THARG'S CHRISTMAS SHOCKS...

Images copyright REBELLION, poem text copyright me

When I was a younger man, I not only looked forward to, but also used to prepare for the coming of Christmas.  I'd buy a copy of The Radio Times and TV Times, and scour their pages, mentally noting what shows, films and radio programmes I'd want to watch or listen to in the run-up to (and on) the big day.  It suddenly occurred to me earlier tonight that, perhaps an occasional issue apart if it had a special cover I liked, I haven't done that in around 20 years, maybe longer.  I find I just don't bother much with whatever's on telly these days - either Christmas or at any other time of the year.

The only thing I decided to watch this year was the 'lost' Morecambe & Wise episode, and even then I forgot about it and only caught it by chance after seeing a TV ad for it on the night.  It made me wonder about what it is that makes us lose our enthusiasm for things that one thrilled or enthralled us when we were younger, and why we so easily lose our once-youthful zest for life.  I'm not saying we want to walk out in front of a bus or anything, but there just seems so very little to get excited about these days when it comes to entertainment on the box in the corner (or on the wall above the mantelpiece) in our living-rooms.  Is it just age, or do we feel that we've seen it all before and nothing much moves us?

Christmas no longer charms me like it once did, though I still like to see decorations lit up in people's windows when I'm out and about.  That aside, I deplore seeing Christmas stock in shops before Hallowe'en has even passed, and I hate the rank commercialism of a season that one seemed so magical when I was younger.  Is it the same for you, or do you still embrace, with joy and enthusiasm, this festive time of year?  If you'd care to, explain why Christmas yet means so much to you, or doesn't, as the case may be.  Before that though, a quick story for you, relating to the Tharg's Future Shocks two pager at the bottom of this post.  (It only just now occurred to me to include it, as it reflects what I was alluding to above.  The post's title came last.)

One day back in the late '70s or early '80s I was browsing through some old Reader's Digest mags stored up in the loft and happened to read an article by someone lamenting the loss of magic from their adult Christmases in comparison to those of their youth.  It struck me as being a good theme for a poem one day (when I could be bothered), but I never got around to writing it until, weeks or months later, one of my pals 'phoned me and said he was writing a poem, but was stuck on how to end it - could I assist?  Sure, I said.

He popped along and showed me what he'd done - a poem about how grown-ups perceive Christmas compared to when they were kids.  The last verse was incomplete, lacking either two or three lines to draw things to a close.  I therefore made a few suggestions, including the title, and he was delighted, incorporating my contributions into his poem, and off he eventually went, pleased with the result.  However, his meter wasn't exactly perfect in places and his rhyme was a bit forced at times, so I essentially rewrote the poem overnight and made what I considered improvements in those areas.

When I 'phoned him the next day and read him the result, he said "Huh, it's not my poem any more, it's yours!" and I suppose he was right.  My version was inspired more by the Reader's Digest article, but there's no denying that my friend's poem was also an influence.  I typed 'Inspired by lines of verse written by MC' on any copies I made so that he wasn't completely deprived of acknowledgement.  Several years later, when I submitted my version to 2000 A.D. specifically as a Future Shock, the credit boxes didn't allow for more than one name at a time in the space allocated to each contributor, so my pal never got a mention.

I've still got his version somewhere (with my original assistance), and when I find it I'll let you see it so that you can compare their merits.  His first verse is punchier than mine, but unfortunately, his meter wasn't consistent, which is why I rewrote it.  Because he'd said it was now my poem, I subsequently made further amendments so it reflected my 'voice' rather than his, but his incarnation will forever belong to him.  Unfortunately, editorial tinkering altered my original metre by removing some words, so the published result isn't exactly how I wrote it. 

Incidentally, I didn't submit an invoice for the poem so was never paid for it.  The copyright on the text is therefore still mine, though the art rights belong to Rebellion.  (Click to enlarge, then click again for optimum size.)

CONAN The BARBARIAN - EPIC COLLECTIONS...

All images copyright MARVEL COMICS and CPI

It's a wet and windy day outside and I've not long taken delivery of Conan The Barbarian Epic Collection Volume 3.  I finished reading Volume 4 last night and very much enjoyed it, so I'm looking forward to it's predecessor, purchased out-of-sequence, and perhaps even published that way.  (The Epic books tend not to appear in chronological order, but maybe it was different with the Cimmerian's tomes.)  I've now got the first four volumes in the series, and it's made me all too aware of just how few Conan colour mags I actually bought and read back in the day - a mere handful at most, as that's all I seem to remember while looking at them in reprint form.

