newspapers, but she said "Nah, don't worry about that, I'll continue to get her papers, 'cos I do what I like, I don't listen to them!"  How nice, I thought, so on top of the £50 per month I'd been giving her for the papers, I started giving the woman a gratuity of £20 each month (£70 in total) and she carried on getting them.  Then, over several vists, I noticed my mother didn't always get a paper and expressed to another member of staff my concern, who must've mentioned it to the other woman.

(I should perhaps explain that my mother has a memory retention span of around 15-20 seconds.  Often, when she gets to the end of a newspaper, she goes right back to the beginning and starts again.  However, reading a paper had been part of her daily routine back home and become a habit, which I was trying to maintain for the sake of consistency.)

Next time I visited, the 'paper lady' came into my mother's room and said she'd forgotten to get a paper last time, so she'd bought a TV mag to make up for it.  Price of TV mag?  Around 45 pence, compared to the cost of around £1.30 for a paper.  This happened a few times, and I became concerned about not all the money I supplied for newspapers being spent as it should.  I mentioned this to the woman, who told me to get the papers myself then, which I'd been considering doing anyway.  However, she still owed my mother two papers as I'd given her the money for them a month in advance.  I was visiting my mother the night after she should've been supplied with the two papers (one a daily, one a weekly), but they were nowhere in sight.

What was in sight, though, were various newspapers from several prior visits, as they hadn't been thrown out.  Why would two papers from only the day before be absent when older ones were still there?  The woman claimed she'd given them to other staff to give to my mother, and even mentioned a 'witness'.  When speaking to the person later, her response was "Witness?  I wasn't even there!"  So, here's a bit of interactive participation for you.  What do you call a person who doesn't spend all the money she's been given for newspapers on newspapers, and then lies about it?  Other lies were that I hadn't given her the £70 one month, and only given her £60 the month before - total nonsense of course.  Anyway,  Crivs, over to you...

Lorraine Miller

WOULD YOU 'CARE' TO READ THIS TRUE TALE?

Let me tell you a story - a true story.  This took place just over two years ago and involves a staff member who works at the Care Home my 104 year-old mother currently resides in.  I was leaving one night when I noticed there were no bedsheets or duvets on my mother's bed.  Spotting a staff member at the end of the corridor, I said "Excuse me..." in a perfectly polite way.  Her eyelids flickered, indicating she had heard me but decided not to answer.  "Excuse me" I said again, "there's no bedsheets on my mother's bed."  Her response?  "Nothing' to do wi' me, I've just started my shift - I don't know what happens through the day" (though she should be informed at the handover) she said, without even looking in my direction.  Her tone was contemptuous, and her manner seemed to suggest that I was out of order even speaking to her.

"If I don't tell you, you won't know," I replied, only to be met with a brusque "Ah'll pass it on!"  I told her I didn't like her tone and I reported her the next day.  Because I couldn't supply her name (didn't know it), my complaint was only partially upheld, though as only two or three staff were on in my mother's wing that night, it should've been easy to determine who the offending party was.  Remember when I told you on a previous occasion about finding my mother fully dressed, slumped asleep in her armchair in front of the TV (which was still on, as was the room light) at 1 a.m. in the morning?  (I'd gone up to check on something.)  I also complained about that, and their response was to start locking the outer doors, clearly to prevent me from making any further early morning discoveries of neglect and incompetence.  These doors had never been locked before in the two years my mother had been a resident so you can draw your own conclusions.  (The inner doors had a keypad entry system to which I had the code.)  When I asked this woman why the doors were suddenly being locked, she sarcastically replied "Cuz Ah fancied a change!"

This Care Home has an inability to replace my mother's hearing aid batteries on a regular basis, often leaving her deaf for hours at a time.  Sometimes I would ask this woman to replace them and she'd make the excuse that she had something else to do first.  This happened at least a couple of times.  An hour later, it was time for me to leave, without being able to communicate with my mother as the staff member had apparently disappeared off the face of the earth.  When I asked other members, they said they'd go and get the other woman to do it, but again, there was no show.  This happened several times, and I had no alternative but to depart when my visit was over without being able to speak with my mother.  It was clear to me that the woman was simply being spiteful to get back at me for complaining about her.

A few months back, I arrived and saw her through the windowed inner doors, lolling against the wall while checking her mobile 'phone.  I could hear someone from down the corridor, repeatedly calling "Hello, hello, hello..." so this woman must've heard her too.  When she looked up from her mobile and saw me, she walked off in the opposite direction from the source of the voice, presumably to avoid me.  Once inside, I soon learned that it was my mother, standing at her door and calling for assistance (I hadn't recognised her voice at first), only to be ignored by this particular staff member.  (This was documented in an email at the time.)  You couldn't make it up, could you?  Management, though, seem determined to protect their staff at the expense of the residents and their relatives and I'm made to feel I'm the problem, not their staff. 

And now there have been other developments, which I'll share at a later date.

Janette Beckinridge