Wednesday, 3 October 2018

MYSTERY OR MIRACLE WITH 'THE MONSTER FROM MARS'...?

Copyright MARVEL COMICS.  Art (and TORCH's two left hands) KIRBY & AYERS

The MIRACLE MAN, as seen in FANTASTIC FOUR #3, is supposed to be the greatest hypnotist on the planet.  Thing is though, he also seems to be the thickest hypnotist on the planet.  Rather than go to all the bother of hypnotizing everybody so that he can rob jewellery stores and banks and thereby amass a fortune, why not just hypnotize them into thinking he has a wallet full of cash whenever he pops out on his weekly shopping jaunt to Tesco's?  "Say, miss - can you change this $100 note?" he'd say, waving a piece of Monopoly money in front of the checkout girl's fizzog.  It always works for me.

The story doesn't really make any sense, and gives the impression that the hypnotist angle was perhaps a last-minute resolution.  "Why's that?" you ask.  Well, the villain supposedly brings a wood and plaster statue of a 'Monster from Mars', situated outside The BIJOU movie theatre, to life, as witnessed by the FF on the TV news.  It goes on a rampage, destroying cars and crashing through brick walls, before being reduced to ashes by The HUMAN TORCH in a field just outside of town.  "How did The Miracle Man make him move??  How??" asks The Torch.  And we might well ask the same question.  According to REED RICHARDS, "The monster never really moved - - he hypnotized us into thinking it did!"

So let me ask the obvious - how do you hypnotize a television camera?  The FF (as well as millions of other TV viewers) were too far away to succumb to MM's power, so all they'd have seen on their screens would've been an immobile statue, not a moving monster.  And if the monster didn't really move, how did it get from outside the movie theatre to the outskirts of town?  Either Stan or Jack, or both of them, hadn't really thought things through with this tale.

One can multiply examples of this kind of oversight a thousandfold with the application of a little thought when reading these bygone classics of yesteryear.  However, perhaps I'm being a little harsh.  These stories were intended to be read by undemanding kids who were only interested in action, adventure and excitement - logic was never part of the package and it hardly seemed to matter as long as the story thrilled and entertained its young readership.

Remember, we're talking about 'long-underwear characters' - absurdity is inherent in the basic premise from the get-go.  So, the next time you're reading your favourite comic, don't get hung up on the details - just enjoy it for what it is.  Unless, that is, it takes itself so seriously that the writer deserves a slap on the head if you ever run into him.  (And, if so, give him a good slap from me while you're about it.)

DOOM WATCH...


Images copyright MARVEL COMICS

Behold - DOCTOR DOOM - whose image The FANTASTIC FOUR (well, three of them anyway) can see by means of a spherical screen, transmitted from elsewhere in the Latverian monarch's castle stronghold.  Got that?  It's a TV pic, yet there's REED RICHARDS, supposedly the brightest man on the planet, stretching out for that image and saying "I've got to reach him!"  Why?  What good would it do for Reed to touch the televised visage of the villain who's trying to destroy them?  No good at all, surely.

Is Reed hallucinating in his oxygen-bereft state?  Does he think that he sees the real Doom before him - even if it's only a giant head and shoulders shot of the evil arch-fiend?  The picture as dialogued just doesn't make any sense.  Ah, but that means it's the dialogue that's at fault, which suggests STAN LEE is to blame for the absurdity, not JACK KIRBY, you say.  Well, Stan's merely giving voice to what Jack drew, which is Reed reaching out to touch a giant, globular television screen, so Jack's equally culpable in this instance.

Or, I suppose, we could say it's merely symbolic and therefore not meant to be taken literally and let it go at that.  Oh, I dunno though...

What do you think?