Of course, I read most of the Barry Smith illustrated tales when they appeared in the UK weekly Savage Sword Of Conan in the '70s, and the US monthly Conan Saga from the mid-to-late '80s, but they were in black and white.  I also bought the UK Savage Sword of Conan monthly, so I'd previously read more b&w stories than colour ones when I was younger, though I'm now starting to catch up (if I haven't already).  They're an extremely entertaining read, though I'm not entirely sure that I like Conan as a character, perhaps just preferring the solid storytelling and scripting abilities of Roy Thomas, whether based on Robert E. Howard's tales or not.

Anyway, thought you might like to see the covers of the first four books so that you know what to look for should you decide to acquire them for yourselves.  (Update: I've now added Volumes 5 & 6.)  I'll present them in reverse order just to make things interesting.  But before you study the pretty piccies, were you a fan of Marvel's Conan mags way back when, and are you still today?  If so, tell your fellow Crivvies what you liked about the mags, and say if you intend getting any of the reprint volumes.  Ready?  Then let's go...

(Note: Don't worry - Nemedian gremlins accounted for Volume 3 being repeated, instead of Volume 2.  Now fixed.)

The NEW And IMPROVED SUPERMAN...

Copyright DC COMICS

Did you know the Mego Superman articulated figure can do impressions?  In the right-hand photo below, it's doing an impression of Christopher Reeve - take a look.  Now, let me tell you something you probably already knew about Mego action figures if you had one as a kid - they weren't really all that poseable, and tended not to stay in the positions they were placed in.  They were held together by rubber-bands and hooks, just like Palitoy's Action Man and Pedigree's Tommy Gunn, though the Mego shoulder and thigh joints were more basic, resulting in the arms and legs sticking out at angles and limiting their 'poseability'.

Modern reissues of Mego figures are made for collectors aged 17 and up, not for kids, which is probably why their play value isn't considered a priority; they're not for play, but for display, so if the arms and legs don't hold their pose beyond a limited point, it's no big deal it seems.  The figures issued by modern Mego themselves are a little better than the ones from Figures Toy Company, even though the latter manufacturer reissues the superhero characters originally produced by Mego.  I don't know if there's a connection between the two companies, so if anyone knows, please enlighten me.

However, Figures Toy Co. produces Mego-style bodies which can be bought separately, with improved points of articulation that don't rely on rubber-bands.  There are two versions, a 'type S retro style' (pic on left, below) and a 'deluxe type S retro style' (pic on right), which are huge improvements on the originals, with far more versatility when posing.  (The latter's elbow and knee joints afford a more comprehensive bend.)  So why don't they reissue the Mego figures with the improved joints?  I'd imagine it's all down to cost, as they'd probably have to charge more, which might deter potential buyers who only want the items to look at, not play with.  (I've just noticed they do sell some of the superheroes with type S bodies, and they do cost a bit more.)

Anyway, when I recently purchased my 2016 reissue of the '70s Mego Superman, I was a little disappointed to find that the arms were a bit slack and were extremely restricted in what positions they could be placed in.  As the original 8 inch toy I bought in 1974 was the very first (and only for a good many decades) Mego figure I ever owned, I wanted its replacement to be a cut above the standard 'run-of-the-mill' ones available nowadays, so I bought the 'deluxe type S retro style' via eBay.  However, a short while after paying I realised it was more articulated than I really needed it to be and I'd have been better buying the 'type S retro-style' body.  (Which is still more articulated than the original one.)

Luckily, they sent the wrong one, which was the very figure I should've bought to begin with.  Okay, it was a couple of pounds cheaper than the one I paid for, but I can live with that, as it saves me returning the other one for a replacement.  I've put the Mego Superman head onto his new body and now I have a choice as to exactly which position I can display him.  For example, look at the photo of him with his original body, compared to his new one.  I can even pose him with one foot resting on his other knee if I wanted - not something you could do with a '70s figure.  I'll put the spare Don Blake head which came with my Thor reissue onto Supes' old figure, thereby adding yet another character to my collection.

The new figure (above left) allows me to place Superman's arms by his side as well, whereas the old one (above right) doesn't, as the bands on the arms are attached to the legs, pulling them out from the body.  Like I said, the new body doesn't use rubber-bands, so is far more poseable - and even though I didn't buy it to play with, I still prefer it to be as good as it ought to be, hence the 'upgrade'.  Now I realise this won't be of much interest to most of you, but perhaps there might be the odd Crivvie (and when I say 'odd', I don't mean 'weird') who used to collect Mego figures as a boy, and who'll appreciate this post as a prompt for their own reminiscing of their long-gone childhood.  Hopefully, there'll be more than just one of them.

Some positions the type S allows that the basic figure doesn't