WHEN CHRISTMAS WAS JUST DANDY...

Image copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

As anyone not living on the outer reaches of Tatooine or recovering from serious brain surgery can tell you, the content of The DANDY's current incarnation (with a couple of exceptions) is a big putrid pile of pongy poo, thus rendering it redundant for any practical purpose.  It's not even fit for lining the bottom of Polly the parrot's cage, as the idea is to take sh*t out, not put it in.

So, let's return to an earlier era when The Dandy still sold in many multiples of thousands and, unlike today, didn't have cheap plastic tat attached to help it sell to those who don't actually want the comic itself.  Kids and bigger kids - I give you the cover of the Christmas Dandy from 1947.  (Round of applause.)

Back then, KORKY The CAT was the cover star, and had been since issue #1 in 1937, eventually being replaced by DESPERATE DAN in 1984.  Until then, he had missed only one cover - in 1945 when KEYHOLE KATE grabbed top-billing for an issue.    

WHAT DO CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND WD-40 HAVE IN COMMON?

Image copyright MARVEL COMICS

Behold!  The ever-lovin' tenth issue of CAPTAIN BRITAIN from 1976.  Although it's dated December 15th, it actually went on sale the week before (8th), as is the way of British weekly comics.  (No, they don't all go on sale on Dec 8th - I mean they usually hit the shops a week before the date on the cover.  There are exceptions of course.)

In my mind, I've always associated this issue with Christmas 1976, although the actual Christmas number didn't appear 'til a couple of weeks later.  The reason I remember this one though, is because the day I bought it there was snow on the ground - just like on the cover.  Also, I was signwriting a pickup truck in a garage forecourt that day, and, because of the cold, I couldn't work quite as fast as I would've liked.  Plus, it was also a month to the very day since I had packed in my job at BOOTS The CHEMISTS.

Another thing I remember is a visiting rep expounding the advantages of a 'new' product to the garage owner (Mr. McTIER), while demonstrating its properties on a large nut and bolt.  The product?  WD-40.  I say new, but actually WD-40 was developed in 1953 and first became commercially available in San Diego in 1958. I can only assume it was still pretty much a 'secret' in Britain in 1976 though, for the rep to be pushing it as the 'next big thing'.

Funny the things that stick in one's mind, eh?  That's why CB #10 will always remind me of Christmas 1976 (and WD-40) more than just about anything else.  I was young, the world lay at my feet - and the future was mine for the taking.  

DENNIS HAS SNOWBALLS - WALTER HAS NO - ER, LET'S LEAVE THAT THERE, ACTUALLY...

Image copyright D.C. THOMSON & Co., Ltd

One can never have enough of DENNIS The MENACE in my opinion.  Of course, I mean when he was funny, not the anaemic, cutesy-looking, wimpy impersonator who's taken his place in recent years.  (Sigh.)  Never mind - at least we have nearly 20 years worth of classic Dennis strips as drawn by his original artist DAVEY LAW to enjoy - like the one which graces this very post.

Hard as it may be for some people to believe, I know of one comics collector who has never cared much for the exploits of the indomitable Dennis.  Doesn't like humour strips about 'rough boy' apparently.  The irony involved in his being the living embodiment of WALTER The SOFTY is obviously lost on him.  We rugged, manly, he-men type collectors can look down on his effete wimpishness with well-deserved contempt.  We're Menace fans and proud of it.