Tuesday 22 September 2020

MELANCHOLY MUSINGS...

Childhood.  An age of innocence where time seems to hold no sway, and awareness of the future only extends as far as looking forward to school holidays, birthday and Christmas presents, and the latest issue of your favourite comic going on sale.  That apart, there only seems to exist one big 'now', and whatever state you find yourself in feels like it will never end.  The house you're living in will be your home forever, you'll always be a schoolboy (or girl), and your parents and siblings will be around for as long as you are - which feels like it will be for eternity.  Childhood - the best days of our lives we're told, and unless you lived in a third world country beset by war and poverty or were the victim of abuse or cruelty, they are.

It's all downhill from there I'm sad to say.  Age, illness, deaths of loved ones, financial and family worries, uncertainty about a future you never even realised lay ahead of you, so accustomed were you to the eternal present you once thought you had.  Sure, there are good moments too as the years pass and your youth recedes, but they're always bittersweet once you reach that age where you're painfully aware there are more years behind you than lie ahead.  Do policemen, teachers, shop assistants, workmen, etc., all look younger than you recall them being in your day?  They're not, it's just that you're getting older and at the stage where you're beginning to 'fret to find your bedtime near'.  The final bedtime that is.

So now that I've cheered everyone up with my positive and optimistic assessment, let me ask you all a question.  Are you fulfilled in your life; do you have a goodly store of pleasant memories while yet adding to them each and every day, or do you feel that you never achieved your potential and still have so much more you want to do, while being all too well aware that you really don't have enough time ahead of you in which to do it?  Linger a moment  in the darker recesses of your mind, consider your life up to now, and then share your regrets (if any) and sadness of how quickly life seems to pass without us being aware of it until we near journey's end.

(There's no doubt about it - I'll need to stop taking those happiness pills.)

9 comments:

McSCOTTY said...

That was a pretty bleak summery Kid but yes childhood (basing this on the 5 to 12 year old age band) was a pretty special and magical for me. I think part of the reason for this is that as a child our emotional and tactile experiences are going to be more vivid and stronger than when we age as we are doing things for the first time. For example I can still recall the first peach I ever ate (on a holiday in Italy as a 7 year old) with crystal clarity. In a similar vein I can recall the magic of seeing Wham! issue 1 with the free gift and Ditko’s Spiderman then in later issue seeing Ken Reids artwork etc. I doubt I would experience that excitement for a comic ever again. As a kid most on my peers couldn't wait to grow up but I was always very happy to be a “bairn” and I have been content in the age group I have found myself in throughout my years. However I do think that with regard to anything not just childhood that there's a tendency of looking back with rose-tinted spectacles. As a kid I didn’t like school at all , I was on occasion bullied (not often to be fair) had no money to buy the things I wanted, I recall winters being Baltic with limited heating in the morning (as was the norm then in the West of Scotland) etc. But I do also have great memories of my 20’s and 30s - going on my first holidays with my pals, getting girlfriends, first drinks, meals in nice restaurants (not just burger bars) , my first rented flat, parties, going to gigs, my first job, buying my fist house, car etc. Of course with that also comes hangovers, mortgages payments , insurance payments, dead end jobs, financial insecurity, relationship break ups etc. but that is all part of the life experience – family and friends passing for me has always been the most difficult area to deal with and is the main “downer” as I go through the years I simply accept I am getting older I can’t do anything about it. And yes I do still have great experiences as I seek them out (they don’t come to you like they did in your youth) two years ago we went to Australia for a month, we still go to concerts, take weekend trips away and experience the local culture. My childhood years will always be VERY special due to the people that made them that way for me, and I do miss the “magic” of childhood, sadly I will never be Batman (in my mind) in the morning and a cowboy in the afternoon ever again (well, barring Dementia) but I still have fun and enjoy things today….. just in a different way.

McSCOTTY said...

..and yes I know that Ditko's Spider-Man appeared in Pow! not Wham! - sorry I meant to write "..seeing the first issues of Wham! and Pow!"

Kid said...

Apologies for taking so long to publish and reply to your comments, McS, but been pretty busy today, shopping, etc., not long back. I think once I got to around 40, my life became a bit of a drudge and my tendency (from childhood) to look back on things became even more pronounced. I suspect my collecting habits represent an attempt to surround myself with the things from childhood in order to foster the illusion that I'm not so far removed from it - sometimes it brings it closer, then does an about-turn and makes it seem like it was centuries ago - depends on which end of memory's 'telescope' I view things, I suppose. I've never really had the urge to travel, or learn to drive, or do much of anything to be honest, so my opportunities are limited by my own lack of aspirations. My main joy these days is when I manage to acquire an old comic or toy, or get a reprint of an old comic - like the Facsimile Editions, True Believers, and Omnibus volumes. Always looking back, that's me.

McSCOTTY said...

My comic collecting is based on a 70/30 split of nostalgia and habit. Like yourself I get a “kick” out of picking up an old comic I used to have (or wanted) from back in the day. In most cases opening up an old Marvel/DC etc can take me right back to when I was a kid (or teenager, even a young adult). Although I generally prefer the original old comics (regardless of condition- within reason) a wee facsimile edition does the trick as well. Nothing wrong with visiting the past Kid.

Kid said...

You're right, McS, nothing wrong with visiting the past. Trouble is, I want to take a fortnight's holiday there - every two weeks! Regarding condition, when a replacement for an old comic looks its age, the particular time in my life it represents seems like ages ago, whereas, if it looks new, it doesn't seem too long ago since I bought the original. You can imagine my confusion when I have two different comics from the same week, and one looks old and the other looks new. The only thing that perplexes me as much is when someone hands me a scrap of paper with 'P.T.O.' written on both sides.

Lionel Hancock said...

It's good to look back at the past. If the past wasnt there I would be in a nuthouse. I am always being told I dwell too much on the past ...live for the present. To hell with the present the past is still in my mind and will never go. Bring back the 60s and let's have some fun again guys.

Kid said...

Seconded, LH. Wish someone would hurry up and invent a time machine.

Anonymous said...

There are times when years seem to have vanished from my memory, or at least combined with others perhaps? I'm not sure I'd ever want to relive or revisit any moments in particular. Although I do wonder if we realised what life as adults would entail whether we would have made sure to have enjoyed it much more?

Tg

Kid said...

You mean you wouldn't want to revisit your wedding day or when your children were born, TG? Aren't they supposed to be the greatest days in someone's life?

I think one of the reasons we enjoy our childhoods in particular is that we're not TRYING to enjoy them - we just DO. Once you start pursuing happiness for its own sake, it very often eludes you.



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