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| The house with the lit-up windows and dark door was mine |
I was in a local chip shop earlier tonight, waiting on a fish being freshly fried, and the woman serving me lives in the very same neighbourhood that my family moved to from Glasgow back in 1960. She's been there since 1959 - 60 years, even though she's younger than me. My family stayed there for about 4 years, before moving down the road to another street, and then we moved to another neighbourhood around 15 months later. The assistant and me fell to mentioning a few names that used to live in 'our' street, and there's a couple who still inhabit the same house as they did back then, though their kids flew the nest years ago.
That set me thinking to what it must be like for grown up children to visit the family home where they grew up and from which their parents have never moved, and it made me a little envious. It must surely be like revisiting the past, seeing familiar ornaments and pictures, etc. My history in my current house only goes back 47 years (but seems nowhere near as long as that), and I began to wonder (as I've done before) what it would've been like had we never flitted in 1964 and I was yet living in that first house instead of my present one. My pre-teenage childhood is spread over three houses, but what would it have been like if it had only ever been one?
Would my perceptions be different because every toy and comic I ever bought growing up would be associated with one house and neighbourhood as opposed to three? (And same goes for TV programmes.) As I've said before in another post, it somehow seems that I had three childhoods instead of just one, and though I'd be loath to have to relinquish that feeling (and the memories of the accompanying experiences, as well as friends I might never have met), the idea of one single childhood appeals to me in some indefinable way.
Is it because that, as a mere five year-old child, I thought I'd live in that first house forever (which, in my youthful ignorance, is what I unconsciously assumed) and resented being prematurely plucked from it? Could it be a desire to finally fulfil a then-unfolding fate that was denied to me by moving, or is it something else entirely? Is it because I want to again set my step upon 'the road not taken' due to detours in other directions cropping up along the way and leading me off-track? Did my life unfold the way it was intended to (for those who believe in predestination), or was it flung to the winds, to fall where it will?
Is it because that, as a mere five year-old child, I thought I'd live in that first house forever (which, in my youthful ignorance, is what I unconsciously assumed) and resented being prematurely plucked from it? Could it be a desire to finally fulfil a then-unfolding fate that was denied to me by moving, or is it something else entirely? Is it because I want to again set my step upon 'the road not taken' due to detours in other directions cropping up along the way and leading me off-track? Did my life unfold the way it was intended to (for those who believe in predestination), or was it flung to the winds, to fall where it will?
Who can say? Not me, as I have difficulty even articulating my nebulous thoughts in a precise way, but hopefully I've managed to convey at least a sense of what I was aiming at. Got any thoughts on the matter, fellow Crivs? Ever wonder how your life might've turned out had you never moved elsewhere as a kid, or changed schools, or this or that had never happened - or something else had? Express yourselves in the comments section.
Incidentally, the assistant told me her family had moved into the house when she was only around 3 months old, the scheme having been only recently completed, so it's likely that my family were also the first tenants in our house. It gives me a good feeling to know that we were the first family to live in what was our first house in a New Town, having lived in a tenement in Glasgow's West End prior to that, and I feel even more 'connected' to the house than previously. Every other house - bar the one we lived in from 1983-'87, where we were also the first residents - we were the second family to live there. (Not that I feel they were any less 'mine' for that.)
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Incidentally, the assistant told me her family had moved into the house when she was only around 3 months old, the scheme having been only recently completed, so it's likely that my family were also the first tenants in our house. It gives me a good feeling to know that we were the first family to live in what was our first house in a New Town, having lived in a tenement in Glasgow's West End prior to that, and I feel even more 'connected' to the house than previously. Every other house - bar the one we lived in from 1983-'87, where we were also the first residents - we were the second family to live there. (Not that I feel they were any less 'mine' for that.)
8 comments:
I've mentioned before that I was born in Islington then when I was about 15 months old we moved to the north of Scotland before finally moving to South Wales around my second birthday. I often wonder how my life would have been different if I'd grown up in the heart of London or in remote rural northern Scotland.
Just think, CJ - there may be alternate universes where these scenarios were played out in reality. So you were only in Scotland for around 9 months? It won't have registered with you at all then, eh? I may have asked you before, but I can't remember - do you consider yourself Welsh or English?
Kid, a few weeks ago I was asked to participate in the National Survey of Wales. An interviewer came to my house and asked various questions - one of her questions was "Do you consider yourself Welsh or British?" I replied that I couldn't decide so 50/50. On Christmas cards I write both Merry Christmas and Nadolig Llawen. I don't consider myself English at all even though I am technically. I was told that I'd receive a £10 voucher as a thank-you for taking part in the survey but so far I've received sod all.
And when/if you ever do get it, it'll probably be a voucher to spend in a shop that you never use, CJ. Whenever I'm asked what nationality I am (either in person or on a form), I always say British, 'cos I'm a British Scot or a Scottish Brit, whichever you prefer.
My life would have been VERY different if my parents hadn't moved when I was eight. To explain, my parents were both from poorer typical working class families, but my father worked at Little Aston Hall as a carpenter and night watchman, and he had a cottage rent-free on the grounds. We were one of only two families on the grounds. Little Aston was known as "millionaire's row", so we obviously didn't fit in, but my father mixed with the rich socially, mainly due to his free membership of the golf club. My mother accused him of hobnobbing, but I admit that in my later years I would have acted the same way. In 1964 Little Aston Hall was sold and split into three entities, the largest of which became Little Aston Park. My parents asked the new owners if they could buy their house, but they refused, saying it would be torn down. In actual fact the house remained empty until the 1980's. My parents moved to a less attractive area in the middle of Walsall, a place more appropriate to our social standing. I made normal friends. If I'd remained in Little Aston I would have mixed with millionaires into my mid 20's. What would have become of me? It's impossible to say. My wife says I would have become a less pleasant person. Maybe.
And you may never have met your wife, MH. It's funny how the people we become seems to be dependent on our surroundings and our situation, eh? Or would we be the people we are regardless. Wish I knew. If you'd continued to mix with millionaires, you may have had opportunities which would've resulted in you becoming one yourself. As long as you're happy (or at least content) with your current situation is the main thing I suppose.
There's another reason why I might not have met my wife. I wanted to join the police force, but I was turned down because of my height. There was a condition that police officers had to be at least 5'10", and I was only 5'9½". Half an inch changed my career plans, and a few years later I emigrated to Germany, where I met my wife. But you know what the most ridiculous thing was? Less than two years after I was turned down the height restriction was removed, so I could have joined the police anyway. When I look back on my life so many things happened that were the result of chance or spontaneous decisions.
I suspect it's the same for most of us, MH. I was born in Glasgow and lived there for the first year and a half of my life, then we moved to a New Town. My earliest memories are of growing up in a brand-spanking new town with clean buildings and lots of grassy areas. Had we remained in Glasgow though, with its darker colour schemes and tenement buildings which cast a darker pall, I suspect it would have affected me in some way. In fact, I find it almost impossible to imagine my childhood any different to the way it was - but it COULD have been.
Originally published 20 December 2019 at 10:28.
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